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For those of you who do not know me I have been married 21 yrs. A long time. In this amount of time I have found that I have come accustomed to feelings of guilt.

My husband is not the most secure person. I was naive and young when we married and was not the strong person I am today. I let him dictate to me. I allowed him to belittle me and tell me how stupid my interests were. Friends were never good enough, etc...

It is strange how you begin to second guess your every move and allow this garbage you have been fed to eat it's way into your brain like a worm in an apple.

U know the things you enjoy and the goals you have are normal but yet you ask yourself, "am I being unfair?"

I suppose it is like a disease. I can't believe I allowed it and to this day allow it, to a degree. I hate confrontation and hate the way it affects a family.

Family, I look at my son and pray he never treats women that way. I will personally kick his ass! And my daughters, they better not allow this to happen to them. I see my oldest with boyfriends and I don't think she will.

It is easy to say I am weak and I should leave. Maybe I am. I guess that is for me to determine and to work out myself and I have a feeling I will in due time.

What really intrigues me is how a person can be so oblivious to what they are doing. My husband thinks he loves tremendously and sees no faults.

Maybe someone will read this and know they are not alone, or maybe they will read it and think, that I am crazy!
Old

Cream Corn

Posted 11-05-2009 at 02:50 PM by gdgrlgnbd
What could possibly be significant about cream corn? It is not an exceptionally wonderful delicacy. Why is it I have 2 unopened cans on my desk?

The last time I ever saw my father was just after his birthday. I had been trying to get him to go out to lunch with me, he was such a tight ass, he never wanted me to spend the money on him. So instead one day he offers to bring me lunch at the office.

It was the most hilarious thing you ever saw. He brought heated up frozen
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Where is my turkey?
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Old

Left My Heart In.......

Posted 10-26-2009 at 06:04 PM by gdgrlgnbd
Updated 10-26-2009 at 06:31 PM by gdgrlgnbd
Yesterday was my birthday and I was told we could do whatever I wanted. I thought about it some and I wanted to do something different, something we had not done before, so I chose going to the San Francisco Zoo. My parents used to take me there when I was a little girl, it has probably been over 30 years since I had last been.

The day was perfect, sun shining, not at all cold, sky was clear. The City glistened from the bridge as we crossed. As we got closer to the zoo, those
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Where is my turkey?
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Bleeding Hearts

Posted 10-02-2009 at 02:19 PM by gdgrlgnbd
Hearts bleed for many reasons. I would like to believe that the cure would be love and understanding. Although maybe sometimes that is not enough, people require more attention then we are able to give. Or their hurt is deeper then we ever imagined.

I would love to save everyone in the world, unfortunately that is not possible. There is too much pain that kind words, hugs and empathy alone can not make go away.

The reason for me writing this is a boy that my son goes
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Where is my turkey?
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This is MY vent

Posted 09-29-2009 at 07:31 PM by gdgrlgnbd
Updated 09-29-2009 at 07:35 PM by gdgrlgnbd (addition of thought)
Where to start? First off let me say, this is going to be semi depressing, so if you have a problem with that, it's ok to move on. I actually don't care if anyone responds or not. This, as I said, is for ME.

I mean what do you do when you have no one to tell your problems to? No shoulder to cry on? Lots of talking in your head and no way to get it out? This is not a pity post, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. Whatever issues I am having, will eventually pass, if not...
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If you were (inspired by the thread)

Posted 07-17-2009 at 02:49 PM by gdgrlgnbd
If you were a penny,
I would put you in my pocket and

rub you for good luck.

If you were a phone,

I would cradle you in the
crook of my neck and
tell you my deepest thoughts.

If you were a locket,
I would place you on
a long, shiny strand of gold
where you would dangle between
my breasts where you would be
warm and safe always.

If you were a quilt
I would find tranquility in your
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Where is my turkey?
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