Married And Flirting Chat

Go Back   Married And Flirting Chat > Married And Flirting Chat Forums > Jokes, Stories & Games

Jokes, Stories & Games Have a good joke to tell or a story to share. How about a game to play, Post it here and share it with us.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-30-2017, 08:41 PM   #5526
Lonelyheart2017
Flirting God
 
Lonelyheart2017's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Toledo
Age: 46
Posts: 683
Thanks: 25
Thanked 54 Times in 53 Posts
Lonelyheart2017 has a reputation beyond repute Lonelyheart2017 has a reputation beyond repute Lonelyheart2017 has a reputation beyond repute Lonelyheart2017 has a reputation beyond repute Lonelyheart2017 has a reputation beyond repute Lonelyheart2017 has a reputation beyond repute Lonelyheart2017 has a reputation beyond repute Lonelyheart2017 has a reputation beyond repute Lonelyheart2017 has a reputation beyond repute Lonelyheart2017 has a reputation beyond repute Lonelyheart2017 has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Dear self, remember there is always a smile hidden behind every frown
Sincerely, your poetic self
Lonelyheart2017 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2017, 09:08 PM   #5527
tink062570
Sheena Queen of tartness
 
tink062570's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: in that spot right between the heart and soul ... NEVERLAND
Age: 48
Posts: 36,709
Thanks: 7,659
Thanked 7,416 Times in 5,664 Posts
Blog Entries: 49
tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like
Default

Dear acting Attorney General of the United States , Although I admire your stance and courage in your stance we both know that you will probably be unemployed by tomorrow morning after you have been properly spanked on Twitter of course . So I just wanted to let you know that I will give you a reference letter should you require one that is of course if you are not banned from the United States as well .

Sincerely ,
Train wreck spectator
tink062570 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2017, 09:23 PM   #5528
RisingSun
2nd Qtr. 4.1% GDP
 
RisingSun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Hometown
Age: 66
Posts: 19,974
Thanks: 5,313
Thanked 3,033 Times in 2,808 Posts
RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tink062570 View Post
Dear acting Attorney General of the United States , Although I admire your stance and courage in your stance we both know that you will probably be unemployed by tomorrow morning after you have been properly spanked on Twitter of course . So I just wanted to let you know that I will give you a reference letter should you require one that is of course if you are not banned from the United States as well .

Sincerely ,
Train wreck spectator
It just happened!!
__________________
RisingSun is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to RisingSun For This Useful Post:
tink062570 (01-30-2017)
Old 01-30-2017, 09:26 PM   #5529
tink062570
Sheena Queen of tartness
 
tink062570's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: in that spot right between the heart and soul ... NEVERLAND
Age: 48
Posts: 36,709
Thanks: 7,659
Thanked 7,416 Times in 5,664 Posts
Blog Entries: 49
tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like
Default

Dear damn i missed it i went to get popcorn :cry
tink062570 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2017, 09:27 PM   #5530
RisingSun
2nd Qtr. 4.1% GDP
 
RisingSun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Hometown
Age: 66
Posts: 19,974
Thanks: 5,313
Thanked 3,033 Times in 2,808 Posts
RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tink062570 View Post
Dear damn i missed it i went to get popcorn :cry
I knew you were right but in 10 fuckin minutes?
__________________
RisingSun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2017, 09:32 PM   #5531
tink062570
Sheena Queen of tartness
 
tink062570's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: in that spot right between the heart and soul ... NEVERLAND
Age: 48
Posts: 36,709
Thanks: 7,659
Thanked 7,416 Times in 5,664 Posts
Blog Entries: 49
tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by RisingSun View Post
I knew you were right but in 10 fuckin minutes?
What can I say I have the dust ( wait pixie isnt illegal yet I can still believe right )
tink062570 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to tink062570 For This Useful Post:
RisingSun (01-30-2017)
Old 01-30-2017, 10:00 PM   #5532
Apparition
deus ex machina
 
Apparition's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: InsideYoBrane
Age: 43
Posts: 31,240
Thanks: 5,292
Thanked 8,677 Times in 6,656 Posts
Blog Entries: 3
Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like
Default

Dearest Lexy

Tuvok may be on his way. Be good to him.

Sincerely, family.
__________________
Zero Sum
Apparition is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2017, 06:37 PM   #5533
artemis
irretrievable
 
artemis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: California
Age: 43
Posts: 25,724
Thanks: 13,466
Thanked 11,115 Times in 8,072 Posts
Blog Entries: 15
artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like
Default

Dear head,
This addiction to sleep has to stop. I'm not use to this new found fondness to 7 hrs of zzzzzzzs. I'm missing out on m&f fun hours!

artemis misses her insomnia
__________________
Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change ~ Stephen Hawking

artemis is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to artemis For This Useful Post:
BlueEyedMale40 (02-08-2017)
Old 01-31-2017, 07:13 PM   #5534
leggy
Sa... Mooch!
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: stage left
Age: 56
Posts: 16,608
Thanks: 4,971
Thanked 4,181 Times in 3,254 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
leggy Is God Like leggy Is God Like leggy Is God Like leggy Is God Like leggy Is God Like leggy Is God Like leggy Is God Like leggy Is God Like leggy Is God Like leggy Is God Like leggy Is God Like
Default

