Married And Flirting Chat

Go Back   Married And Flirting Chat > Married And Flirting Chat Forums > Jokes, Stories & Games

Jokes, Stories & Games Have a good joke to tell or a story to share. How about a game to play, Post it here and share it with us.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-22-2016, 10:58 PM   #5476
tink062570
Sheena Queen of tartness
 
tink062570's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: in that spot right between the heart and soul ... NEVERLAND
Age: 48
Posts: 36,731
Thanks: 7,663
Thanked 7,422 Times in 5,669 Posts
Blog Entries: 49
tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like tink062570 Is God Like
Default

Dear the other one

Laughable just laughable ....

Sincerely

Humor works
tink062570 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2016, 08:53 PM   #5477
661readynow
free and breezy
 
661readynow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: surrounded by blue
Posts: 1,621
Thanks: 494
Thanked 359 Times in 301 Posts
661readynow Is God Like 661readynow Is God Like 661readynow Is God Like 661readynow Is God Like 661readynow Is God Like 661readynow Is God Like 661readynow Is God Like 661readynow Is God Like 661readynow Is God Like 661readynow Is God Like 661readynow Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JerseyGirl View Post
Dear Cheese doodle

...I love how you feel when I take you in my mouth as you hit the back of my throat you are a perfect fit

Sincerely..this is true love
Dear cheese doodle,
Do you really know how lucky you are?
Sincerely,
Jealous
661readynow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2016, 10:17 PM   #5478
Apparition
deus ex machina
 
Apparition's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: InsideYoBrane
Age: 43
Posts: 31,597
Thanks: 5,317
Thanked 8,725 Times in 6,698 Posts
Blog Entries: 3
Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like
Default

Dear pizza

Why must you be so ladened with those obnoxious amount of calories? Shit.

Sincerely,
Wished I remained blissfully ignorant
__________________
Zero Sum
Apparition is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Apparition For This Useful Post:
Amonte (10-29-2016), artemis (11-05-2016), DirtRacer9 (11-05-2016), gabrielle22 (11-03-2016), redcat (11-06-2016), tink062570 (11-06-2016)
Old 10-29-2016, 10:21 PM   #5479
Laxman
Fill in the blanks
 
Laxman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: North East
Age: 48
Posts: 7,185
Thanks: 851
Thanked 1,025 Times in 851 Posts
Laxman Is God Like Laxman Is God Like Laxman Is God Like Laxman Is God Like Laxman Is God Like Laxman Is God Like Laxman Is God Like Laxman Is God Like Laxman Is God Like Laxman Is God Like Laxman Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apparition View Post
Dear pizza

Why must you be so ladened with those obnoxious amount of calories? Shit.

Sincerely,
Wished I remained blissfully ignorant
Dear gym, thank you for being there for me so I can eat pizza
__________________
Don't Panic
Laxman is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Laxman For This Useful Post:
Apparition (10-29-2016), tink062570 (11-06-2016)
Old 11-01-2016, 06:30 PM   #5480
Miss_red_siren
All you need is love
 
Miss_red_siren's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: The long and winding road
Age: 39
Posts: 3,582
Thanks: 999
Thanked 1,277 Times in 928 Posts
Miss_red_siren Is God Like Miss_red_siren Is God Like Miss_red_siren Is God Like Miss_red_siren Is God Like Miss_red_siren Is God Like Miss_red_siren Is God Like Miss_red_siren Is God Like Miss_red_siren Is God Like Miss_red_siren Is God Like Miss_red_siren Is God Like Miss_red_siren Is God Like
Default

Dear blank,

We've been together for a while. But I don't think it's healthy to keep going, I am miserable with you. I don't know if you realize or not how many mistakes you're making. And saying that, I really think you are in the wrong profession.

Sincerely, eyes wide open.
Miss_red_siren is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2016, 06:51 PM   #5481
barefootgirl
Rewinding
 
barefootgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Next to mickey mouse
Age: 52
Posts: 2,351
Thanks: 722
Thanked 1,160 Times in 838 Posts
barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like barefootgirl Is God Like
Default

Dear "My Shit Don't Stink",

Your shit stinks!

Sincerely,

Nose plugged
__________________
"Someday we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny."
barefootgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to barefootgirl For This Useful Post:
66rockman (11-01-2016), DirtRacer9 (11-05-2016)
Old 11-01-2016, 07:10 PM   #5482
Lyric~*
Flirting God
 
Lyric~*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Age: 40
Posts: 18,318
Thanks: 12,289
Thanked 9,331 Times in 6,838 Posts
Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like
Default

Dear GF,

Thank you for thinking of me. You really didn't have to do that, but you did anyway!

