Married And Flirting Chat

Go Back   Married And Flirting Chat > Married And Flirting Chat Forums > Jokes, Stories & Games

Jokes, Stories & Games Have a good joke to tell or a story to share. How about a game to play, Post it here and share it with us.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-30-2013, 10:16 PM   #1
Shawn
Forum Surfer
 
Shawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Greatest place on earth
Age: 46
Posts: 24,992
Thanks: 7,602
Thanked 17,573 Times in 9,202 Posts
Blog Entries: 58
Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like
Default The Difference between Porn and Real Sex

For your Educational Purposes ... feel free to discuss (I will grab my popcorn ... they did not use that one)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q64hTNEj6KQ
__________________
My Life is just a bunch of "It seemed like a good idea at the time" strung together.
Shawn is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Shawn For This Useful Post:
FlirtyGirl1 (07-31-2013), gabrielle22 (07-31-2013), Ivan (07-31-2013)
Old 07-30-2013, 10:21 PM   #2
Pixie~Dust
Flirting God
I Love It Here
 
Pixie~Dust's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Age: 44
Posts: 13,966
Thanks: 4,758
Thanked 5,642 Times in 4,281 Posts
Blog Entries: 11
Pixie~Dust Is God Like Pixie~Dust Is God Like Pixie~Dust Is God Like Pixie~Dust Is God Like Pixie~Dust Is God Like Pixie~Dust Is God Like Pixie~Dust Is God Like Pixie~Dust Is God Like Pixie~Dust Is God Like Pixie~Dust Is God Like Pixie~Dust Is God Like
Default

Only 6% squirt. Good lord I feel special
And 10% that swallow. Wow
How many people surveyed
Pixie~Dust is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Pixie~Dust For This Useful Post:
gabrielle22 (07-31-2013)
Old 07-30-2013, 10:53 PM   #3
disturbiagirl
💜PrincessHotLips💜
 
disturbiagirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: CastleBananaHammock
Age: 49
Posts: 30,961
Thanks: 9,444
Thanked 8,938 Times in 6,150 Posts
Blog Entries: 9
disturbiagirl Is God Like disturbiagirl Is God Like disturbiagirl Is God Like disturbiagirl Is God Like disturbiagirl Is God Like disturbiagirl Is God Like disturbiagirl Is God Like disturbiagirl Is God Like disturbiagirl Is God Like disturbiagirl Is God Like disturbiagirl Is God Like
Default

....omg I'll never look at a banana split the same again....EVER!!!
__________________

If we only have this moment, let's make it last
disturbiagirl is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to disturbiagirl For This Useful Post:
redcat (07-31-2013)
Old 07-30-2013, 10:57 PM   #4
daisyduck
***Beautiful disaster ***
 
daisyduck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Down south
Age: 37
Posts: 30,053
Thanks: 6,655
Thanked 6,121 Times in 4,878 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like
Default

I am not looking my eyes will burn
__________________
daisyduck is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 11:43 PM   #5
Newton
LastOneToPost
 
Newton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: In my chair
Age: 51
Posts: 2,445
Thanks: 261
Thanked 301 Times in 280 Posts
Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like
Default

The lighting and camera angles.
Newton is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2013, 11:48 PM   #6
Siv7
Donator
 
Siv7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: 🌲 Northwest 🌲
Age: 52
Posts: 6,351
Thanks: 938
Thanked 940 Times in 781 Posts
Siv7 Is God Like Siv7 Is God Like Siv7 Is God Like Siv7 Is God Like Siv7 Is God Like Siv7 Is God Like Siv7 Is God Like Siv7 Is God Like Siv7 Is God Like Siv7 Is God Like Siv7 Is God Like
Default

Oh geez. the banana , the pancake, I will never lose those images.. Although the statistics were interesting to say the least...
__________________








Siv7 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Siv7 For This Useful Post:
1zor (07-31-2013), Ivan (07-31-2013)
Old 07-31-2013, 12:34 AM   #7
yoshimax0007
Super Flirt
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: The Pacific Northwest
Age: 36
Posts: 252
Thanks: 17
Thanked 54 Times in 45 Posts
yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute
Default

The music is what takes this video from good to great.