Dear Karma:

Thank you so much for making her so paranoid.. Probably never lets go of the fear
__________________
leggy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2017, 09:11 PM   #5535
FeistyAngel
Halos are overrated 😈
 
FeistyAngel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Age: 50
Posts: 8,066
Thanks: 2,678
Thanked 4,006 Times in 2,575 Posts
FeistyAngel Is God Like FeistyAngel Is God Like FeistyAngel Is God Like FeistyAngel Is God Like FeistyAngel Is God Like FeistyAngel Is God Like FeistyAngel Is God Like FeistyAngel Is God Like FeistyAngel Is God Like FeistyAngel Is God Like FeistyAngel Is God Like
Default

Dear Wednesday,

Be kind.

Sincerely,
I'm not looking forward to you
__________________
FeistyAngel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2017, 09:59 PM   #5536
Cristal
Rex's TROUBLE
 
Cristal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Yellow Brick Road
Age: 52
Posts: 11,694
Thanks: 5,930
Thanked 2,821 Times in 2,218 Posts
Blog Entries: 31
Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like
Default

Dear asshat with the dogs , I like dogs .. just not dogs running at me as I'm jogging . I'm glad you saw humor in that until I stopped running . How about you keep your dogs in the fence and I won't go bat-shit angry on you !
Sincerely , I will zap you with the cattle prod not your dogs
__________________
It doesn't take a lot of strength to hang on; It takes a lot of strength to let go . J.C. Watts
Cristal is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Cristal For This Useful Post:
DirtRacer9 (02-02-2017), OneFineDay (02-02-2017)
Old 02-01-2017, 09:30 AM   #5537
scarlet*rose
Limited edition...
 
scarlet*rose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: England...turn right at Ireland
Age: 56
Posts: 8,421
Thanks: 1,870
Thanked 2,087 Times in 1,727 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like
Default

Dear Queen,

The Trump is coming...barricade the palace doors with your heaviest furniture....

Sincerely,
Your subjects
__________________
I can't tell if it's killing me or making me stronger...
scarlet*rose is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2017, 12:07 PM   #5538
Iceburn
Thread Terrorist
 
Iceburn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: In the land of Naughty Sneakies
Age: 59
Posts: 49,001
Thanks: 22,261
Thanked 25,659 Times in 20,303 Posts
Blog Entries: 16
Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like
Default

Dear Bleeding hearts,

Stop making excuses for nasty people

You cant put a flower in an asshole..and call it a vase.

Sincerely
Me.
__________________
~ A good man has few enemies. A ruthless man has none ~
Iceburn is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Iceburn For This Useful Post:
dixiechik (02-01-2017), FeistyAngel (02-01-2017), JerseyGirl (02-01-2017), southern1 (02-01-2017)
Old 02-01-2017, 07:30 PM   #5539
JerseyGirl
(。♥‿♥。)
 
JerseyGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Age: 52
Posts: 45,736
Thanks: 17,542
Thanked 18,651 Times in 14,488 Posts
JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like
Default

Dear life

....you are sure throwing some hard balls this way...

Sincerely
....We will get through this
JerseyGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2017, 09:29 PM   #5540
Ally
Je ne sais pas
 
Ally's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Canada
Age: 40
Posts: 19,536
Thanks: 5,976
Thanked 7,482 Times in 4,917 Posts
Blog Entries: 27
Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like
Default

Dear kids,

Tomorrow morning when it's time to head out the door...can you PLEASE not instantly turn into sloths? It's absolutely insane how much time it takes for you to put your boots, coats, and get your backpacks. Seriously. Don't make me turn into raging Momma first thing in the morning.

Sincerely,
Mommy needs more coffee
Ally is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Ally For This Useful Post:
OneFineDay (02-02-2017)
Old 02-01-2017, 09:35 PM   #5541
MisterBlueSky
Just Ask
 
MisterBlueSky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: North East
Age: 48
Posts: 8,507
Thanks: 1,919
Thanked 3,289 Times in 2,421 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
MisterBlueSky Is God Like MisterBlueSky Is God Like MisterBlueSky Is God Like MisterBlueSky Is God Like MisterBlueSky Is God Like MisterBlueSky Is God Like MisterBlueSky Is God Like MisterBlueSky Is God Like MisterBlueSky Is God Like MisterBlueSky Is God Like MisterBlueSky Is God Like
Default

Dear Prudence

The sun is up. The sky is blue. It's beautiful, and so are you

Sincerely,

John
MisterBlueSky is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MisterBlueSky For This Useful Post:
Miss_red_siren (02-02-2017)
Old 02-02-2017, 10:33 PM   #5542
Ally
Je ne sais pas
 
Ally's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Canada
Age: 40
Posts: 19,536
Thanks: 5,976
Thanked 7,482 Times in 4,917 Posts
Blog Entries: 27
Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like
Default

Dear Mom,

Thanks for letting me stay at your place while you are vacationing in Florida. Hopefully I will have things figured out by the time you come back in March. Oh and Little one #2 may have broken a picture frame. I will try to glue it back together.

