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Why Road Cyclist Make Better Lovers and other bits of randomness

Posted 06-14-2011 at 11:09 PM by Living212
Call it a mid-life crisis or whatever but I decided to get back into road cycling. I am training for a big ride and as part of being a cyclist, one must shave their pins. (Legs)

I've heard and it seems to be the case with all the bi-curious posting I see from seemingly heterosexual women, that in order to be a better lover, a man must understand women A LOT better. SooooOOOooooo, just as 1 plus 1 equals 2, if a man wants to be a better lover, he must become a road cyclist.

Supporting Evidence:
1. As mentioned above, cyclist shave their legs. We know and understand what a pain in the ass it can be.
2. Cyclist know what is feels like to walk around with a big ole pad between our legs. (Chamios is a godsend.)
3. Cyclist know how to dress in bright outfits to get attention. (A-hole drivers need to PUT THE CELL down.)
4. Speaking of attention from drivers, cyclist also know what it is like to get whistled at from cars and even sexual slurs. (Although "I Want to..." usually does not proceed "Fuck you" in the case for cyclists.
5. We know how to accessorize.
6. We try to walk in shoes that were clearly not designed to walk in.

I think that with all this knowledge of women that cyclist have, its no wonder that we cyclists can do it:

...on two wheels.
...without burning gas.
...for hundreds and hundreds of miles.
...while drinking from a water bottle.
...while in a pack of several other cyclists.

and if all that doesn't convince you, just know this, my junk looks awesome in my bike shorts!
Total Comments 8

Comments

Old
DomesticDiva's Avatar
I liked this...AND I took notes
Posted 06-14-2011 at 11:28 PM by DomesticDiva DomesticDiva is offline
Old
Ms. M's Avatar
Nice! Makes me want to...ride.
Posted 06-15-2011 at 09:20 AM by Ms. M Ms. M is offline
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Corvid's Avatar
I raced bicycles for a number of years and dutifully shaved my legs every spring and kept them so until after cyclocross season. What a pain. I often wonder why, why do cyclist do this? It was easy to rule out the aerodynamic advantage (miniscule) and the advantage of cleaning wounds (roadrash isn't made worse by the hair; I didn't shave my ass yet lost skin there a few times. Hair is nothing.) and in easing therapeutic massage (dude, where's my soigner?) are imaginary. In the end, I realized that we did it for the same reason women do: to intimidate the competition.
Posted 06-15-2011 at 12:00 PM by Corvid Corvid is offline
Old
Living212's Avatar
I couldn't agree more for the most part. Although the main reason I shave is that it is a lot easier to apply sunscreen, lotion and warming oil. Not to mention how much better they look.
Posted 06-15-2011 at 03:04 PM by Living212 Living212 is offline
Old
redwing's Avatar
LOL nice post....."and if all that doesn't convince you, just know this, my junk looks awesome in my bike shorts!" ok now you have to post a pic.
Posted 06-15-2011 at 09:01 PM by redwing redwing is offline
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hijiller's Avatar
clever and fun to read. a thinking man's take on shaving.

But, does it itch when it grows back?? huh?? if not, try between the legs.
Posted 06-19-2011 at 03:28 PM by hijiller hijiller is offline
Old
*Brad*'s Avatar
Cycle tours are the best fun 3000 people in lycra and partying every night. Have never been fast enough to justify shaving the legs - think you have to look semi-pro to get away with it.
Posted 07-01-2011 at 09:23 AM by *Brad* *Brad* is offline
Old
hyrok40's Avatar
I never gave much thought about the "better lover" but I am hitting the trails tomorrow. Thanks for the tips. No shaving though and no funny clothes either
Posted 08-17-2011 at 12:15 AM by hyrok40 hyrok40 is offline
 
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