Love always,

Lifted spirits
Lyric~* is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2016, 07:11 PM   #5483
ilovetospike
Thread Ruiner
 
ilovetospike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: neither here nor there
Age: 56
Posts: 24,780
Thanks: 3,403
Thanked 8,812 Times in 7,220 Posts
ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like
Default

Dear Snickers,

GET IN MY BELLY!

Sincerely,

Sweet Toothed Spike
__________________
I lead the league in eye rolls.

ilovetospike is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2016, 07:19 PM   #5484
FlowerGirl228
petal in the grand design
 
FlowerGirl228's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Third rock from the sun.
Age: 52
Posts: 6,584
Thanks: 2,443
Thanked 2,930 Times in 1,906 Posts
Blog Entries: 5
FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like
Default

Dear (insert name of higher entity here_____)

Please help my UPS man survive my online shopping !! He is much nicer than the last one , and I would like to have him keep showing up !

Thank you
A frequent Amazon shopper
__________________
"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing's going to get better. It's not." The Lorax
FlowerGirl228 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to FlowerGirl228 For This Useful Post:
BlueSky1234 (11-05-2016)
Old 11-03-2016, 12:57 AM   #5485
SoCal guy
Flirting God
 
SoCal guy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Los Angeles
Age: 62
Posts: 12,206
Thanks: 3,634
Thanked 2,775 Times in 2,478 Posts
SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like
Default

Dear cold callers and political callers,
Fuck you.
Sincerily, Tired of being disturbed when I'm doing stuff.
SoCal guy is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to SoCal guy For This Useful Post:
redcat (11-06-2016)
Old 11-05-2016, 01:31 AM   #5486
JazzGrl
(。♥‿♥。)
 
JazzGrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Age: 52
Posts: 46,167
Thanks: 17,689
Thanked 18,832 Times in 14,632 Posts
JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like
Default

Dear baby girl

.....My heart is broken over this. I am praying for you and your family!! Please wake up!!

Sincerely Heartbroken
JazzGrl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2016, 06:32 AM   #5487
BlueSky1234
Just being me
 
BlueSky1234's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Age: 49
Posts: 48,643
Thanks: 15,109
Thanked 12,902 Times in 9,404 Posts
BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like
Default

Dear crappy weather

Please stay this way for tonight so that I don't hear fireworks going off until the early hours.

Used to love bonfire night when I was a kid, but not anymore.

Sincerely

Person sick to death of hearing the bangs already.
BlueSky1234 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2016, 06:39 AM   #5488
Skwerty
Virtual Insanity
 
Skwerty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Age: 53
Posts: 11,523
Thanks: 4,073
Thanked 3,301 Times in 2,592 Posts
Blog Entries: 3
Skwerty Is God Like Skwerty Is God Like Skwerty Is God Like Skwerty Is God Like Skwerty Is God Like Skwerty Is God Like Skwerty Is God Like Skwerty Is God Like Skwerty Is God Like Skwerty Is God Like Skwerty Is God Like
Default

Dear Firework People

You hurt my ears.

Sincerely

The Dogs
Skwerty is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Skwerty For This Useful Post:
BlueSky1234 (11-05-2016)
Old 11-05-2016, 09:39 AM   #5489
artemis
irretrievable
 
artemis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: California
Age: 43
Posts: 25,724
Thanks: 13,466
Thanked 11,115 Times in 8,072 Posts
Blog Entries: 15
artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like artemis Is God Like
Default

Dear artemis,
Get back on shallow ground. Your friends are waiting to play!

Logical reasoning
__________________
Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change ~ Stephen Hawking

artemis is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to artemis For This Useful Post:
OneFineDay (11-05-2016)
Old 11-05-2016, 10:23 AM   #5490
Cristal
Rex's TROUBLE
 
Cristal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Yellow Brick Road
Age: 52
Posts: 11,984
Thanks: 6,019
Thanked 2,876 Times in 2,269 Posts
Blog Entries: 43
Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like Cristal Is God Like
Default

Dear mess-makers , I love you , however please pick up after yourselves ! I'm about to get a bit perturbed .
Sincerely , not your maid
__________________
The hardest walk is walking alone, but it's also the walk that makes you the strongest .
Cristal is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Cristal For This Useful Post:
OneFineDay (11-05-2016)
Old 11-05-2016, 04:13 PM   #5491
JazzGrl
(。♥‿♥。)
 
JazzGrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Age: 52
Posts: 46,167
Thanks: 17,689
Thanked 18,832 Times in 14,632 Posts
JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like
Default

