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Old 11-10-2013, 11:29 AM   #51
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Originally Posted by Just A Girl View Post
It's interesting because it's not just women either. My hubs is ridiculously thin. The only time in our marriage he's been able to put on weight was when he was drinking wine like a beatnic poet.
People, even medical staff, have commented/asked if he has some sort of drug problem. No! He does not. Unless you count smoking weed, which I certainly don't.
But my point is that assumptions about people's lifestyles are often made by looking at them, regardless of your gender.
SO true.
My first guy was like that.
He weighed about 120 (5'8) on a heavy day and people would wonder if he was on something but he wasn't. (No weed or drinking either)
Eventually he did end up really sick but I don't think his weight had anything to do with it.

I swung the other direction with my spouse and he is an overweight taller guy.
He wanted to lose weight very badly so for many months I controlled everything that went into his mouth ~very strategically~ and he could not, emphasis on could not, lose weight beyond 5 lbs.
I was shocked...I had always assumed people who say they "don't each much" surely had to be eating more.
We dropped him to bare minimum and still the scale wouldn't budge.
I am convinced now, they may not be eating hardly anything at all.
When he resumed his normal patterns again, scale didn't move either.
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Old 11-10-2013, 11:31 AM   #52
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I used to be hung up on my weight in my twenties always trying to get down to a micromini size. I felt it defined me as a woman and made me more attractive. As I've matured I'm way more concerned about my health and feeling good than being a thin stick insect lol some women are genetically born thin and that's ok too but I've seen many bigger boned women or plus sized that are gorgeous! I'm happy that the media is now focusing on celebs that don't fit the thin stereotype and who are comfortable having curves. Be comfortable with who you are and Let your beauty shine. Beauty comes in so many shapes and forms.
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Old 11-10-2013, 12:55 PM   #53
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Originally Posted by madmax View Post
part of the problem is that people are different shapes in different countries
This is very true Italian and greek woman had no boobs or curves unless they were over 60. But Turkish,German and English women had curves
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Old 11-10-2013, 02:45 PM   #54
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It has taken me years and years to get past sizes and what the scale says is 'thin' .. Fact is .. Even at a size five I weigh much more than most size thirteens. It's how my body make is. I have to buy a larger size and have my jeans custom sized because I have thicker legs. I'm ok with that .. My butt and legs are honestly one of my favorite features. I work my ass off everyday to be a better version of ME. Personally I prefer muscular curves to thin. But that doesn't mean little miss size zero isn't perfect. I don't understand why we work so hard and worry so much about being someone else's standard of what's beautiful. I hope for nothing more for my daughter than to teach her to block out what society believes is beautiful and be her own kind of gorgeous.
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Old 11-10-2013, 02:49 PM   #55
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It has taken me years and years to get past sizes and what the scale says is 'thin' .. Fact is .. Even at a size five I weigh much more than most size thirteens. It's how my body make is. I have to buy a larger size and have my jeans custom sized because I have thicker legs. I'm ok with that .. My butt and legs are honestly one of my favorite features. I work my ass off everyday to be a better version of ME. Personally I prefer muscular curves to thin. But that doesn't mean little miss size zero isn't perfect. I don't understand why we work so hard and worry so much about being someone else's standard of what's beautiful. I hope for nothing more for my daughter than to teach her to block out what society believes is beautiful and be her own kind of gorgeous.
mmmmm love to check out those fav features of your,n
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Old 11-10-2013, 02:52 PM   #56
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My response was in no way directed at you.
This is just what happens ever single time a "weight" thread gets started whether it's something like this or the BBW thread.
It goes from supportive of women to a complete thrashing of women by women followed by a string of men who come in and proclaim their love of bigger women/disdain for smaller women (noted btw guys) and then inevitably I respond to the insults directed at Eating Disordered Anorexics (I am not ED but I have struggled with my image) and try to stop some hate then Jelly comes in and....well, that chapter is coming, I'm sure.
It's so frustrating.
I played nice so far .. Where's that real woman thread again?
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Old 11-10-2013, 02:58 PM   #57
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oh yea where is the real women?thread
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Old 11-10-2013, 03:31 PM   #58
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I'm loving this thread! Thanks Redcat!

