So, I noticed the threesome and orgy threads the other day and was then watching the Contessa on the Food Network and the question came to mind …. How would I host an orgy?

:lmao :lmao :lmao

:( Alright, I did not say this had to be a real possibility.

I’m thinking a good orgy requires significant and careful planning. Themes, food, beverages, male enhancement and endurance products …. The list is endless. And of course, planning requires execution which then reduces me to a Voyeur at best. But, desperate men-desperate measures, yadda, yadda, yadda. Besides, I have honed my voyeuristic skills quite well here, so I should be good to go.

Let’s see ….

Theme or no theme? I think you gotta have a theme. Think about those parties where nobody knows anybody and are left to themselves in starting a conversation – “Hi.” “Hi.” “I’m John.” “I’m Doe.” “Come here often?” “No.” <awkward silence> “Wanna f$%k?” “Ok.” Now, compare that to a theme – “Wow, hot costume!” “Thanks! Wanna f$%k?” “Oh yeah!” On the basis of mathematics alone, the cumulative time of those awkward silences alone demands a theme. Besides, without a little fun inserted into the party, who would want to come?

<pause for pun appreciation>

Ok, so theme it is. Now, guests. This shouldn’t be hard. 2:1 ratio of women to men? I mean, seriously, how many men would actually show up alone?

<crickets chirping>

Alright – free toy for the first 20 women. Men selected on basis of a questionnaire and picture review (and certainly not on first come – first serve basis).

Food and beverage. Well, there are some obvious “don’ts” here. Aside from the scents and tastes that are obvious objectives of the party, there are some that are just not appropriate (for both primary and secondary effects) - Broccoli, chili, beer – garlic in moderation is an exception given it’s an aphrodisiac. On the other hand, you don’t want to serve too much either – who wants to screw on a full stomach or deal with the performance reducing effects of inebriation? Maybe a little lobster or crab legs with drawn butter, savoring that rich, sweet taste lingering on your tongue, with a nice martini as you gaze intently over the rim as you slowly sip, finishing with a seductive lick of the lips ….

I stray.

Ambience and accessories. The theme should obviously dictate most of this, though there are some fundamentals -an array of festively colored and textured condoms, scented and flavored lotions, towels and wetnaps, rhythmic music and adult erotica, various restraints, more towels. Toys? Well, other than the invitational incentive above, I’m thinking it’s BYOT. Besides, I can only afford so much after decorations, food, beverages, 6 webcams with HD streaming, and a high quality printer for “instant memory” souvenirs.

<note to self - be cautious about candles unless you want scene reenactments from Body of Evidence - 9 1/2 weeks? ok, but stock the fridge>

Hmmm, maybe I could do this. Of course I would be busy filling condom bowls, taking pictures, replacing towels, gawking – but the potential deep and meaningful relationships I could make would be worth the sacrifice. May have to try this on my upcoming business trip. I can see the Craigslist ad now …. “M4MW – Orgy. Have room. Any and all welcome. Please?!?”.

I am so fed up with doctors.
Honestly I am.

My oldest girl was complaining about an ear ache.
Ok fine, probably yet ANOTHER ear infection.
She has been plauged with them since she was a baby.

Anyways, the doc pulls up her chart and says " I see your due for your gaurdasil vaccine, as soon as the ear infection clears up, well have you come back and give it to you"

I told the doc, no he was mistaken,
I had waived the vaccine.

He proceeds to tell me all the benefits, how it prevents cervical cancer yadda yadda yadda..

This is what gets me, and pisses me off to no end.
IT IS NOT A CERVICAL CANCER VACCINE!!
it is an HPV vaccine!!
and it only protects against 4 strains of HPV,
it does not mean she is protected 100 percent against cervical cancer,
and it is not 100 percent to protect her against it.

UNGH!!!

I told him that there have been no long term reports yet, will it effect her ability to have kids in the future if she decides to have them?
Is she going to be more prone to ovarian cysts?
Is it going to effect her menstral cycles?
Will she be more prone to heavier bleeding and clots?
Will she have lighter and less painful cycles?
no one knows, no one is willing to help me find the answers.
Nope, sorry aint happening until I have them.


He told me I could not wave it, she was going to get it, whether I wanted her to or not, and If I disagreed he would call CPS on me, for neglect.

I really hate doctors

Ok , so it all started innocent at first.

