Married And Flirting Chat

Go Back   Married And Flirting Chat > Married And Flirting Chat Forums > Jokes, Stories & Games

Jokes, Stories & Games Have a good joke to tell or a story to share. How about a game to play, Post it here and share it with us.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 08-28-2008, 06:32 PM   #1
manitee
Flirting God
 
manitee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: in a land far far away
Age: 48
Posts: 1,028
Thanks: 126
Thanked 184 Times in 138 Posts
manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute
Default signs you are getting old....

this might have been posted before but what the hell...makes me feel young readin it


Not sure if this has been posted before, i hadn't seen it until today, quite amusing really


According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who
were kids in the 60's, 70's and early 80's probably shouldn't have
survived because first, we survived being born to mothers who smoked
and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese
dressing and didn't get tested for diabetes, our baby cots were covered
with brightly coloured lead-based paint, which was promptly chewed and
licked.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors or
cabinets and it was fine to play with pans. When we rode our bikes, we
wore no helmets, just flip-flops and fluorescent 'spokey dokey's' on our
wheels. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or airbags
-riding in the passenger seat was a treat. We drank water from the
garden hose and not from a bottle and it tasted the same.

We ate chips, bread and butter pudding and drank fizzy juice with sugar
in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside
playing.

We shared one drink with four friends, from one bottle or can and no
one actually died from this. We would spend hours building go-carts out
of scraps and then went top speed down the hill, only to find out we
forgot the brakes.

After running into stinging nettles a few times, we learned to solve
the problem. We would leave home in the morning and could play all day,
as long as we were back before it got dark. No one was able to reach us
and no one minded.

We did not have Play Stations or X-Boxes, no video games at all. No 99
channels on TV, no videotape movies, no surround sound, no mobile
phones, no personal computers, no DVDs, no Internet chat rooms.

We had friends - we went outside and found them. We played elastics and
Rounders, and sometimes that ball really hurt! We fell out of trees, got
cut, and broke bones but there were no lawsuits. We had full on
fistfights but no prosecution followed from other parents. We played
Knock-down-Ginger and were actually afraid of the owners catching us. We
walked to friends' homes. We also, believe it or not, WALKED to school;
we didn't rely on mummy or daddy to drive us to school, which was just
round the corner.

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls. We rode bikes in packs
of 7 and wore our coats by only the hood. The idea of a parent bailing
us out if we broke a law was unheard of...They actually sided with the
law. This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and
problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an
explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success
and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

And you're one of them. Congratulations! Pass this on to others who
have had the luck to grow as real kids, before lawyers and government
regulated our lives, for our own good.
For those of you who aren't old enough, thought you might like to read
about this. My friends, this is surprisingly frightening...and it might
put a smile on your face: The majority of students in universities today
were born in 1986...They are called youth.

They have never heard of We are the World, We are the children and the
Uptown Girl they know is by Westlife not Billy Joel. They have never
heard of Rick Astley, Bananarama, Nenah Cherry or Belinda Carlisle.
(Possibly not a bad thing of course....) For them, there has always been
only one Germany and one Vietnam.

AIDS has existed since they were born. CD's have existed since they
were born. Michael Jackson has always been white. To them John Travolta
has always been round in shape and they can't imagine how this fat guy
could be a god of dance. They believe that Charlie's Angels and Mission
Impossible are films from last year. They can never imagine life before
computers. They'll never have pretended to be the A Team, Red Hand Gang
or the Famous Five. They'll never have applied to be on Jim'll Fix It or
Why Don't You. They can't believe a black and white television ever
existed. And they will never understand how we could leave the house
without a mobile phone.

Now let's check if we're getting old...
1. You understand what was written above and you smiled.
2. You need to sleep more, usually until the afternoon, after a night
out.
3. Your friends are getting married/already married.
4. You are always surprised to see small children playing comfortably
with computers.
5. When you see teenagers with mobile phones, you shake your head.
6. You remember watching Dirty Den in EastEnders the first time around.
7. You meet your friends from time to time, talking about the good old
days, repeating again all the funny things you have experienced
together.
8. Having read this mail, you are thinking of forwarding it to some
other friends because you think they will like it too... Yes, you're
getting OLD!