Well, that and the unnerving banana into chocolate jar sound effect.
yoshimax0007 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-2013, 12:38 AM   #8
FlirtyGirl1
Sweet Flirt
 
FlirtyGirl1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Texas Girl
Age: 46
Posts: 806
Thanks: 212
Thanked 256 Times in 182 Posts
FlirtyGirl1 Is God Like FlirtyGirl1 Is God Like FlirtyGirl1 Is God Like FlirtyGirl1 Is God Like FlirtyGirl1 Is God Like FlirtyGirl1 Is God Like FlirtyGirl1 Is God Like FlirtyGirl1 Is God Like FlirtyGirl1 Is God Like FlirtyGirl1 Is God Like FlirtyGirl1 Is God Like
Default

Gotta love the Brits and their straight talk. I actually was thinking I should show this to my son. I explained the difference when he got caught watching porn in the 8th grade but this was a good visual explanation.
FlirtyGirl1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-2013, 12:41 AM   #9
.Cotties
Flirting Guest
I Love It Here
 
.Cotties's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Age: 44
Posts: 37,266
Thanks: 1,413
Thanked 5,684 Times in 4,376 Posts
Blog Entries: 4
.Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like
Default

about 3 inches
.Cotties is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-2013, 12:46 AM   #10
hijiller
One foot on land, one on
 
hijiller's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: In a New York state of mind
Age: 43
Posts: 27,992
Thanks: 10,561
Thanked 12,142 Times in 8,306 Posts
Blog Entries: 3
hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like
Default

The film values are better with porn. In real sex, The tripod keeps falling over and the guy next door mowing his lawn must be psychic.
hijiller is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to hijiller For This Useful Post:
redwing (07-31-2013)
Old 07-31-2013, 12:49 AM   #11
catman301
Space for rent
I Love It Here
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Age: 50
Posts: 8,219
Thanks: 419
Thanked 858 Times in 669 Posts
Blog Entries: 4
catman301 Is God Like catman301 Is God Like catman301 Is God Like catman301 Is God Like catman301 Is God Like catman301 Is God Like catman301 Is God Like catman301 Is God Like catman301 Is God Like catman301 Is God Like catman301 Is God Like
Default

Wow,....probably ought to cut back on the fruit, veggies and chocolate.
catman301 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-2013, 01:10 AM   #12
yoshimax0007
Super Flirt
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: The Pacific Northwest
Age: 36
Posts: 252
Thanks: 17
Thanked 54 Times in 45 Posts
yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute yoshimax0007 has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by catman301 View Post
Wow,....probably ought to cut back on the fruit, veggies and chocolate.
Could've been worse. They could have done the demonstrations with raw pieces of meat.
yoshimax0007 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-2013, 02:03 AM   #13
redwing
Unique like everyone else
 
redwing's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Age: 44
Posts: 11,235
Thanks: 5,407
Thanked 4,319 Times in 3,246 Posts
Blog Entries: 13
redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like
Default

did anyone cringe when she cut that cucumber?
redwing is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to redwing For This Useful Post:
Kyhoncho. (07-31-2013), redcat (07-31-2013)
Old 07-31-2013, 02:31 AM   #14
Iceburn
Thread Terrorist
 
Iceburn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: In the land of Naughty Sneakies
Age: 59
Posts: 48,219
Thanks: 21,890
Thanked 25,170 Times in 19,927 Posts
Blog Entries: 16
Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Myeyessmile View Post
Only 6% squirt. Good lord I feel special
And 10% that swallow. Wow
How many people surveyed
Just one
__________________
~ A good man has few enemies. A ruthless man has none ~
Iceburn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-2013, 08:29 AM   #15
Shawn
Forum Surfer
 
Shawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Greatest place on earth
Age: 46
Posts: 24,992
Thanks: 7,602
Thanked 17,573 Times in 9,202 Posts
Blog Entries: 58
Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like Shawn Is God Like
Default

I did a little football dance when she said most guys blow a load within 3 minutes ... I know I could blast under 60 seconds.
__________________
My Life is just a bunch of "It seemed like a good idea at the time" strung together.
Shawn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-2013, 04:30 AM   #16
watugiveswatuget
our aim is to please
 
watugiveswatuget's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Perth, Australia
Age: 47
Posts: 3,858
Thanks: 321
Thanked 897 Times in 775 Posts
watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like
Default

Love the two sausages in the threesome. Touching cocks.....eeeeew!! Lol
__________________
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.
watugiveswatuget is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2013, 01:47 PM   #17
ringaroses
Being Me
 
ringaroses's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: in your fantasy
Age: 57
Posts: 12,858
Thanks: 11,040
Thanked 7,587 Times in 5,669 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like
Default

The Pizza man is not a pimply geek
__________________
.There are a lot of judgemental people in the world, and I think all those people are worthless dirtballs.
ringaroses is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2013, 01:53 PM   #18
Iceburn
Thread Terrorist
 
