Married And Flirting Chat

Go Back   Married And Flirting Chat > Married And Flirting Chat Forums > Jokes, Stories & Games

Jokes, Stories & Games Have a good joke to tell or a story to share. How about a game to play, Post it here and share it with us.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 09-17-2009, 12:21 AM   #1
BlueEyedMale40
Forum Leader
 
BlueEyedMale40's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: земля
Age: 50
Posts: 6,598
Thanks: 3,434
Thanked 2,480 Times in 2,089 Posts
Blog Entries: 7
BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like
Default The Perfect Attitude for the Perfect Woman...

(Editorial note: I may or may not agree with all the items listed and this is NOT my creation -- I found it on the net.)
  1. I'll swallow it all.... I love the taste.
  2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
  3. I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!
  4. Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?
  5. That was a great fart! Do another one!
  6. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
  7. You're so sexy when you're hungover.
  8. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.
  9. Let's subscribe to Penthouse.
  10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?
  11. Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses.
  12. I'll be outside painting the house.
  13. I love it when you play golf on Sunday's. I just wish you had time to do so on Saturdays too.
  14. Honey... our neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again. Come see!
  15. I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?
  16. No, no, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.
  17. Your mother is way better than mine.
  18. Do me a favor -- forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and get yourself some new golf clubs instead.
  19. I understand fully... our anniversary comes every year. You go for your guys' away weekend.
  20. Oh come on. What do ya say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer, and have my friend Tammy over for a threesome?
  21. Not the darn mall again, let's go to that new strip joint instead.
  22. Listen, I make enough money for both of us. How about you go ahead and retire and let me take care of you?
  23. You need your sleep you big silly. No more nighttime baby feedings for you.
  24. Man, if I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!
  25. I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head, just for you.
BlueEyedMale40 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2009, 12:24 AM   #2
FeIsTy FaV
Flirting Guest
I Love It Here
 
Join Date: May 2008
Age: 55
Posts: 23,277
Thanks: 4,034
Thanked 3,874 Times in 2,948 Posts
FeIsTy FaV Is God Like FeIsTy FaV Is God Like FeIsTy FaV Is God Like FeIsTy FaV Is God Like FeIsTy FaV Is God Like FeIsTy FaV Is God Like FeIsTy FaV Is God Like FeIsTy FaV Is God Like FeIsTy FaV Is God Like FeIsTy FaV Is God Like FeIsTy FaV Is God Like
Default

Ha! That's a guy in drag!
FeIsTy FaV is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to FeIsTy FaV For This Useful Post:
Sneaky (09-17-2009), Tempest (09-17-2009)
Old 09-17-2009, 12:44 AM   #3
BlueEyedMale40
Forum Leader
 
BlueEyedMale40's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: земля
Age: 50
Posts: 6,598
Thanks: 3,434
Thanked 2,480 Times in 2,089 Posts
Blog Entries: 7
BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like BlueEyedMale40 Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by FeIsTy FaV View Post
Ha! That's a guy in drag!
LOL!
BlueEyedMale40 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2009, 07:01 AM   #4
NurseDude66
The clinic is open
 
NurseDude66's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: In your head...
Age: 52
Posts: 1,584
Thanks: 98
Thanked 306 Times in 232 Posts
NurseDude66 Is God Like NurseDude66 Is God Like NurseDude66 Is God Like NurseDude66 Is God Like NurseDude66 Is God Like NurseDude66 Is God Like NurseDude66 Is God Like NurseDude66 Is God Like NurseDude66 Is God Like NurseDude66 Is God Like NurseDude66 Is God Like
Default

I'm speechless, I have NOTHING to add. How do you think that would fly as a personal ad?
__________________
If I'm not on yahoo, I'm probably out leaving surgical instruments in someone
NurseDude66 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2009, 09:39 AM   #5
likesbuttons
Flirting Guest
I Love It Here
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Age: 53
Posts: 2,844
Thanks: 148
Thanked 190 Times in 161 Posts
likesbuttons has a reputation beyond repute likesbuttons has a reputation beyond repute likesbuttons has a reputation beyond repute likesbuttons has a reputation beyond repute likesbuttons has a reputation beyond repute likesbuttons has a reputation beyond repute likesbuttons has a reputation beyond repute likesbuttons has a reputation beyond repute likesbuttons has a reputation beyond repute likesbuttons has a reputation beyond repute likesbuttons has a reputation beyond repute
Default

yeah put that one on CL and see what happens.....omg that would be endless hours of stuff...
likesbuttons is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2009, 10:33 AM   #6
glamourgirl
*~La Bella Vita~*
 
glamourgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: in a really great dress....
Age: 51
Posts: 11,902
Thanks: 1,953
Thanked 1,979 Times in 1,460 Posts
glamourgirl Is God Like glamourgirl Is God Like glamourgirl Is God Like glamourgirl Is God Like glamourgirl Is God Like glamourgirl Is God Like glamourgirl Is God Like glamourgirl Is God Like glamourgirl Is God Like glamourgirl Is God Like glamourgirl Is God Like
Default

