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Everyday Life For Married Couples A forum for couples to chat about your everyday married life. This would be a good place for women and men to get to know eachother.

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Old 08-28-2008, 08:30 AM   #1
BreastWorshiper
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Default Joke of the day To cheer those that need it up

A man walks into a pub and says, "Give me three pints of Guinness, please." So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone.
He then orders three more and the bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold, so you can start with one and I'll bring you a fresh one as soon as you're low."
The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too and we're drinking together."
The bartender thinks it's a wonderful tradition and every week he sets up the guy's three beers as soon as he enters in the bar. Then one week, the man comes in and orders only two. He drinks them, then orders two more. The bartender sadly says, "Knowing your tradition, I'd just like to just say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."
The man replies, "Oh, my brothers are fine - I just quit drinking."



Dedicated to ScooberTina
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Old 08-28-2008, 09:50 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BreastWorshiper View Post
The man replies, "Oh, my brothers are fine - I just quit drinking."

Dedicated to ScooberTina
And we all know that Scoob is no quitter.
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Old 08-28-2008, 12:11 PM   #3
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LMAO........so scoob drinks 3 beer at a time??
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Old 10-05-2014, 10:39 PM   #4
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Super Bowl


John received a free ticket to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately. John's seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the stadium. He noticed an empty seat 10 rows up from the 50-yard line. He decides to make his way to the empty seat. As he sits down he asks the man next to him if anyone is sitting there. The man told him no, it was empty. John is very excited to have a seat like this at a Super Bowl and asks why in the world no one is using it? The man replied that it was his wife's seat but she passed away. He said this was the first Super Bowl that they have not attended together since they were married in 1968. John said that it was really sad and asked if he couldn't find someone, a relative or a close friend to take the seat?

"No" replied the man, "They're at her funeral!"
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Old 03-17-2019, 09:14 PM   #5
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An engineer joke:

Definition of an engineer: somebody who makes precise guesswork based on unreliable data provided by people with questionable knowledge. Never wrong. Likes tables.
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Old 03-21-2019, 09:29 PM   #6
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One of these things is not like the others.

A frozen pizza, a bachelors degree in engineering, a doctorate in conceptual mathematics.

The pizza and the engineer can feed a family of four !
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Old 03-22-2019, 05:12 AM   #7
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What's the difference between a giraffe and a tractor?
One's got hydraulics and the other has high bollocks
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Old 03-26-2019, 02:27 PM   #8
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A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead
sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat
down, but lacks the nerve to talk to her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket
towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air,
and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in
place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards, they go to the
theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her
deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for
everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a
nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The
guy is amazed! Everything had been SO incredible! "You know, "he said,
"you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? "

"No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."

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Old 03-26-2019, 03:50 PM   #9
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That's a sweet joke.
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