Have a good day!!
manitee is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to manitee For This Useful Post:
cheerymissy_34 (08-28-2008), Krystal (08-28-2008), Missy38 (08-29-2008), msu (08-28-2008), redcat (08-28-2008)
Old 08-28-2008, 07:04 PM   #2
redcat
Forum Leader
 
redcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Currently NC
Age: 61
Posts: 34,133
Thanks: 19,087
Thanked 13,103 Times in 8,333 Posts
Blog Entries: 32
redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like
Default

Thanks, manitee. Good post!! For all of the technological advances we've had, they're not always the best for us, are they?

How do you play Knock-down-Ginger? Is bread and butter pudding like bread pudding here in the states?
__________________
redcat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2008, 07:09 PM   #3
manitee
Flirting God
 
manitee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: in a land far far away
Age: 48
Posts: 1,028
Thanks: 126
Thanked 184 Times in 138 Posts
manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute manitee has a reputation beyond repute
Default

bread and butter pudding is bread butter and sultanas ...beeeeeautiful...knock down ginger known as knock and run....you'd knock on a door and run away ....jeese happy memories
manitee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2008, 10:58 PM   #4
Krystal
Flirting Goddess
 
Krystal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NYC/LI
Age: 44
Posts: 5,333
Thanks: 1,530
Thanked 1,085 Times in 780 Posts
Krystal Is God Like Krystal Is God Like Krystal Is God Like Krystal Is God Like Krystal Is God Like Krystal Is God Like Krystal Is God Like Krystal Is God Like Krystal Is God Like Krystal Is God Like Krystal Is God Like
Default

We always drank water from the hose....it was never an issue unless the sun was shining on it all day and it was burning hot, LOL.
Krystal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2008, 11:02 PM   #5
cheerymissy_34
Until Next Time....
 
cheerymissy_34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: somewhere out there....
Age: 44
Posts: 2,316
Thanks: 167
Thanked 103 Times in 78 Posts
Blog Entries: 6
cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute
Default

We would leave home in the morning and could play all day,
as long as we were back before it got dark. No one was able to reach us
and no one minded.

this was soooooo me....we would leave early in the morning and not get back till dark only returning home if we got hungry or thirsty
__________________
Life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets,so love the people who treat you right,forget about the ones who dont .
cheerymissy_34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2008, 11:05 PM   #6
msu
enjoying today....
 
msu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Age: 50
Posts: 23,178
Thanks: 9,450
Thanked 6,389 Times in 5,366 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like
Default

We'd roam in the woods, only worried about snakes and poison ivy......
We'd get a thrill catching lightning bugs.....
We unplugged everything in the house when a thunderstorm was coming.....
....and yes, many a chug of water came from the "green rubber snake".
msu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2008, 11:07 PM   #7
cheerymissy_34
Until Next Time....
 
cheerymissy_34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: somewhere out there....
Age: 44
Posts: 2,316
Thanks: 167
Thanked 103 Times in 78 Posts
Blog Entries: 6
cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute cheerymissy_34 has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Krystal View Post
We always drank water from the hose....it was never an issue unless the sun was shining on it all day and it was burning hot, LOL.

and then you would also get that wonderful plastic taste
__________________
Life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets,so love the people who treat you right,forget about the ones who dont .
cheerymissy_34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2008, 07:08 AM   #8
sweetnspicy
flirting goddess
 
sweetnspicy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Age: 47
Posts: 2,247
Thanks: 192
Thanked 207 Times in 192 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute
Default

when you cant remember your name
__________________
sweetnspicy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2008, 07:32 AM   #9
rj1002
Flirting God
 
rj1002's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Los Angeles - San Fernando Valley
Age: 64
Posts: 1,630
Thanks: 155
Thanked 570 Times in 357 Posts
rj1002 Is God Like rj1002 Is God Like rj1002 Is God Like rj1002 Is God Like rj1002 Is God Like rj1002 Is God Like rj1002 Is God Like rj1002 Is God Like rj1002 Is God Like rj1002 Is God Like rj1002 Is God Like
Default

