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Old 02-28-2017, 12:10 PM   #1
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When someone you love hurts you, emotionally and mentally, what do you do to cope and how do you deal with the situation?
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Old 02-28-2017, 12:41 PM   #2
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When someone you love hurts you, emotionally and mentally, what do you do to cope and how do you deal with the situation?
We all cope and deal differently. There are those that say, "adios," and never look back. There are those that give a second, third and fourth chance.

I have found that once we step back from the situation we see that those people have a skewed definition of love. Perhaps they don't even have a clue what love is at all. Love is all about them, their love is selfish, for how can you hurt someone who you are supposed to love so much?

We are not perfect and we sometimes hurt those around us, but actions speak louder than words. If their actions are screaming and cursing at you, it's time for a discussion and possibly time to move on.
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Old 02-28-2017, 12:57 PM   #3
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When someone you love hurts you, emotionally and mentally, what do you do to cope and how do you deal with the situation?
So many people in our lives that we "love", but not love equally or hold to the same standard. I'm not sure if you are talking about a significant other or potentially a family member or child, but I'm a giver, a sharer and I give 100% with people I love until I feel disrespected. If a flag goes up that "seems" like disrespect I push back and give the person a chance to clarify or correct the situation. If they just keep dishing it out I mentally pack up my toys and build a barrier as I plot my way out.

If you want to keep this person in your life you need to put them mentally in a place where they can't continue to emotionally and mentally hurt you... for YOU.
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Old 02-28-2017, 01:14 PM   #4
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We all cope and deal differently. There are those that say, "adios," and never look back. There are those that give a second, third and fourth chance.

I have found that once we step back from the situation we see that those people have a skewed definition of love. Perhaps they don't even have a clue what love is at all. Love is all about them, their love is selfish, for how can you hurt someone who you are supposed to love so much?

We are not perfect and we sometimes hurt those around us, but actions speak louder than words. If their actions are screaming and cursing at you, it's time for a discussion and possibly time to move on.

I LOVE this. Ty hon
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Old 02-28-2017, 01:20 PM   #5
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I LOVE this. Ty hon
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Old 02-28-2017, 01:49 PM   #6
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The gift of your absence. Not because you're mean but because you respect yourself.
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Old 03-03-2017, 01:32 AM   #7
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So I'm really new to the online scene. So how do you know you're being played or toyed with. What would send up the red flags? Lots of details would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to have my heart stomped. Especially after just separating from my husband, it has left me a little vulnerable. I have a good head on my shoulders and I only trust few people in my life. But I do believe, without a doubt, I've been played and toyed with big time
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Old 03-03-2017, 12:26 PM   #8
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Old 03-03-2017, 01:20 PM   #9
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So I'm really new to the online scene. So how do you know you're being played or toyed with. What would send up the red flags? Lots of details would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to have my heart stomped. Especially after just separating from my husband, it has left me a little vulnerable. I have a good head on my shoulders and I only trust few people in my life. But I do believe, without a doubt, I've been played and toyed with big time
Trust your instincts, that is all you have. There is no sure fire way to know. Lies eventually come out, someone slips. Question inconsistencies. Sometimes when it appears too good to be true, it is. Not to say that you don't meet some great people online, but nothing is perfect. You won't agree about everything and hearing how wonderful you are, while nice at first, gets old pretty quick.

Honesty and integrity can't be faked. If they won't let you in to their lives and be real, something is up.
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Old 03-03-2017, 01:42 PM   #10
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You need to set your perspective and understand that most people on this site are married and plan on staying that way. So if it is happily ever after you are seeking this probably isn't the pond you should be fishing in.
I will be brutally honest and say you are new.. you by default are the flavor of the month and pretty much (sorry guys) every male that lands on your page, rep or pm box is hoping to get the first taste. As the newness wears off you will find more genuine interaction, however communication is key.