My son , not yet three, well truth be told I see ALOT of me in there, his looks thankfully he gets from his mother but the rest is all me. So with that being said I can completely relate when I see him get into trouble, not able to calm down all that energy, that need for a rush.
So we have started playing this game called "speed racer". Was a great game till mom found out. The game began harmlessly by me putting him on his big wheel and letting him free fall down the driveway into the street with me watching at the bottom of the slope. (We live at the end of a very quiet culdesac so the only true danger was him tipping over). Then I had the idea, lets tie him to the back of the bike and I can tow him around a bit. Now it was fun and hey I was getting a bit of exercise in the process.
Now the part where I realize I am in trouble. Everyday for the past 2 weeks when I get home from work .... there he is ... helmet in hand, sitting on the porch ... waiting like a tiger in the weeds for his victim, me, he pounces as soon as I get out of my truck... "Daddy.. its tyme for speed wacer". I get the bike out hook him up and he hones his skills whipping behind me like a professional water skier. Thus far we have only ran into 2 parked cars, 3 shrubs, and there was the unfortunate puppy accident.

Hello. I am a Geek.

It is an important, inescapable part of who I am. I Geek, therefore I am. Obviously at my age, I’m an old school Geek. That is hard to maintain over time, let me tell you. If you doubt my qualifications to speak as a Geek, consider the following framework, well established in high school:

* First Girlfriend – Dumped me for a popular jock (fundamental requirement)
* Second Girlfriend – Gave herself to the guy after me
* Third Girlfriend – Discovered she was a lesbian
* Fourth Girlfriend – Only one to voluntarily have sex with me without intoxication or compensation, so I married her
* Chess club, Math Club, Science Fair, Forensics, Powder Puff Cheerleader …. enough said.
* Played Dungeons and Dragons (with a now famous SF author btw – bonus points!)
* Hosted an illicit Monty Python Fest with MadDog 2020 as the main beverage
* Implemented self-preservation strategy of helping key thugs graduate
* Dark rimmed glasses with tape? Yep! But, I didn’t have the pocket protector as I preferred the natural effect of ink stains (I was such a rebel!)

As I said, time and society play their little games that continually threaten one’s Geekiness. Little known to most people (because most people aren’t Geeks – duh!) is that seasoned Geeks like me must subject themselves to Geekolution.

Geekolution: The ability of a Geek, for economic and propagation purposes, to adapt to one’s environment without abandoning the fundamental tenets of Geekocity.

Now, modesty aside, I am a textbook example of successful Geekolution. So good in fact, some people at times have mistakenly called me charming, funny, cute or some other quality that normal people have. But, the most important part of Geekolution is maintaining that inner Geek. Proof abounds (but certainly not limited to) ….

• Love cooking, not for nutrition or sustenance, but for the sheer beauty of combining mathematics, chemistry and physics
• Never fail to cry when watching the coronation scene of “Return of the King”
• Wrote the “Bill of Responsibilities” as a corollary to the Bill of Rights
• Read the Biography of E=MC2 and wrote note of appreciation to the author
• Calculated the speed of an average ant on a relative basis with humans
• Collections of fossils, arrowheads, ancient coins ….
• Start blogging (case in point) when most others have moved to new virtual social interaction (very important for a Geek to lag society)
• Crush on Kari from Mythbusters

Before you freak out because you may have an attribute that resembles something like these, let me lay your fears to rest. By definition, a Geek must exhibit and maintain multiple character flaws (some of which can be frequently abandoned and returned to … kinda like this site). You’re safe, I’m quite sure.

I was born a Geek. I live as a Geek. I will die as a Geek (with the hope that I am reincarnated as a science experiment, a beloved vibrator (I didn’t say Geeks weren’t horny too), or a rock with eyes).

<Pink Floyd playing loudly in the background>

As others (hopefully), I often wonder why it is I continue to come here. To be sure, it is a community of fascinating people and I love to learn about others. And, if I have something to say about anything, there is almost certainly a thread somewhere (whether you want to hear it or not). But, unquestionably, there's more and I find myself constantly and deliberately trying to maintain identity and a comfort-zone.


Though it would be easy to treat this like some detached, faceless experience with no regard to anything but gratification of some self-centered motive, I don’t. I have this set of self-imposed “ethics” I try to follow when I come to the site. Obviously, respect always – presume nothing. Do not PM in chat unless PM’d (which usually comes from men!). Don’t read others’ conversations or snoop on relationships – not my style and none of my business. Try not to intrude on a posting chase. Would anyone know the difference? Just me.