Iceburn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: In the land of Naughty Sneakies
Age: 59
Posts: 48,219
Thanks: 21,890
Thanked 25,170 Times in 19,927 Posts
Blog Entries: 16
Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like
Default

Those fckers get paid for it!
__________________
~ A good man has few enemies. A ruthless man has none ~
Iceburn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2013, 01:58 PM   #19
wayneypoo
its!ok ill shoot the guy.
 
wayneypoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Seek and you will find
Age: 52
Posts: 6,174
Thanks: 877
Thanked 1,808 Times in 1,364 Posts
Blog Entries: 82
wayneypoo Is God Like wayneypoo Is God Like wayneypoo Is God Like wayneypoo Is God Like wayneypoo Is God Like wayneypoo Is God Like wayneypoo Is God Like wayneypoo Is God Like wayneypoo Is God Like wayneypoo Is God Like wayneypoo Is God Like
Default

we brits do tend to eat a lot?
__________________
no wonder bears hibernate for so long .
wayneypoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2013, 02:04 PM   #20
ringaroses
Being Me
 
ringaroses's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: in your fantasy
Age: 57
Posts: 12,858
Thanks: 11,040
Thanked 7,587 Times in 5,669 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like
Default

Wayney
__________________
.There are a lot of judgemental people in the world, and I think all those people are worthless dirtballs.
ringaroses is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2013, 02:31 PM   #21
Luna123
Locked up heart
 
Luna123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: UK
Age: 39
Posts: 5,067
Thanks: 2,352
Thanked 2,016 Times in 1,502 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
Luna123 Is God Like Luna123 Is God Like Luna123 Is God Like Luna123 Is God Like Luna123 Is God Like Luna123 Is God Like Luna123 Is God Like Luna123 Is God Like Luna123 Is God Like Luna123 Is God Like Luna123 Is God Like
Default

the story lines... tan lines.. just lines in general i dunno its been a while since I have watched Porn and two weeks since sex.. even though that was some of the best sex ever.. oh now gone off on a tangent .. sorry
__________________
No more love to purchase .. I have invested in myself.. You know nothing about me.. Keep opinions to yourself
Luna123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2013, 02:45 PM   #22
Iceburn
Thread Terrorist
 
Iceburn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: In the land of Naughty Sneakies
Age: 59
Posts: 48,219
Thanks: 21,890
Thanked 25,170 Times in 19,927 Posts
Blog Entries: 16
Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Luna123 View Post
the story lines... tan lines.. just lines in general i dunno its been a while since I have watched Porn and two weeks since sex.. even though that was some of the best sex ever.. oh now gone off on a tangent .. sorry
Not at all!..please!..continue
__________________
~ A good man has few enemies. A ruthless man has none ~
Iceburn is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Iceburn For This Useful Post:
Luna123 (12-05-2013)
Old 12-07-2013, 02:54 AM   #23
redwing
Unique like everyone else
 
redwing's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Age: 44
Posts: 11,235
Thanks: 5,407
Thanked 4,319 Times in 3,246 Posts
Blog Entries: 13
redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like redwing Is God Like
Default

there's a difference? : why?
redwing is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2013, 08:15 PM   #24
jdavesun
Super Flirt
 
jdavesun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Upstate NY
Age: 58
Posts: 201
Thanks: 10
Thanked 36 Times in 31 Posts
jdavesun has a reputation beyond repute jdavesun has a reputation beyond repute jdavesun has a reputation beyond repute jdavesun has a reputation beyond repute jdavesun has a reputation beyond repute jdavesun has a reputation beyond repute jdavesun has a reputation beyond repute jdavesun has a reputation beyond repute jdavesun has a reputation beyond repute jdavesun has a reputation beyond repute jdavesun has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Real sex doesn't involve five guys standing around holding mikes and cameras and cables ... well, at least in MY experience
__________________
I've tried to keep an open mind, but my brain kept falling out.
jdavesun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-25-2014, 07:27 AM   #25
watugiveswatuget
our aim is to please
 
watugiveswatuget's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Perth, Australia
Age: 47
Posts: 3,858
Thanks: 321
Thanked 897 Times in 775 Posts
watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like watugiveswatuget Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by jdavesun View Post
Real sex doesn't involve five guys standing around holding mikes and cameras and cables ... well, at least in MY experience
shit i wondered what that was about!
__________________
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.
watugiveswatuget is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:43 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.