OMG!
__________________
~In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take...~
glamourgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2009, 03:52 AM   #7
leighm.
Flirting God
 
leighm.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Age: 59
Posts: 2,391
Thanks: 405
Thanked 469 Times in 376 Posts
Blog Entries: 3
leighm. Is God Like leighm. Is God Like leighm. Is God Like leighm. Is God Like leighm. Is God Like leighm. Is God Like leighm. Is God Like leighm. Is God Like leighm. Is God Like leighm. Is God Like leighm. Is God Like
Default

where's the version for us ladies?
__________________
Good things come to those who wait. Not sure how long one needs to wait though!!
leighm. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2013, 07:07 PM   #8
Jelly
Bite Me
 
Jelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Mayberry
Age: 40
Posts: 18,494
Thanks: 9,076
Thanked 9,454 Times in 5,160 Posts
Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueEyedMale40 View Post
(Editorial note: I may or may not agree with all the items listed and this is NOT my creation -- I found it on the net.)
  1. I'll swallow it all.... I love the taste.
  2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
  3. I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!
  4. Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?
  5. That was a great fart! Do another one!
  6. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
  7. You're so sexy when you're hungover.
  8. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.
  9. Let's subscribe to Penthouse.
  10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?
  11. Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses.
  12. I'll be outside painting the house.
  13. I love it when you play golf on Sunday's. I just wish you had time to do so on Saturdays too.
  14. Honey... our neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again. Come see!
  15. I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?
  16. No, no, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.
  17. Your mother is way better than mine.
  18. Do me a favor -- forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and get yourself some new golf clubs instead.
  19. I understand fully... our anniversary comes every year. You go for your guys' away weekend.
  20. Oh come on. What do ya say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer, and have my friend Tammy over for a threesome?
  21. Not the darn mall again, let's go to that new strip joint instead.
  22. Listen, I make enough money for both of us. How about you go ahead and retire and let me take care of you?
  23. You need your sleep you big silly. No more nighttime baby feedings for you.
  24. Man, if I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!
  25. I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head, just for you.

Wow .. Who posted this about me? You got #5 wrong but otherwise get outta my head
__________________
Jelly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2013, 08:34 PM   #9
datyconnoisseur
Flirting God
 
datyconnoisseur's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Age: 37
Posts: 747
Thanks: 120
Thanked 203 Times in 158 Posts
datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jelly View Post
Wow .. Who posted this about me? You got #5 wrong but otherwise get outta my head

Just when I decided I would never get married ever again.......
datyconnoisseur is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to datyconnoisseur For This Useful Post:
Jelly (09-15-2013)
Old 09-15-2013, 08:36 PM   #10
oldandnaked
Flirting God
 
oldandnaked's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Southern California
Age: 71
Posts: 14,478
Thanks: 2,248
Thanked 7,374 Times in 4,850 Posts
Blog Entries: 5
oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by datyconnoisseur View Post
Just when I decided I would never get married ever again.......
You're much more forgiving than I.

For me not complying to #5 is a deal breaker.
__________________
Tall, Dark and Average
oldandnaked is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to oldandnaked For This Useful Post:
Jelly (09-15-2013)
Old 09-15-2013, 08:37 PM   #11
datyconnoisseur
Flirting God
 
datyconnoisseur's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Age: 37
Posts: 747
Thanks: 120
Thanked 203 Times in 158 Posts
datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by oldandnaked View Post
You're much more forgiving than I.

For me not complying to #5 is a deal breaker.
It's all about compromise. The perfect woman is a myth
datyconnoisseur is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2013, 08:40 PM   #12
Jelly
Bite Me
 
Jelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Mayberry
Age: 40
Posts: 18,494
Thanks: 9,076
Thanked 9,454 Times in 5,160 Posts
Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like Jelly Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by oldandnaked View Post
You're much more forgiving than I.

For me not complying to #5 is a deal breaker.
What?? I didn't say what I WOULD say!
__________________
Jelly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2013, 08:45 PM   #13
datyconnoisseur
Flirting God
 
datyconnoisseur's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Age: 37
Posts: 747
Thanks: 120
Thanked 203 Times in 158 Posts
datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute datyconnoisseur has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jelly View Post
What?? I didn't say what I WOULD say!
I can do better.................. See???
datyconnoisseur is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to datyconnoisseur For This Useful Post:
Jelly (09-15-2013)
Old 09-15-2013, 08:45 PM   #14
oldandnaked
Flirting God
 
oldandnaked's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Southern California
Age: 71
Posts: 14,478
Thanks: 2,248
Thanked 7,374 Times in 4,850 Posts
Blog Entries: 5
oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jelly View Post
What?? I didn't say what I WOULD say!
I rescind my objection.

Please don't tell me what you would say and leave that to my vivid imagination.
__________________
Tall, Dark and Average
oldandnaked is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to oldandnaked For This Useful Post:
Jelly (09-15-2013)
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:47 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.