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So I'm really new to the online scene. So how do you know you're being played or toyed with. What would send up the red flags? Lots of details would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to have my heart stomped. Especially after just separating from my husband, it has left me a little vulnerable. I have a good head on my shoulders and I only trust few people in my life. But I do believe, without a doubt, I've been played and toyed with big time
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Old 03-03-2017, 01:45 PM   #11
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You need to set your perspective and understand that most people on this site are married and plan on staying that way. So if it is happily ever after you are seeking this probably isn't the pond you should be fishing in.
I will be brutally honest and say you are new.. you by default are the flavor of the month and pretty much (sorry guys) every male that lands on your page, rep or pm box is hoping to get the first taste. As the newness wears off you will find more genuine interaction, however communication is key.
How can I be, "new" again?
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Old 03-03-2017, 01:51 PM   #12
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Online is alot of typing and can be ambiguous. In life when people date they do it slowly, get to know one another week by week. Again communication is key , doesnt mean spill it all out at once. Love is tough in general and very hurtful sometimes..People generally have reasons for doing or not revealing things quickly.. awww my 2 cents. resume your live
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Old 03-03-2017, 01:55 PM   #13
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How can I be, "new" again?

Forget the men... I'm gonna land on your page
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Old 03-03-2017, 01:57 PM   #14
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Forget the men... I'm gonna land on your page
Men? What men? You flatter me.
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Old 03-03-2017, 07:30 PM   #15
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People who truly like and respect you will become your friend, and then worry about anything else after. even then, people can hurt you bigtime, online or in real life. it is jsut easier to play someone online, since you arent not seeing their face, or where they live etc etc. I myself have been hurt mainly in real life, but am somewhat leery of online as well.
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Old 03-03-2017, 07:46 PM   #16
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I suppose disappointments in online love... can draw cynicism to real life interactions too.

People are people.
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Old 03-03-2017, 08:11 PM   #17
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Find someone here that will give you the scoop on who to stay clear of here. Take your time and if you get an "oh oh...this feels wrong" spasm (feeling) or like its going to fuck you up in the long run...then TRUST YOURSELF & your feelings. If you have a chilling feeling in the pit of your stomach....like your insides are warning you, then bail! Good luck & stand tough!
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Old 03-03-2017, 08:14 PM   #18
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Best advice if you are separated in the midst of divorce find real life love not this shit online.
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Old 03-03-2017, 08:34 PM   #19
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Yep, I am the way you've all explained. I always listen to my instincts which did tell me somethings not right, I never believe that you could find someone online...there's too many questions about it, but how do you say so u hey are you a serial killer? Lol.
I get the flavor of the month, but that's not why I'm here, I want to make friends and get advice from people as I go through the things I'm currently going through. You're all a bunch of experienced wise people and I value everyone's opinion. I just like to throw out and flirt once in a while cause I'm not like that in real life.
So...thank you all for the wonderful advice. I will definitely be listing to my instincts more often
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Old 03-03-2017, 08:42 PM   #20
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Yep, I am the way you've all explained. I always listen to my instincts which did tell me somethings not right, I never believe that you could find someone online...there's too many questions about it, but how do you say so u hey are you a serial killer? Lol.
I get the flavor of the month, but that's not why I'm here, I want to make friends and get advice from people as I go through the things I'm currently going through. You're all a bunch of experienced wise people and I value everyone's opinion. I just like to throw out and flirt once in a while cause I'm not like that in real life.
So...thank you all for the wonderful advice. I will definitely be listing to my instincts more often
enjoy your time here, flirt, chat, and enjoy. If you meet someone you feel attached to enjoy it but leave here. I can speak from experience falling for someone I met, she is amazing, kind, warm, loving and stunningly beautiful. We met in person multiple times and have this amazing connection. However when the chips were down and I needed her the most, she put the most distance between us. So lesson learned here.

You'll figure out the right balance of letting people in enough to be close and enjoy a connection, but remember this message board isnt reality.
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Old 03-03-2017, 10:01 PM   #21
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I feel if someone truly loves you they wouldn't hurt ya, but I know its not always the case..just walk away..I am talking real life..
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Old 03-03-2017, 10:07 PM   #22
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How can I be, "new" again?
name change until we all rat ya out you might last 10 minutes if that
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Old 03-03-2017, 10:23 PM   #23
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I feel if someone truly loves you they wouldn't hurt ya, but I know its not always the case..just walk away..I am talking real life..
Amen
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Old 03-03-2017, 10:52 PM   #24
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Despite all the heartache, I'm still friends with Cotties.
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Old 06-29-2018, 09:30 AM   #25
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Im pretty tolerant but there is a limit to everything. If i am hurt tpo bad i will just cut you out of my life. But that takes quite a lot. Its no small thing.
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