Sincerely,

Your daughter who still needs her Mama
Ally is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Ally For This Useful Post:
bryan3636 (02-03-2017)
Old 02-02-2017, 11:02 PM   #5543
Enigma77
Flirting God
I Love It Here
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Age: 41
Posts: 16,482
Thanks: 4,116
Thanked 5,318 Times in 3,985 Posts
Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterBlueSky View Post
Dear Prudence

The sun is up. The sky is blue. It's beautiful, and so are you

Sincerely,

John


Dear John
My name is Enigma. Why do you keep forgetting that?

Sincerely
E.
Enigma77 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Enigma77 For This Useful Post:
MisterBlueSky (02-03-2017)
Old 02-03-2017, 04:45 AM   #5544
barefootgirl
Rewinding
 
barefootgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Next to mickey mouse
Age: 52
Posts: 2,351
Thanks: 722
Thanked 1,160 Times in 838 Posts
barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like
Default

Dear Cheddar Cheese Popcorn,

No matter how your rationalize it, you don't make a good breakfast choice. There's a time and a place for you and it's not now.

Sincerely,
Resisting
__________________
"Someday we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny."
barefootgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2017, 08:16 PM   #5545
dixiechik
Can you see me now?
 
dixiechik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Where peaches grow and the confederate flag flows
Age: 48
Posts: 24,096
Thanks: 7,141
Thanked 9,154 Times in 5,877 Posts
dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like
Default

Dear mad poster

Oh my gawd get off the damn internet and live. Being here 24-7 is not good
for anyone. Your eyes will turn yellow and your toenails with grow fungus. Get up and move for gods sake!

Sincerely

Live a little enjoy real life
__________________

If I offend you cry me a river, I'll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears while munching on chips and working on my tan.
dixiechik is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to dixiechik For This Useful Post:
JerseyGirl (02-08-2017)
Old 02-06-2017, 04:50 PM   #5546
tink062570
Sheena Queen of tartness
 
tink062570's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: in that spot right between the heart and soul ... NEVERLAND
Age: 48
Posts: 36,709
Thanks: 7,659
Thanked 7,416 Times in 5,664 Posts
Blog Entries: 49
tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like
Default

Dear body , thanks for all the hard work and sacrifice your looking amazing these days ...

Sincerely ,
The inner beauty
tink062570 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to tink062570 For This Useful Post:
JerseyGirl (02-08-2017)
Old 02-08-2017, 09:45 PM   #5547
Ally
Je ne sais pas
 
Ally's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Canada
Age: 40
Posts: 19,536
Thanks: 5,976
Thanked 7,482 Times in 4,917 Posts
Blog Entries: 27
Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like Ally Is God Like
Default

Dear littlest one,

I'm sorry for the haircut I gave you. It will grow back? You're still cute even with uneven choppiness on top.

Love,

Your cheap mom who didn't want to pay $20 but should have
Ally is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Ally For This Useful Post:
JerseyGirl (02-08-2017)
Old 02-09-2017, 09:08 PM   #5548
tink062570
Sheena Queen of tartness
 
tink062570's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: in that spot right between the heart and soul ... NEVERLAND
Age: 48
Posts: 36,709
Thanks: 7,659
Thanked 7,416 Times in 5,664 Posts
Blog Entries: 49
tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like
Default

Dear you , it is funny how flirting is the last thing on my mind ... Sometime ago a friendship and understanding of each was embarked . This week something amazing happened and something that I have been working for a long time . You shared part of that with me and I wanted to tell you I made it back to that mark . I dont need or require your approval but when that goal was met there were only four people that came to mind that I wanted to share it with and you were one of them but you decided that you had your reasons for not being friends any longer and I respect that but I respect me enough to say I thought of you at a very important and were sadden by the thought that it was not something that would ever be shared .

Just thinking,
the lighter me
tink062570 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2017, 01:28 PM   #5549
scoobertina
scoobalicious
 
scoobertina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Age: 53
Posts: 77,516
Thanks: 21,174
Thanked 18,157 Times in 12,292 Posts
Blog Entries: 87
scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like
Default

Dear Daughter,
I'm really going to miss you when you move away with your man. I'm enjoying our girl's night on Wednesday's and I'm saving a fortune on nail care. He's a lucky guy and I think he realizes it.
Sincerely,
Soon to be empty nester, yet again
__________________
scoobertina is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to scoobertina For This Useful Post:
JerseyGirl (02-12-2017), OneFineDay (02-20-2017)
Old 02-20-2017, 12:22 PM   #5550
Chillaxin
Flirting God
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Age: 46
Posts: 14,064
Thanks: 3,719
Thanked 3,160 Times in 2,796 Posts
Chillaxin Is God Like Chillaxin Is God Like Chillaxin Is God Like Chillaxin Is God Like Chillaxin Is God Like Chillaxin Is God Like Chillaxin Is God Like Chillaxin Is God Like Chillaxin Is God Like Chillaxin Is God Like Chillaxin Is God Like
Default

Dear someone I once knew,
Good for you for doing what your doing.

Sincerely,
No one important
Chillaxin is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:24 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.