When we were out on a hot day, we might take salt tablets to help keep from being dehydrated. Oh - and we drank water because we were thirsty, not to help keep us hydrated.
rj1002 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2008, 08:26 AM   #10
yaser
Flirting God
 
yaser's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Age: 72
Posts: 40,081
Thanks: 4
Thanked 1,467 Times in 1,421 Posts
yaser Is God Like yaser Is God Like yaser Is God Like yaser Is God Like yaser Is God Like yaser Is God Like yaser Is God Like yaser Is God Like yaser Is God Like yaser Is God Like yaser Is God Like
Default

Forget masturbating...
__________________

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
yaser is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2008, 08:48 AM   #11
UltimateNaneki
BBW Sex Goddess
 
UltimateNaneki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: My heart and soul is in a small city called Jonquiere...I only wish my body was there too!
Age: 54
Posts: 18,316
Thanks: 113
Thanked 348 Times in 304 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
UltimateNaneki Is God Like UltimateNaneki Is God Like UltimateNaneki Is God Like UltimateNaneki Is God Like UltimateNaneki Is God Like UltimateNaneki Is God Like UltimateNaneki Is God Like UltimateNaneki Is God Like UltimateNaneki Is God Like UltimateNaneki Is God Like UltimateNaneki Is God Like
Default

after you give a passionate , you check to make sure your teeth are still there.
__________________
You say you love me
--- Just as I am! ---
UltimateNaneki is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2008, 09:27 AM   #12
gina99
Flirting God
 
gina99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: ohio
Age: 52
Posts: 506
Thanks: 1
Thanked 53 Times in 41 Posts
gina99 has a reputation beyond repute gina99 has a reputation beyond repute gina99 has a reputation beyond repute gina99 has a reputation beyond repute gina99 has a reputation beyond repute gina99 has a reputation beyond repute gina99 has a reputation beyond repute gina99 has a reputation beyond repute gina99 has a reputation beyond repute gina99 has a reputation beyond repute gina99 has a reputation beyond repute
Default

When you start sounding like your mother.
gina99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2008, 09:33 AM   #13
upstr84u
Flirting God
 
upstr84u's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: eastcoast
Age: 50
Posts: 4,602
Thanks: 12
Thanked 369 Times in 321 Posts
upstr84u Is God Like upstr84u Is God Like upstr84u Is God Like upstr84u Is God Like upstr84u Is God Like upstr84u Is God Like upstr84u Is God Like upstr84u Is God Like upstr84u Is God Like upstr84u Is God Like upstr84u Is God Like
Default

when you cut he cheese and your eyes start to water -
but you are just to dam lazy to get up and move -
might be getting to old
__________________
King of Lawn Darts
upstr84u is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2008, 06:28 AM   #14
sweetnspicy
flirting goddess
 
sweetnspicy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Age: 47
Posts: 2,247
Thanks: 192
Thanked 207 Times in 192 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute
Default

your teeth start falling out
__________________
sweetnspicy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2008, 06:29 PM   #15
sweetnspicy
flirting goddess
 
sweetnspicy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Age: 47
Posts: 2,247
Thanks: 192
Thanked 207 Times in 192 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute sweetnspicy has a reputation beyond repute
Default

when you forget where you left your teeth and glasses!!!!!
__________________
sweetnspicy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2008, 07:02 PM   #16
dixiechik
Can you see me now?
 
dixiechik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Where peaches grow and the confederate flag flows
Age: 47
Posts: 22,852
Thanks: 6,758
Thanked 8,348 Times in 5,371 Posts
dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like
Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by UltimateNaneki View Post
after you give a passionate , you check to make sure your teeth are still there.
Now that's just funny as hell Ultimate!!!! LMFAO
__________________