Ladies, I can only speak for myself, but I don't care what size you are. What interests me is what kind of person are you and what's in your heart. Either we can be friends or we can't. I have loved women of all shapes and sizes. Maybe their body caught my eye, maybe it didn't. You can be sure that what was on the inside got my attention. And the inside affects how I see the outside. A super-model with a shitty attitude is not attractive to me. Someone who would not generally be considered attractive will be to me if I discover a heart of gold.

Let me turn the question around. How do you ladies see us guys? Do I have to be slim and trim? Do I have to be a body builder? To be honest, I have a spare tire around the middle. Is that going to cause you to pass me by and not talk to me? Just wondering.

Great thread, my friend Redcat. Thanks!

I am a size 12/14.. I am all woman.. curves, hips, boobs, and a waist... and if I go any smaller I would look anorexic.. my last boyfriend weighed in at about 300 pounds.. he is 6' tall but a very large man.. I met him at a camping event.. I loved his personality... that is what caught my attention.. he is just exactly what I thought I was looking for.. turned out.. he wasn't what my heart was looking for..

I have had my share of hot men in my life.. but the men who hold my attention are way more than sex appeal.. they have to make me think, they have to disagree with me from time to time.. they have to make me feel special without hanging on to my every move or action.. they have to be able to have a mind of their own and think on their own.. and then they have to be able to turn my body on as well as my mind.. I feel that when you connect on the level of mind and body.. that relationship is the most intense one you can ever have.. such a hot mixture... yes, there are a few men out there who have caught my attention.. and who I'd so be chasing after for more than a friendship if they were single..
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Old 11-10-2013, 03:43 PM   #59
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I 'eergasib' (spelling it backwards so you have to think) with you. (<- winky to make you feel special...something I thought up all on my own)

Few...I think I nailed some of the bullet points.

Regarding a size of a woman, to me it has always been about how comfortable you (the woman) is with their body. I've been with women of all sizes and there is nothing more annoying than hearing complaints about 'Oh, I can't have desert' or 'I'm feeling chunky', etc...turn off for me. If you are comfortable with yourself and your body, it is almost guaranteed you're a dynamo in bed because you don't have the 'usual' hangups
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Old 11-10-2013, 04:04 PM   #60
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I 'eergasib' (spelling it backwards so you have to think) with you. (<- winky to make you feel special...something I thought up all on my own)

Few...I think I nailed some of the bullet points.

Regarding a size of a woman, to me it has always been about how comfortable you (the woman) is with their body. I've been with women of all sizes and there is nothing more annoying than hearing complaints about 'Oh, I can't have desert' or 'I'm feeling chunky', etc...turn off for me. If you are comfortable with yourself and your body, it is almost guaranteed you're a dynamo in bed because you don't have the 'usual' hangups
bisagree? lol..

you are correct.. we do it to ourselves.. I love who I am.. sure I want to tone this body up.. but I have been hit on more often in the past few months than ever before... because... I finally love who I am.. I feel wonderful in my skin.. I know I look hot.. and the funny thing is this.. it took a dear friend here to make me realize that I do love this body.. with all it's flaws... when he made a comment that hurt my feelings I looked into the mirror and I focused on the good things about me.. he's still a very amazing friend who I cherish.. and i thank him for helping me focus on the positive things about me.. and honestly... when I saw the men I allow into my life.. I knew that it's never been about looks or size or any of that... that confidence is what attracted me and what holds me to them..

great point
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Old 11-10-2013, 06:17 PM   #61
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I don't know why every time the subject of weight comes up and we talk supportively about women of all sizes suddenly it has to take a dive into slamming smaller women.
Does the girls club stop being supportive and caring of each other at a certain size if that size is "less than" some calculated size or is this just some arbitrary figure?

