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Old 07-24-2008, 11:07 AM   #1
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Default What makes a woman sexy?

Okay...some of you know that I have not had a wonderful marriage (like many of us)...my self esteem has been shattered by a husband that finds my looks "disgusting"...many of you have helped me through some of this but I am curious....how in the world do I get my sexiness back?!

Ladies:

What do you do to ensure you feel sexy? Any helpful hints for someone trying to find herself again?

Gentlemen:

What does a woman do that screams "sexy" to you? Is it her looks, attitude, or a little of both?

Thanks...you are all sooo awesome!!!!
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Old 07-24-2008, 11:21 AM   #2
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For me it's her personality, sense of humor and just the way she communicates with others. Looks help... but attractive women can be ugly!
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Old 07-24-2008, 11:24 AM   #3
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It comes from within.

I do have days when I don't feel sexy, usually when I'm bumming around.

I feel better if i have my hair and nails done and when I wear something cute.
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Old 07-24-2008, 11:38 AM   #4
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Quote:
Gentlemen:

What does a woman do that screams "sexy" to you? Is it her looks, attitude, or a little of both?
Given the choice I would definitely go with "attitude". The "confident but not cocky" is a big part of what makes a woman sexy I think. If your attitude can portray that you are comfortable with yourself, despite whatever flaws you think you have or you think that other people perceive, that's a big part of it. Having the attitude that you are comfortable with yourself to me makes people more fun to be around because they are not always getting caught up in what anyone else thinks about them or feeling the need to act a certain way to please others. That's definitely a turn on.

As far as the physical part of that goes.....it's still attitude. You don't have to have the skinniest butt or the biggest boobs on the block.....but if you're willing to throw on the thong and the skimpy top and show him the attitude that you want to please him and can do that confidently without letting any hang ups you have about your body get in the way?? To me, that is WAY sexier than having the Maxim Magazine Perfect Booty or the Perfect Pair of Puppies
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Old 07-24-2008, 11:41 AM   #5
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First off,
I want to tell you, I am sorry you are having problems.
Been there, done that, got that token, DO NOT want to redeem it.

For me, trying to get my self esteem back was a huge uphill battle.
I forced myself to hold my head up high.
I started finding the humor in small things and used that as my stepping stone.
I still kinda flinch before I show a picture of myself to anyone,
but I figure, if they don't like me, they don't have to look at me.
If they are interested in looks only, let them go date a supermodel.
I have yet to meet someone who is a real person that is happy with the way they look.
Raise your standards for yourself, be more confident, and the rest will fall into place.

Best of luck to you hon.
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Old 07-24-2008, 11:44 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tin_heart_gal View Post
First off,
I want to tell you, I am sorry you are having problems.
Been there, done that, got that token, DO NOT want to redeem it.

For me, trying to get my self esteem back was a huge uphill battle.
I forced myself to hold my head up high.
I started finding the humor in small things and used that as my stepping stone.
I still kinda flinch before I show a picture of myself to anyone,
but I figure, if they don't like me, they don't have to look at me.
If they are interested in looks only, let them go date a supermodel.
I have yet to meet someone who is a real person that is happy with the way they look.
Raise your standards for yourself, be more confident, and the rest will fall into place.

Best of luck to you hon.
Great attitude tin_heart_gal. Nice post!!
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Old 07-24-2008, 11:44 AM   #7
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Yeah... Hims pretty much nailed it... I am about as shallow as they come, not that looks are not important.. I mean if you are gonna go out in say..... baggy sweats.... thats usually not to sexy... a woman that cares what she looks like kind of goes along with the attitude thing, a woman that can carry herself well, maintain a conversation, have a backbone... thats the tri-fecta for me.
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Old 07-24-2008, 11:50 AM   #8
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I think the biggest thing is finding out that you like yourself...Focus on you accomplishments and not your failures...Find things that you are good at an accent yourself in them... Take what people say with a grain of salt both good and bad... If you take the good with to much value conversely you are inclined to accept the negative also...Find yourself in yourself

I am starting to lean more towards personality...I am Shallow Hal in some aspects but I have meet some great people on line that have beautiful personalities that have nullified my shallowness...I am working on myself

I love a woman with self confidence that allows looks nice...That is welling to take the time to take care of herslef..Hair and nails...Nice dressed with a great walk..Not over the top...
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Old 07-24-2008, 11:52 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by heartbroken_lonely_wife View Post
Okay...some of you know that I have not had a wonderful marriage (like many of us)...my self esteem has been shattered by a husband that finds my looks "disgusting"...many of you have helped me through some of this but I am curious....how in the world do I get my sexiness back?!

