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Old 01-21-2006, 06:29 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ffox1
SPARE: Please give me the address for the oe NEW ENGLAND HOTTIES. I suppose it's on some ski slope in Vermont or New Hampshire? Do you have an address with sauna and jacussi as well?
I would love to, ffox, but sales and distribution is Barks' responsibility -- I am just the tester, packer, and shipper
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Old 01-21-2006, 07:54 PM   #27
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You did say shipper? right?
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Old 01-22-2006, 07:29 AM   #28
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Default Tester, Packer, shipper

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Originally Posted by spare_change
I would love to, ffox, but sales and distribution is Barks' responsibility -- I am just the tester, packer, and shipper
That dont leave much for me then does it!
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Old 01-22-2006, 08:31 AM   #29
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Originally Posted by Zifnab
Well from what I have seen that is most of the ones IN Michigan.
You think most of the Michigan ladies are short and chubby? And I thought I was the only one....good to hear I'm not alone
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Old 01-22-2006, 08:34 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by spare_change
Sorry, everybody -- but the items listed are still in product testing! So far, I've only gotten thru the hot stuff from three states -- Page 5 is next!! Can't wait to test those chubby ones from Michigan.

Our product testing is very exhaustive (and exhausting). We carefully check the drive train, verify that all the accessories are working, and thoroughly test the suspension system.

We also offer our favored clients an additional service -- if you are considering buying a used model, we will be happy to check it to make sure it operates properly.
Well as one of the Chubbies from Michigan....I can say that my accessories are working very well, but I do have a slight problem with my suspension
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Old 01-22-2006, 01:02 PM   #31
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Default Problems with your suspension

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Originally Posted by marycat
Well as one of the Chubbies from Michigan....I can say that my accessories are working very well, but I do have a slight problem with my suspension
Perhaps you would like to bring in into the garage one day next week, and with some right lubrication aimed deep into the nipple adjuster, the movement will become more supple. We can off course take a test ride to see how it handles, too see if its more smoother. When you bring it in ask for Mr Ferker, hes our suspension specialist.
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Old 01-22-2006, 04:06 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spare_change
I would love to, ffox, but sales and distribution is Barks' responsibility -- I am just the tester, packer, and shipper
SPARE ...WHo is in charge of mechanics and technical support? Do you have a Service Support Division as well? I am interested in those divisions, personally.
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Old 01-22-2006, 07:08 PM   #33
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I thought Dave had that?
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Old 01-23-2006, 04:18 AM   #34
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Default Thankyou for your support

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I thought Dave had that?
He dont want my oily rag
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Old 01-23-2006, 05:05 AM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Norfolkdave
Perhaps you would like to bring in into the garage one day next week, and with some right lubrication aimed deep into the nipple adjuster, the movement will become more supple. We can off course take a test ride to see how it handles, too see if its more smoother. When you bring it in ask for Mr Ferker, hes our suspension specialist.

oh my dave are you good at the nipple adjustments ?
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Old 01-23-2006, 05:11 AM   #36
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Default Nipple adjustment

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Originally Posted by tropicannauk
oh my dave are you good at the nipple adjustments ?
Oh yes Mr Ferker has specialist equipment that can hold the nipple in place whilst the springs are adjusted with a fine tool. In the hands of our specialist the took can ease just the right amount of lubrication to the designated area without over spilling, then with pressure its injection rate literally lubricates sufficently to stop stiffness.
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:36 AM   #37
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Dear Spare

As a favored client I'm interested in a trade in. I've had her only a few years. A few too many miles on the clock that I can't turn back. The front ends alright but the rear bumpers got a few dents in it. She also ran into some kids with the head lights so they need some work. The lubricants are a bit old, I can barely get the dip stick in her anymore. If you don't take her I'll be stuck with her until she breaks down. I'd like a tan 1980 sports model to feel young again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by spare_change
Sorry, everybody -- but the items listed are still in product testing! So far, I've only gotten thru the hot stuff from three states -- Page 5 is next!! Can't wait to test those chubby ones from Michigan.

Our product testing is very exhaustive (and exhausting). We carefully check the drive train, verify that all the accessories are working, and thoroughly test the suspension system.

We also offer our favored clients an additional service -- if you are considering buying a used model, we will be happy to check it to make sure it operates properly.
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:43 AM   #38
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Default Something based on these lines perhaps

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cotties
Dear Spare

As a favored client I'm interested in a trade in. I've had her only a few years. A few too many miles on the clock that I can't turn back. The front ends alright but the rear bumpers got a few dents in it. She also ran into some kids with the head lights so they need some work. The lubricants are a bit old, I can barely get the dip stick in her anymore. If you don't take her I'll be stuck with her until she breaks down. I'd like a tan 1980 sports model to feel young again.
FERRARI
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Old 01-23-2006, 11:31 AM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cotties
Dear Spare

As a favored client I'm interested in a trade in. I've had her only a few years. A few too many miles on the clock that I can't turn back. The front ends alright but the rear bumpers got a few dents in it. She also ran into some kids with the head lights so they need some work. The lubricants are a bit old, I can barely get the dip stick in her anymore. If you don't take her I'll be stuck with her until she breaks down. I'd like a tan 1980 sports model to feel young again.
SPARE: I could do with a new sports model as well. Time to change. What could you suggest as an opportunity?
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Old 01-23-2006, 11:32 AM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cotties
Dear Spare