Can't we feel good about ourselves without degrading other people?
What exactly is the bra size that no longer counts as "real woman?"
What is the pants size?
The height?
The weight?

I'm just wondering if these comments are truly speaking about "knobby kneed anorexics" who are generally in so much turmoil they are killing themselves and surely don't need added injury to their psyche or if this is about women who aren't bigger breasted or carrying extra body fat.

This comes up over and over and over so maybe someone can clarify?
Small boobie girls wanna know.
When magazines and the internet show the best bikini bodies - women look in the mirror and get depressed! What is attractive to one is not attractive to others - the bottom line is how you feel about yourself. Sexiness is an attitude not a size. Men want confident sexual women who know how to please and how to be pleasured! I don't want to be compared by other standards! (And the models do have ugly knees! Just sayin')
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Old 11-10-2013, 06:36 PM   #62
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That's what the label on my Jock Strap says.
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Old 11-10-2013, 06:43 PM   #63
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I started this thread because I ran across the 'article' and it made me smile. Here was a man discovering the challenges of women's clothing 'sizes'.

I didn't mean for anyone to think I was putting them down for being (or not being) or a certain size. I like Max's idea of manufacturers using inches/cm rather than some arbitrary size.

There's more I'd like to say, but I just can't say it tonight. I'm sorry if this thread has upset anyone.
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Old 11-10-2013, 06:46 PM   #64
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When magazines and the internet show the best bikini bodies - women look in the mirror and get depressed! What is attractive to one is not attractive to others - the bottom line is how you feel about yourself. Sexiness is an attitude not a size. Men want confident sexual women who know how to please and how to be pleasured! I don't want to be compared by other standards! (And the models do have ugly knees! Just sayin')
I think you made leilie's point for her in parts of this post. We are ALL beautiful. Just because someone's knees aren't attractive to you doesn't mean that she's not beautiful. Some don't prefer women with rolls on their stomach either... But others do. It doesn't make one of us more beautiful than the other. No matter her size if she is truly happy and confident in herself it will shine through. Personally I've been at both ends of the spectrum. I don't want to be bone thin. I also don't want to be soft and claim that my fat rolls are "curves". I made excuses as to why my body couldn't be better .. and claimed to be confident but really I wasn't. It wasn't until I learned how to work to shape my body to MY preferences did I truly feel confident in my own skin. But we are ALL real women. If I said "only real women have muscles and flat abs" I'm sure everyone with a different body preference would take offense. No matter what shape, size, or density. Even of we hate the skin we are in .. We are real. And most take offense to being judged otherwise.
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Old 11-10-2013, 06:49 PM   #65
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Originally Posted by redcat View Post
I started this thread because I ran across the 'article' and it made me smile. Here was a man discovering the challenges of women's clothing 'sizes'.

I didn't mean for anyone to think I was putting them down for being (or not being) or a certain size. I like Max's idea of manufacturers using inches/cm rather than some arbitrary size.

There's more I'd like to say, but I just can't say it tonight. I'm sorry if this thread has upset anyone.
I SO agree with the actual inch size .. But then we run into the problem of most women with a size 30 waist has X size of thighs .. This is why I cannot just walk into a store and buy a pair of pants. The sales girls peg me for a size and it's always 4 inches too small because the waist size simply don't fit my thunder thigh size
I want pants that change with my size from day to day .. Just not yoga pants that's I've worn so thin that my ass is seen when I bend over
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Old 11-10-2013, 06:50 PM   #66
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We are ALL beautiful.
I agree, and I find myself intrigued by many of you, at least curious since this is all fictional :-)
Now stop fighting over your beautiful physiques!
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Old 11-10-2013, 07:10 PM   #67
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Am I plus size? Heh heh...well I don't like to brag, but....
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Old 11-10-2013, 07:10 PM   #68
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My jock strap is sized by weight/kilograms, I'm ok with that.
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Old 11-10-2013, 07:13 PM   #69
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I spent several hours at a nudist resort today where I observed well over a hundred women of various ages and sizes. Can't remember one that I didn't find attractive in someway or another.
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Old 11-10-2013, 07:36 PM   #70
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Gotta love Renoir.
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Old 11-10-2013, 07:39 PM   #71
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Yes..and I'm hot as fuck
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Old 11-10-2013, 07:39 PM   #72
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First, let me say, I feel SO vulnerable throwing myself into this fray.