Ladies:

What do you do to ensure you feel sexy? Any helpful hints for someone trying to find herself again?

Gentlemen:

What does a woman do that screams "sexy" to you? Is it her looks, attitude, or a little of both?

Thanks...you are all sooo awesome!!!!

FIRST of all...........SHAME on your husband!!!!
I've known other men who have TORN their wives self esteem to shreds. My own brother in law PREFERS my sister overweight so NO OTHER GUY WILL EVEN LOOK AT HER!!!! It seems so selfish to me........like a way of holding on to what's theirs. Make the wife think no one ELSE would even LOOK at her. I think it says a LOT about his insecurities! (I don't know you or YOUR situation so I'm not judging.........just talking about similar situations that I've seen first hand)

As far as you reclaiming YOUR self esteem it's hard. I know for me when I was feeling worthless in my marriage I started thinking back..........
remembering that girl I was before "him".
I started to reclaim HER........and then I found myself again.
My hubby noticed the change too...........that was the "her" he was originally attracted too.
Maybe he forgot about her somewhere along the way too.....
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Old 07-24-2008, 12:37 PM   #10
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Sexy is attitude and that means self confidence. The best way for you to regain it isn't through someone else's eyes or standards it is through your own hopes and dreams. Sit down and make a list of all the things you "use" to want to do. We all have them from skydiving to going back to school to do something that makes YOU happy. As you start making time for YOU and taking pride in the fact that you are finally conquering some of the things you always wanted to do your attitude will change. Everyday get up and do your hair, makeup or just put something "pretty" on to go with the smile you must wear everywhere and tell yourself you look good! If you believe in you everyone around you will too.
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Old 07-24-2008, 03:18 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by flybabe View Post
FIRST of all...........SHAME on your husband!!!!
I've known other men who have TORN their wives self esteem to shreds. My own brother in law PREFERS my sister overweight so NO OTHER GUY WILL EVEN LOOK AT HER!!!! It seems so selfish to me........like a way of holding on to what's theirs. Make the wife think no one ELSE would even LOOK at her. I think it says a LOT about his insecurities! (I don't know you or YOUR situation so I'm not judging.........just talking about similar situations that I've seen first hand)

As far as you reclaiming YOUR self esteem it's hard. I know for me when I was feeling worthless in my marriage I started thinking back..........
remembering that girl I was before "him".
I started to reclaim HER........and then I found myself again.
My hubby noticed the change too...........that was the "her" he was originally attracted too.
Maybe he forgot about her somewhere along the way too.....
I have a friend whose husband complained about her being overweight bla bla bla!!!! So she took the initiative to lose weight work out and she lost 30 lbs. Now he complains that every guy wants to sleep with her and she is dressing to slutty yada yada yada. So if things do not change for her i think she is ready to call it quits. Funny thing is she was always attractive before and after losing weight. I had acquaintance that had met her and told me how attractive she was before losing weight. I think it is in the the attitude..

Heartbroken wife... Do not let your husband get you down!!! I guarantee that someone you have everyday contact with thinks your husband is a creep and if given the opportunity would like to sweep you off your feet and help you with your situation because he likes you and finds you attractive!!! So keep your eyes open for prince charming becuase he is waiting in the background to step up to the plate!!!!!!
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Old 07-24-2008, 03:19 PM   #12
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To me, confidence is what makes a woman sexy.
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Old 07-24-2008, 03:27 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by jimcr View Post
I have a friend whose husband complained about her being overweight bla bla bla!!!! So she took the initiative to lose weight work out and she lost 30 lbs. Now he complains that every guy wants to sleep with her and she is dressing to slutty yada yada yada. So if things do not change for her i think she is ready to call it quits. Funny thing is she was always attractive before and after losing weight. I had acquaintance that had met her and told me how attractive she was before losing weight. I think it is in the the attitude..