You make connections – for an hour, a day, a week …. some intensely interesting but vanishing as quickly as they arose, some growing into an enjoyable friendship of banter and good wishes, some becoming heart thumpingly important and more enduring. Though it is far more the former than the latter for me, it doesn’t matter because each one makes me richer for the knowing.

Bottom line is I am pretty clueless about flirting. I am just a Y chromosome floating around making a bunch of smart ass remarks and occasionally sharing a few coherent thoughts. Hoping that maybe I have brought a smile or a laugh or even an occasional comfort to someone. Have I made mistakes? Yes, but they were never with the intention of becoming someone else’s “lesson learned”. And, contrary to popular belief, I am human and have wants that go wanting, exposing vulnerability despite my best attempts to conceal it.

So what is it? Am I looking for something or is it about something finding me? Is it just trying to be a part of something unique with some who may share the same feelings or circumstances or is it a strange vicarious path to achieving some happiness that’s missing? Is it an attempt to take the risk of friendship? A crush? A slut? A voyeur? A friend? A fool? In all likelihood, the answer is probably both “I don’t know” and “yes”.

I have found that each day, I learn something new.

I figured I would share them with my freinds here.

lesson 1 - the rate at which a room will become dirty is directly proportionate to how much time you have spent cleaning it.

lesson2 - never underestimate the ability
of a child to muck up a clean room.

lesson 3 - never underestimate a childs sense of humor.

lesson 4 - never underestimate your kids, PERIOD, they are totally full of surprises, and they wil make your heart melt and bring a smile to your face every single day.

You walk in the room and your entire being immediately eases into the moment and your mind creates a million images of what is to come. Suddenly your attention is demanded and your gaze is transfixed on this vision of exquisite beauty. You are powerless and cannot resist … and don’t want to resist. Your hunger and desire combine into a singular, lustful need. All of your senses scream for the want, but your strongest need is to taste. Slowly, you move to indulge, but then pause as the scent … that scent … invades your entire body and feeds the hunger. You cannot wait. The first touch to your lips sends a shudder and finally …. you taste. Your tongue languishes in not just the luscious taste, but dances in a frenzy with the scent and the feel. Your body begs for more and you ravenously oblige. Each taste better than the last, pausing now and again to feed your eyes as well. Again and again and again until ….. the finish! Amazing, but still hungering for more.



But, with dinner done now, you have to do the dishes. Damn I love cooking!

The problem with having my own business is that, between projects, I have WAY too much time on my hands. So instead of dominating the random thought thread (or the masturbation thread for that matter) ....

I want to be someone's Missed Connection on Craigslist (and for someone to call me about my "Special" in the adult section).

I want to get together with a woman named Timex.

Is a biological clock the love child of Mother Nature and Father Time?

<brief break for visit to the Masturbation thread>

Is the person who invented the machine that puts twist ties on bread bags left handed?

Do bike seats prevent prostate enlargement? (sure as hell feels like it)

How can Tom Delay have two left feet??


Ok, we now return you to your previously scheduled flirt already in progress.

For those of you who know me,
You know I live in a ranching/farming community.
For those of you who dont, well I do.

How do I know this is a ranch/farm area?
Well, first off I have a neighbor right up the road who raises about 8,000 head of angus cattle,
There is another guy right up the road who owns and runs a dairy farm,
and about a mile up the road is a hog farm.

my neighbor back behind me raises sheep,
pretty soon here i suspect hell be doing a drive, and the road will have about 10,000 head of sheep down main street,
and there will be the stragglers who meander down into the front yard to nibble on whats left of my lawn.

Ahh, the joys of living in this area,
cowboys, trucks, guns, cowboys...
where teh men are men, and the women...
well, i think a few of them are men as well.

Anyways,
living in this community, I hapen to run my own small time operation as well.

I raise goats, and fowl.
Geese, chickens, ducks,
yeah you get the idea.

Not sure which is worse though,
the geese or the chickens.

the geese are loud, obnoxious messy and destructive.
I have craters in my front yard from them digging for bugs, and the whole area has landmines of goose droppings, waiting for the unsuspecting victem to step in one
and let loose the stream of curses.

the one who is my personal gard goose is an attention whore.

If I go out to do my daily chores,
he follows me around, honking, making noise and demanding i pet him.
I walk up the driveway, he follows me,
I try and walk the dogs, he follows me.
He comes when I call, and stays put.
and no i did not train him, this is something he just started doing one day.
I think I should get him a collar and a lead.

and the chickens,
ahh yes, mainly the roosters,
full of testosterone and attitude.
I go in to feed them, they begin chasing me around the coop,
not sure if they are telling me " hey hurry it up already, we are hungry!"
or if they are saying
" hey lady, we need more hens, these we have now aint putting out, we need to get LAID!!"

not sure which one is the bigger PITA.