As a favored client I'm interested in a trade in. I've had her only a few years. A few too many miles on the clock that I can't turn back. The front ends alright but the rear bumpers got a few dents in it. She also ran into some kids with the head lights so they need some work. The lubricants are a bit old, I can barely get the dip stick in her anymore. If you don't take her I'll be stuck with her until she breaks down. I'd like a tan 1980 sports model to feel young again.
Dear Mr. Cotties -

You will be delighted to know that we have put on the waiting list for one of our 1980 models, tan with shock absorbing bumpers, both front and back, a fully adjustable rear suspension to maximize ride comfort, and firm front suspension for better handling. In addition, we have requested the more efficient racing lubricant serviced rear drive in order to enhance your driving experience.

However, we would be remiss if we did not inform you that most consumers, at your age and economic level, are less than pleased with the 1980 model over a long period of time. While they seem to be fine for occasional jaunts, when left in the garage for extended periods of time, they become cranky and hard to start. They tend to consume all your resources, while requiring significant maintenance hours spent rollerblading and club hopping. If we might be so bold as to suggest, you might be more comfortable with one of our 1970 models - though slightly more used, still in fine working condition with a true understanding of the value of a leisurely ride, as well as the ability to sprint when commanded. Typically,the 1970 version enjoys the trip more, appreciates the excitement of side trips off the beaten path, and provides a more complete experience for its owner.

As always, our clients have the final say, and we stand ready to support your final decision.
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Old 01-23-2006, 11:38 AM   #41
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Can I get on the waiting list to test drive the 90's models in a couple of years?
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Old 01-23-2006, 11:40 AM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ffox1
SPARE: I could do with a new sports model as well. Time to change. What could you suggest as an opportunity?
Mr. Ffox -

Thank you for your inquiry. When considering your request, it was important to select a model best suited to your lifestyle. We recognize that discerning clients such as yourself have test driven the latest in sports models, and while nice for short excursions, find that they require significantly more maintenance than older models. While the ability to get where one is headed quickly is a prime concern, you surely realize the value of a comfortable ride, well appointed surroundings, and the glamor and sophistication of an older model.

With this in mind, we have selected several 1965-1972 models, each with varying accoutrements, but all test driven and fine tuned to provide you the finest ride available today. We suggest that your investment in one of these true classics can only reap large returns for you, and provide you with quality service for the rest of your life.
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Old 01-23-2006, 11:43 AM   #43
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Originally Posted by Barkiss
Can I get on the waiting list to test drive the 90's models in a couple of years?
Barks --

As president of the company, you can come down and test drive ANY of the models available at any time. However, I must warn you that though the 1990 models will be coming on the market in the next 3-4 years, they are highly unsophisticated, poorly tuned, and only have a ruidmentary understanding of the value of a fine ride.
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Old 01-23-2006, 12:00 PM   #44
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Mr Spare
Dear Sir
We here in the UK can supply you with the finest oils for lubrication, it is based on fluent and clean depositries, not gritty, and performs well under the most harsh conditions. Despite the 90/10 thickness, it can be used effiently and doesnt melt in high temperatures. Our customers have been delighted with the constant supply and the product comes in easily managable containers. We can send you a sample for you to test, however you may notice that the clarity may slighty differurate this is only because of the shipping container. If we can be of service dont hesitate in ringing our bodyshop and asking for Mr Shaker.
Thanking you
Yours Sincerely
Mr Ferkin.
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Old 01-23-2006, 12:10 PM   #45
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Sounds intriguing Spare, but you have neglected an entire line of some of the finest on the market, that which you can find in Canada.
Built to withstand extreme weather conditions, erratic temperature changes, handle beautifully on the most rugged terrain, especially mountainous and rocky landscape, yet feature strong and sleek designs. Also come with state of the art heating systems, unsurpassed by any other manufacturer.
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Old 01-23-2006, 12:13 PM   #46
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However they have extremely high maintenance costs...
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Old 01-23-2006, 12:14 PM   #47
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However they have extremely high maintenance costs...
Our oils wouls of course lower some of the cost
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Old 01-23-2006, 12:29 PM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jazzy
Sounds intriguing Spare, but you have neglected an entire line of some of the finest on the market, that which you can find in Canada.
Built to withstand extreme weather conditions, erratic temperature changes, handle beautifully on the most rugged terrain, especially mountainous and rocky landscape, yet feature strong and sleek designs. Also come with state of the art heating systems, unsurpassed by any other manufacturer.
Ahhh, Jazzy -- you didn't realize that we save the Canadian models for the executives in the company. We wouldn't let such fine performance models get into the hands of mere common folk.
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Old 01-23-2006, 12:37 PM   #49
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Default Mere common folk

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Originally Posted by spare_change
Ahhh, Jazzy -- you didn't realize that we save the Canadian models for the executives in the company. We wouldn't let such fine performance models get into the hands of mere common folk.
Humbug.............Humbug.........Humbug
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Old 01-23-2006, 12:59 PM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marycat
Well as one of the Chubbies from Michigan....I can say that my accessories are working very well, but I do have a slight problem with my suspension
I will be the judge of that!!!
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