Heartbroken wife... Do not let your husband get you down!!! I guarantee that someone you have everyday contact with thinks your husband is a creep and if given the opportunity would like to sweep you off your feet and help you with your situation because he likes you and finds you attractive!!! So keep your eyes open for prince charming becuase he is waiting in the background to step up to the plate!!!!!!
I'll take the second problem any day of the week. LOL I love the idea of men staring at my wife, wishing they could have her.
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Old 07-24-2008, 03:30 PM   #14
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It is a combination of looks and attitude for me, but I have to say attitude can seriously increase or decrease your attractiveness. A confident woman that knows how to be sexy can be a five, but somehow look like an 8 or 9. A 10 who thinks she is not attractive and has no idea how to or no desire to please her man can become a 3 or 4 very quickly.
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Old 07-24-2008, 03:34 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by heartbroken_lonely_wife View Post
Okay...some of you know that I have not had a wonderful marriage (like many of us)...my self esteem has been shattered by a husband that finds my looks "disgusting"...many of you have helped me through some of this but I am curious....how in the world do I get my sexiness back?!

Ladies:

What do you do to ensure you feel sexy? Any helpful hints for someone trying to find herself again?
I still think your husband's an ass for the way he treats you, but I don't want to spend my time on him...I'd rather concentrate my attention on you

Think about a time in your life when you felt your best, try to go back there in your mind and capture that moment. Then apply it to your life now. Feeling sexy is a state of mind. You have to believe it yourself before anyone else will. Wear your favorite thong, blouse, shorts, high heeled sandals - whatever MAKES you feel sexy.

Somedays it's hard to feel sexy and those are the days I'll take extra steps to make sure that I am, whether or not I want the world to know it is a different matter. The aim here is to please yourself FIRST
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Old 07-24-2008, 03:38 PM   #16
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It is a combination of looks and attitude for me, but I have to say attitude can seriously increase or decrease your attractiveness. A confident woman that knows how to be sexy can be a five, but somehow look like an 8 or 9. A 10 who thinks she is not attractive and has no idea how to or no desire to please her man can become a 3 or 4 very quickly.

Well jimmy, I did not know there was a rating scale. I will have to find out where I rate on it. I have confidence and most assured attitude, but I might have to much attitued to really be rated properly.
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Old 07-24-2008, 03:39 PM   #17
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You know HLW, I have never had confidence until recently. I hit 40 and it was like wham, feel the best I have ever felt. I kick myself now for wasting a lot of years not feeling pretty or worthy. It comes from within', we are all beautiful and just bcoz we don't fit a mold does not mean otherwise.
If we all looked the same what a boring place this world would be. You are starting to feel better, I saw u lost weight, good for you, do it for yourself and no one else. Go get your hair done, do your nails, whatever it takes, but do it for u.
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Old 07-24-2008, 03:45 PM   #18
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Well jimmy, I did not know there was a rating scale. I will have to find out where I rate on it. I have confidence and most assured attitude, but I might have to much attitued to really be rated properly.
Well let's see...hmmmm...

Looks 10
Attitude 10

I think you're a perfect 10!
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Old 07-24-2008, 03:59 PM   #19
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Just be yourself... everyone here has said some wonderful things... and very heartfelt too...

You are an amazing person because of who your are in the inside... yes, the outside may need a little tuning up but it shouldn't matter to how sexy you are...

I have been there.. overweight and very self depreciating... I am still not 100% pleased with myself and I never will be.. but I am a fun person, I am slightly intelligent, I can keep a conversation flowing if need be, and I like to laugh and to make others smile... I have been told I am sexy because I am comfortable with others for the most part and because I am so totally myself around others...

so on that long not... be yourself... if you are happy with who you are, it will show...
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Old 07-24-2008, 04:03 PM   #20
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Women are sexy...because I am a man?
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Old 07-24-2008, 04:06 PM   #21
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...ok, their shape...the way they walk...I even like the eybrows and those little micro wrinkles in the skin at the very top of the butt crack...their silkiness...
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Old 07-24-2008, 04:12 PM   #22
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Women are sexy...because I am a man?

prove it!!!
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Old 07-24-2008, 04:13 PM   #23
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and in the mind of the beloved
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Old 07-24-2008, 04:24 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by Atrebla Rose View Post
prove it!!!
...how would you have me do that...
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Old 07-24-2008, 04:25 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by jimmy_love_fl View Post
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and in the mind of the beloved
DAMN NICE PITHY SUGAR HERE JIMMY...
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