Dear check yourself

....before you judge anyone make sure you are perfect

Sincerely not perfect just real
JazzGrl is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to JazzGrl For This Useful Post:
dixiechik (11-06-2016)
Old 11-05-2016, 04:19 PM   #5492
OneFineDay
East of the Big Pond
 
OneFineDay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Far Far Away
Age: 59
Posts: 5,640
Thanks: 3,226
Thanked 2,102 Times in 1,835 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
OneFineDay Is God Like OneFineDay Is God Like OneFineDay Is God Like OneFineDay Is God Like OneFineDay Is God Like OneFineDay Is God Like OneFineDay Is God Like OneFineDay Is God Like OneFineDay Is God Like OneFineDay Is God Like OneFineDay Is God Like
Default

Dear Sheriff,

... all this gunpowder is for the fireworks of course ...

Sincerely
John Johnson
OneFineDay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2016, 04:25 PM   #5493
flirtingenie
Silver Hair Lady
 
flirtingenie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Arkansas
Age: 59
Posts: 16,901
Thanks: 4,547
Thanked 3,770 Times in 3,057 Posts
Blog Entries: 3
flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like
Default

Dear Family
You said you are proud of me and here for me but
you never call to see if I am still alive .

Some kind of family are you .
Sincerely not the important one.
__________________
flirtingenie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2016, 05:08 PM   #5494
scoobertina
scoobalicious
 
scoobertina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Age: 53
Posts: 77,635
Thanks: 21,213
Thanked 18,202 Times in 12,317 Posts
Blog Entries: 87
scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like scoobertina Is God Like
Default

Dear Americans,

It's almost over. Do your part. God Bless America! Land of the free.. Peace be with you.

Sincerely,
Tina
__________________
scoobertina is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to scoobertina For This Useful Post:
66rockman (11-06-2016), Just A Girl (11-07-2016)
Old 11-06-2016, 07:05 PM   #5495
dixiechik
Can you see me now?
 
dixiechik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Where peaches grow and the confederate flag flows
Age: 48
Posts: 24,219
Thanks: 7,206
Thanked 9,204 Times in 5,917 Posts
dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like
Default

Dear Dentist

You kill me I despise having to return next week.

Sincerely,
Mostly, painfully yours for the last 10 days
__________________

If I offend you cry me a river, I'll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears while munching on chips and working on my tan.
dixiechik is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to dixiechik For This Useful Post:
JazzGrl (11-06-2016)
Old 11-06-2016, 07:25 PM   #5496
daisyduck
***Beautiful disaster ***
 
daisyduck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Down south
Age: 38
Posts: 30,100
Thanks: 6,667
Thanked 6,134 Times in 4,887 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like
Default

Dear light savings time!

You suck!

Not a happy sleeper
Ducky!
__________________
daisyduck is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to daisyduck For This Useful Post:
Enigma77 (11-07-2016), Just A Girl (11-07-2016)
Old 11-06-2016, 07:39 PM   #5497
FlowerGirl228
petal in the grand design
 
FlowerGirl228's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Third rock from the sun.
Age: 52
Posts: 6,584
Thanks: 2,443
Thanked 2,930 Times in 1,906 Posts
Blog Entries: 5
FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like FlowerGirl228 Is God Like
Default

Dear Summer
I miss you , please come back !
Sincerely
Not a fan of cold weather
__________________
"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing's going to get better. It's not." The Lorax
FlowerGirl228 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to FlowerGirl228 For This Useful Post:
DirtRacer9 (11-06-2016)
Old 11-06-2016, 09:36 PM   #5498
JazzGrl
(。♥‿♥。)
 
JazzGrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Age: 52
Posts: 46,167
Thanks: 17,689
Thanked 18,832 Times in 14,632 Posts
JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like JazzGrl Is God Like
Default

Dear Someone

...you are amazing

Sincerely a freind
JazzGrl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2016, 04:34 PM   #5499
Bailey~*
earning Valhalla
 
Bailey~*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Age: 54
Posts: 11,923
Thanks: 9,974
Thanked 8,977 Times in 5,068 Posts
Blog Entries: 5
Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like
Default

Dear Election Day,

After talking to another news crew today, I am determined not to let you keep me from leaving work on time tomorrow. Not gonna stay late. Seriously.

Signed,
Wanting to eat Tuesday dinner on tjme
Bailey~* is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2016, 04:55 PM   #5500
flirtingenie
Silver Hair Lady
 
flirtingenie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Arkansas
Age: 59
Posts: 16,901
Thanks: 4,547
Thanked 3,770 Times in 3,057 Posts
Blog Entries: 3
flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like
Default

Dear Rain
I know we need you but do you have to make me hurt all over.
Sincerely
Fnc
__________________
flirtingenie is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:36 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.