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Everyday Life For Married Couples A forum for couples to chat about your everyday married life. This would be a good place for women and men to get to know eachother.

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Old 04-27-2011, 09:52 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by ryteone View Post
I never found any miracle cure or insight for healing - just time. We decided to work it out, and we are better now than we ever used to be. However, whenever someone told me that I needed to forgive and move on, or "you two could be closer after this" I wanted to reach across and choke them out.

It simply just took time; I was tired of feeling angry and vengeful. Not to say that that I'm completely over it (it was just last year). I do wonder sometimes if she's really where she says she is. I feel that her actions speak for themselves - she's way more into "us" than she used to be. That's the yardstick I measure our trust with. So yeah, I do trust her, and when I get those thoughts in my head I just don't let them take over, cuz it can make you crazy.
Very similar here, ryteone. He cheated 3 times that I know of, over a number of years. Time and determining to work it out has made us stronger.

I remember those nagging feelings of "is he where he said he is" and you're right. You have to put them out of your head. Eventually, the trust is restored. Hang in there and good luck.
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Old 04-27-2011, 10:02 PM   #27
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No, and I doubt he ever would.
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Old 04-29-2011, 07:29 AM   #28
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Well, here's my story. When marriage to her was starting to become unbearable, for some unknown reason she indirectly accused me of cheating. And I had not been cheating, and still haven't. (Although some people call this site cheating.) Well, anyway, she went about telling her family that I had an affair, and some in my family. And I guess that was a very big piece of straw that affected our marriage.

Years later now, i sometimes wonder about her fidelity. You know, things like coming home a little later from wherever she went more often; getting a cell phone call and stepping outside to answer it; or just giving me a weird look and not answering it.

But I don't know for sure. I have a very good friend who is a private investigator and who does a lot of infideity cases, but I won't seek his services, yet. Still thinking about it.
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Old 04-29-2011, 09:08 AM   #29
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Yes, very early, within the first year of our marriage. She told me many years later and was very remorseful. I held her and told her it was okay.
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Old 04-29-2011, 05:01 PM   #30
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Old 04-29-2011, 05:39 PM   #31
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Sirius-ly, you sure are in tune to possible signs of cheating.

For those of us who've been cheated on, were the signs obvious tou you? Especially the first time for those of us who've experienced it more than once.

Hi sammysam, thanks for sharing.

To me, the signs were not obvious. Not until the weekend I caught her.
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Old 05-03-2011, 06:49 PM   #32
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no we dont think cheat is real it don't work with a open marriage
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Old 05-03-2011, 06:55 PM   #33
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still not convinced he hasn't .... but as they say time will tell....
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Old 05-03-2011, 06:58 PM   #34
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Yes I have. What if I said it was with her best friend. While her husband was passed out downstairs and my wife passed out up stairs. Did not get caught.. not the smartest thing to do.
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Old 05-03-2011, 06:59 PM   #35
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And to answer the question of this thread.. I am almost positive she has.
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Old 05-03-2011, 07:01 PM   #36
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And to answer the question of this thread.. I am almost positive she has.

how would you know..... or is it your guilt telling you she has ?????
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Old 05-03-2011, 07:03 PM   #37
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how would you know..... or is it your guilt telling you she has ?????
I thought she had before I did what I did. She was on a business trip. When she got home, she got a text that said "Missing you xoxo". So I was 98% sure. She said she just kissed the guys. But... xoxo??
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Old 05-03-2011, 07:04 PM   #38
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Well, here's my story. When marriage to her was starting to become unbearable, for some unknown reason she indirectly accused me of cheating. And I had not been cheating, and still haven't. (Although some people call this site cheating.) Well, anyway, she went about telling her family that I had an affair, and some in my family. And I guess that was a very big piece of straw that affected our marriage.

Years later now, i sometimes wonder about her fidelity. You know, things like coming home a little later from wherever she went more often; getting a cell phone call and stepping outside to answer it; or just giving me a weird look and not answering it.

But I don't know for sure. I have a very good friend who is a private investigator and who does a lot of infideity cases, but I won't seek his services, yet. Still thinking about it.
I don't wish a cheating spouse on anyone. But, I myself have been accused of cheating and I've never cheated. I admit, I have met a couple of men and I chat. That makes me no angel, but I have yet to have sex with anyone.

More and more I have people tell me that those who accuse, may have some skeletons in the closet. Who knows how true that really is?
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Old 05-03-2011, 07:09 PM   #39
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I thought she had before I did what I did. She was on a business trip. When she got home, she got a text that said "Missing you xoxo". So I was 98% sure. She said she just kissed the guys. But... xoxo??
mmm differcult... i get text everyday saying missing you.... but then i have a large family and 9 brothers and sisters.. x
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Old 05-03-2011, 07:16 PM   #40
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lol.. I have 5 brothers and one sister. ..
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Old 05-03-2011, 07:18 PM   #41
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lol.. I have 5 brothers and one sister. ..
well there you go..you have you answer lol
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Old 05-03-2011, 08:15 PM   #42
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I don't know, but she is acting strange lately.
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Old 05-03-2011, 08:42 PM   #43
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Anyone out there whose spouse cheated on them and it was the cause of your marriage going down the tubes?

What was your reaction to the infidelity?

UPSET, BETRAYED, SAD.....EVERY HOUR AFTER A SLEU OF OTHER EMOTIONS

How did you handle it?

I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH OF SAY, SHE WANTS A DIVORCE NOW. WE AGREED TO LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE TO PAY DOWN SOME DEBT BEFORE WE FILE.

Have you reconciled?

NOT LIKELY, OUR MARRIAGE WAS NOT PERFECT BUT SLEEPING WITH ANOTHER MAN WHO IS MARRIED DID IF FOR ME. NOT ONLY DID SHE ONLY THINK OF HERSELF SHE MAY END UP DISTRUBTING ONLY MARRIAGE BESIDES OURS. NOT COOL...SELFISH

Were you ever able to trust your spouse again?

I WILL NEED TO BECAUSE SHE IS THE MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN. STILL SORTING OUT HOW TO HANDLE THOSE EMOTIONS

My husband cheated on me twice. After the first time, which was horrific to find out, I told him if he ever did it again, our marriage is over. Four years later he cheated again. He's in therapy for a range of issues and I'm in the guest room and after the upheaval it caused, I'm enjoying my new freedom. We are not planning on divorce for a host of reasons and are friends in the house, but I do not feel like reconciling again.

Anyone else in a similar situation? Care to share?

- dani
I FEEL FOR YOU.......
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Old 05-03-2011, 10:40 PM   #44
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My wife has cheated on several times. And yes I have proof.
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Old 05-04-2011, 11:49 AM   #45
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Daniela


I havent been there so no advice.. Good luck with everything though..
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Old 05-05-2011, 10:36 PM   #46
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not that i know of...although i do have suspicion from a few years ago
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Old 05-05-2011, 10:50 PM   #47
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I was cheated on by my exwife and I don't know the reason why she did so I can't answer to that but as far as how I handled it and if we reconciled. Notice she is my EXwife. I'm sorry for what your going through.
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Old 05-05-2011, 10:56 PM   #48
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Old 05-05-2011, 10:59 PM   #49
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my wife never has, and i highly doubt she would. But is it so terrible that if she did, i wouldn't feel so guilty if i ever would.
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Old 05-05-2011, 11:01 PM   #50
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