I haven't been so out of touch with my body since I joined here back in 1999. Whether it was cyber affairs, deeper phone/offline relationships, affairs, offline dating....I always felt like I was evolving. From someone with despicable self loathing about herself (from myself and my ex of 16 years) and her size 12/14/16/18.....WHO KNEW body. I didn't. To a lower size as I grew to accept who I was AS I was and as I was accepted as I was.

I started showing my body here. I mean baring my body. For the first time in over 40 years, people saw parts of me that no one had seen outside of the dark. Because I was ashamed. And, I was accepted and admired even. And, as everything grew and culminated. As I became more and more confident in who I was (because if you haven't experienced body shame, you haven't experienced much shame and I've experienced a lot), I finally grew up enough to search outside of these walls.

I did that for a long time. I was honest about who I was. Photographs, skype, lots of phone calls and the immediacy of meeting. There were no surprises. They saw who they wanted to see.

But, lately I'm back in 1999. All of my clothes fit. They go on, they zip up, they are comfortable. But, they don't FIT, you know? My ass is the same, but it doesn't have the same sassy walk it did. My cleaveage isn't even the same. I loved who I was. That was when you never heard for me or if you did I was just bragging about sex again. I'm here to say there were LOTS of men into women who wore size 12 with big asses an d large breasts. They liked the curves.

And, I don't want to make this against anyone else. You size 2 sweethearts or anything in between, believe me, men have preferences for ALL sorts of girls. Just go on a website or two. You'll see.
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Old 11-11-2013, 02:20 PM   #73
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l am not a plus size....But l have friends that are......I have carried a child within my body...My body is not magazine perfect, but when I look in the mirror I am proud. Beauty is not measured by outer appearance, but by the view of our heart to another human being. l think it's sad to judge a person on looks alone...
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Old 11-11-2013, 02:29 PM   #74
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jjcarter View Post
l am not a plus size....But l have friends that are......I have carried a child within my body...My body is not magazine perfect, but when I look in the mirror I am proud. Beauty is not measured by outer appearance, but by the view of our heart to another human being. l think it's sad to judge a person on looks alone...
Looks are never the first judge. I love a great personality
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Old 11-11-2013, 02:40 PM   #75
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A male perspective.

I married when I was rail thin. I'm not anymore. I gained when my wife was pregnant with our first, even had cravings the likes of which you would not believe.

Today I worry about my weight for health concerns. Have for years. But with recent events I have a new emphasis on it. I've lost some. There's more that needs to go but I've plateaued. I'm working on strategies to kickstart, mindful of what my diabetes advisor told me.

"Lose slowly so you have a better chance to keep it off."

My wife still loves me with skinny legs, a heart-shaped butt, and looking six months pregnant rather than seven after losing 20 pounds. I'll never be "thin" again. I know that. But one day I want to plateau for good at 5' 10" and around 190 pounds. I have 40 to go. That should take another two years to do. If I ever had to re-enter the dating scene, someone who makes that (my body shape) a high priority wouldn't be interesting to me. If you love me, you love me. Period.

Wifey has never been small, always plus size. I didn't care when I dated her, don't care now. I only care for her health.

Those who look at the heart and soul first, then the mind and spirit, and then the body end up finding that, sometimes, the best packages may be larger than society "likes", but they're worth discovering.
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