If I offend you cry me a river, I'll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears while munching on chips and working on my tan.
dixiechik is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2008, 07:07 PM   #17
1sxymama
Flirting God
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,877
Thanks: 120
Thanked 167 Times in 148 Posts
1sxymama has disabled reputation
Default

you forget to go to work
__________________
1sxymama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2008, 07:10 PM   #18
fourisit
Two years...Really?!?!
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Age: 41
Posts: 8,300
Thanks: 1,779
Thanked 1,315 Times in 987 Posts
Blog Entries: 7
fourisit Is God Like fourisit Is God Like fourisit Is God Like fourisit Is God Like fourisit Is God Like fourisit Is God Like fourisit Is God Like fourisit Is God Like fourisit Is God Like fourisit Is God Like fourisit Is God Like
Default

When you actually look forward to bed to sleep
__________________
i was that girl who saw your flaws, but valued them just as much as your strengths.

fourisit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2016, 05:00 PM   #19
RisingSun
IT'S FEELIN LIKE FALL!!
 
RisingSun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: My alternate Reality
Age: 65
Posts: 16,990
Thanks: 4,487
Thanked 2,583 Times in 2,383 Posts
RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like
Default

I have an amazing BS meter
__________________


" Life can only be understood Backwards but must be lived Forward"
RisingSun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2016, 05:11 PM   #20
redcat
Forum Leader
 
redcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Currently NC
Age: 61
Posts: 34,133
Thanks: 19,087
Thanked 13,103 Times in 8,333 Posts
Blog Entries: 32
redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like
Default

When you hear more Snap, Crackle and Pop from your joints than your breakfast cereal.
__________________
redcat is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to redcat For This Useful Post:
bryan3636 (07-23-2016), RisingSun (07-23-2016)
Old 07-23-2016, 05:12 PM   #21
Arcon
Arcon Hood, King of Post
 
Arcon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Age: 42
Posts: 4,534
Thanks: 282
Thanked 805 Times in 709 Posts
Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like
Default

When ylu are finally able to say..."I remember when...."
Arcon is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Arcon For This Useful Post:
redcat (07-23-2016)
Old 07-23-2016, 11:48 PM   #22
artemis
irretrievable
 
artemis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: California
Age: 42
Posts: 25,580
Thanks: 13,401
Thanked 11,003 Times in 8,002 Posts
Blog Entries: 15
artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arcon View Post
When ylu are finally able to say..."I remember when...."
singing sha la la la la la la la la... my brown-eyed girl!
__________________
Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change ~ Stephen Hawking

artemis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2016, 11:49 PM   #23
Arcon
Arcon Hood, King of Post
 
Arcon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Age: 42
Posts: 4,534
Thanks: 282
Thanked 805 Times in 709 Posts
Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like
Default

When you realize you no longer have it
Arcon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2016, 11:51 PM   #24
artemis
irretrievable
 
artemis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: California
Age: 42
Posts: 25,580
Thanks: 13,401
Thanked 11,003 Times in 8,002 Posts
Blog Entries: 15
artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like
Default

When boobs start obeying laws of gravity
__________________
Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change ~ Stephen Hawking

artemis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2016, 11:52 PM   #25
Awake My Soul
Sincere Smartass
 
Awake My Soul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: A little town just south of a big city
Age: 37
Posts: 1,733
Thanks: 651
Thanked 552 Times in 434 Posts
Awake My Soul Is God Like Awake My Soul Is God Like Awake My Soul Is God Like Awake My Soul Is God Like Awake My Soul Is God Like Awake My Soul Is God Like Awake My Soul Is God Like Awake My Soul Is God Like Awake My Soul Is God Like Awake My Soul Is God Like Awake My Soul Is God Like
Default

When you find yourself in a forum such as this.
__________________
"Get right to the heart of matters, it's the heart that matters more." - Adam Duritz
Awake My Soul is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:55 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.