I do know onf one pest though,
those damned racoons!
UNGH!
I swear, i am gonna kill every damned last one of em.

they sneak intot he garage, eat all the feed, crap in whatever is left,
and leave me to dispose of the tainted food,
and replace it.
damned racoons.
Think im gonna hire out one of the local "women" to come and deal with them,
beter them than me.

i'm writing this because i'll get some input and maybe i'll understand better.i just don't get society anymore.i'm better offline then on but i know this stuff goes on anyways what is going on today?there are late teens early twenties some a little older throwing themselves at guys my age.offering to show parts of their bodies.and guys about the same ages as before mentioned that are chasing women my age asking them for cybersex and showing the ladies their private parts when the women don't ask to see it. what the hell is going on?i remember when young people thought differently. when the thought of sex with someone old was disquesting.they thought 30 was old.men my age were considered dirty old men.the thought of me at the young age of having sex or trying to have sex with a 40 somthing year old woman was just gross.what changed and how the hell did it? i don't know.could somone please explain it to me.i have daughters that surf the web. are they approached online by guys wanting cybersex? i was talking to a woman i went to school with tonite and the subject came up and she told me it happens all the time with her.where is self respect both sexes.why are women being harrassed by these guys.why are women so young wanting to show their stuff to " old guys" like me.i think there is something wrong with society when this stuff is ok to go on.so am i just getting old or is there something wrong with this picture.and no i'm not gay and yes i like to see nude women just the ones around my age or a little older.please enlighten me because i just don't get it.

this is an update to the friend (erica) who was hurt while riding with my friend her boyfriend on a harley that crashed.she is going to live and make a good recovery.how much isn't sure right now but she will be coming back to the BUFFALO NY area soon or is already back.the family has asked that for the time being that we give them some privacy while she recovers.we all agreed with that.but it looks like she will be ok.how she is trumatised from the accident and the death of dundee is remained to be seen.the family had to tell her about his death.we don't know how she reacted to the news but i'm sure it wasn't good.i don't think she will ever get on a motorcycle again.i pray for her every day.it has taken to this date to come back and reread what i had posted and all the words of support. i would like to thank everyone again for those words of support.it has helped alot.since then two other friends a husband and wife were riding down in cooks forest in western pa when someone stopped quickly in front of them so they had to lay the harley down because they had nowhere to go.both were hurt but both lived and came home with not serious but still not the best injuries.the wife had a messed up leg and bruises and the husband got some broken ribs,a broken leg and bruises too.they are recovering but ask for some privacy while they heal.there is alot of people here a little leary to ride.i don't blame them.some have given up riding the rest of the year.once again i don't blame them.me i'll keep riding the rest of the riding season.it does not bother me because i have been dead and been brought back by some awsome emts and hospital staff.so i have been there,done that and got the t shirt.yes i'm crazy but you only live once so why not enjoy the ride.like i said before i ride with the bigdogs and i'm still telling the devil to go F... himself.guess i'll never change.

Yesterday I was hanging out in the chatroom, jokin, laughing, and just in general havin a blast.

I noticed my cat Rebel hanging out next to me, digging underneath the couch like he had lost a toy or something.

I thought nothing of it, and just continued on along my merry way.

All of a sudden somthing caught my eye,
I looked down and rebel had a mouse in his mouth... good kitty, earning his keep.

Then he let it go and HOLYMARYMOTHEROFGOD!!
that lil fucker ran up my pant leg.!!!

I reached down and grabbed it through my pant leg.
I stood up and started stomping my foot yelling OUT OUT OUT GET OUT!!
then it dawned on me...
It might help get him out a lil quicker if i LET GO OF THE MOUSE!!

then I had aanother bright idea,
lets go outside and ttry this, minus holding the mouse in place!

So I went on the front porch, and decided I was just gonna drop my drawers to get him out of there.

And that lil bugger ran out and right over into the corner.

I grabbed my jeans, put them back on,
and the whole time I never noticed my mom, my uncle and my 4 daughters were standing there watching me.

I didn't realize it until I heard the gales of laughter, and I looked up and saw my 3 oldest ones trying to hold onto each other for support, their faces were bright red and they were giggling like they had just found a plan to take over the world and get away with it.

I have come to the conclusion, that I am still not freaked out by mice or rodents of any sort, unles they run up my pant leg!