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Old 03-11-2009, 05:44 PM   #1
Shawn
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Default 60 Second Divorce

Ok.. the local radio station here has this very funny game they call "60 second divorce" .... the object is you call your significant other up and get him/her to go off on you and actually resort to some sort of name calling within 60 seconds

So... What would you say to yours to get a heated response within 60 seconds/ or have them hang up on you?

For example.."hey I am gonna loan my ex a thousand bucks and go with her to Vegas this weekend.. be back Sunday M'kay?"
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Last edited by Shawn; 03-12-2009 at 08:42 AM. Reason: wow... I either type really bad, or spell like a 2 year old
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Old 03-11-2009, 05:54 PM   #2
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lol here's what my call would be:

"Hey honey, I forgot to pick up the kids after I got off work, and I know Im calling 2 hours late, but dont worry, I'll go straight to the sitter's as soon as I get my clothes on. You just stay home and we will be there shortly. Oh yeah, what did you make for supper? I'm STARVING!!"
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Old 03-11-2009, 06:06 PM   #3
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Hi hun, I decided I need a vacation and leave tomorrow morning. Don't worry your brother said I can share his hotel room!
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Old 03-11-2009, 09:36 PM   #4
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No baby, I have no idea why there's no money in the checking account..hey will you do me a favor? Call your deadbeat sister and ask her to return the debit card I let her borrow...
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Old 03-11-2009, 10:20 PM   #5
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Remember a couple of years ago when you were worried that I cheating on you with that 24 year old kid that worked for us and I assured you that I wasn't. Hell I'm old enough to be his mom, well, I lied. Not only was I cheating then I still am.
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Old 03-11-2009, 10:42 PM   #6
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I could do it in 3 seconds...your sister...
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Old 03-11-2009, 10:47 PM   #7
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Honey, dont worry about me, I'll ride the boss home, I mean, get a ride home from the boss....
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Old 03-11-2009, 10:48 PM   #8
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Hey baby, Im gonna be late tonight, I gotta work overtime, but dont call the office, I wont be there...
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Old 03-11-2009, 10:56 PM   #9
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Um..........honeybaby? you know your new car
..........that was sitting in the driveway???
that I wasn't suppose to drive?

um.......
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Old 03-11-2009, 10:59 PM   #10
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Ummm honey, I dont know how the kids threw pudding inside the gun safe, but it looks like it happened around Christmas time.....
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Old 03-11-2009, 11:02 PM   #11
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I've decided to go frigid so uh.......you won't be getting laid for like a month!!!
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Old 03-11-2009, 11:07 PM   #12
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I just got back to the doctor and he said I cant have sex for a month, yes I know baby, but dont feel too badly, he said it was only with you. Oh and I have a follow up appointment next week and the week after and twice the week after that.
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Old 03-11-2009, 11:13 PM   #13
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hi hon, I need to tell you something... your 70 Torino... and the 68 Cougar... well... I needed to get something from under the Torino, so I backed it out of the garage... and I forgot to set the brake.. it rolled down the hill and smashed into the tree across the streeet.... sooorry... ohhhh yes... the Cougar.. well.. as I was reparking the Torino in the garage... I opened the door and it hit the Cougar... so there is this huge dent in the passenger door... and I can't get the door open now either...


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Old 03-11-2009, 11:18 PM   #14
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Baby I dont know where your prize winning hunting dog took off to...Would you mind dropping my car off back off at the detailers?? The dumbshits didn't get all of the dog hair out of the trunk.
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Old 03-12-2009, 07:57 AM   #15
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Well, not that I would ever direct this at my wife, but in the spirit of the thread, this might work!:

ďHey, woman, you still in that snarky mood from last night? No...Hmmm. So, itís not the time of the month? ohhhh...thought that was why you were so touchy; you usually canít wait to get your knickers off...Anyway, I was thinking, and donít take this the wrong way, yeah, like you usually do...Iíve been meaning to say, you really are going out way too much with those strange friends of yours, drinking too much, dressing up like a tramp, behaving like a...and, just so you know, they talk about you behind you back!! And, Eeeww, and how could you! My word, youíve changed! You are not the woman I married! And the house: have you seen the mess? My mother says it stinks! How are you supposed to cook me anything in that kitchen?Ē

Actually, it would probably stun her into silence - then, astute as she is, she would ask me what the dare was, and berate me for being pathetic when I got home...unless it won us a toaster or something!
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Old 03-12-2009, 08:00 AM   #16
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Easy one..."Your Father really is an interferring old bastard..."
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Old 03-12-2009, 08:02 AM   #17
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60 second divorce round here would be....

"Hon, I am in love with another man."

He has ALWAYS said if you can get her she's yours!
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Old 03-12-2009, 08:45 AM   #18
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Hey babe... I had a few of the guys over and showed them that tape we made.... they all think you really should get into the "industry"
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Old 03-12-2009, 07:11 PM   #19
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Get over it, by the way your mom used to sleep around at work with everyone.
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Old 03-12-2009, 07:47 PM   #20
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BTW - Yeah, I've been faking it all this time. You didn't really think you were that good,did you?
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Old 03-12-2009, 11:15 PM   #21
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I'm gonna be late tonight your cousin repoed a trailer and is stopping by so I can help him test out the mattress.
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Old 03-12-2009, 11:36 PM   #22
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umm hunnie.. I um forgot to make the truck payment again..I needed to go shopping and well there wasnt enough left to pay it soo..um well good news is I look hot..bad news..they took the truck.. (actually all i would have to say is I forgot the truck payment and he wouldnt hear the rest cause he would be to busy yelling)
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Old 03-17-2009, 07:27 PM   #23
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Easy......Um honey..remember when I went home to visit? Yeah, I kind of ran into "him", we had a couple of drinks.....I'm trying to remember the rest........
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Old 02-13-2020, 09:00 PM   #24
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I think I could almost anything as long as it was contrary to her opinion.
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Old 03-24-2020, 09:06 PM   #25
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Um.... I've got a boyfriend and size does matter
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