Married And Flirting Chat

Go Back   Married And Flirting Chat > Married And Flirting Chat Forums > Jokes, Stories & Games

Jokes, Stories & Games Have a good joke to tell or a story to share. How about a game to play, Post it here and share it with us.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 11-02-2012, 04:25 AM   #1
britannicus
Super Flirt
 
britannicus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Derby UK
Age: 56
Posts: 160
Thanks: 5
Thanked 16 Times in 14 Posts
Blog Entries: 6
britannicus has a reputation beyond repute britannicus has a reputation beyond repute britannicus has a reputation beyond repute britannicus has a reputation beyond repute britannicus has a reputation beyond repute britannicus has a reputation beyond repute britannicus has a reputation beyond repute britannicus has a reputation beyond repute britannicus has a reputation beyond repute britannicus has a reputation beyond repute britannicus has a reputation beyond repute
Default Unromantic foreplay

Inspired by the "Canadian Diner" debate - see fave sexula positions, I'm wondering what people's fave unromatic foreplay :

I'll start the ball rolling with a simple

"brace yourself Mary!"
britannicus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-04-2012, 01:57 PM   #2
mgirl2011
Ran away with X...
I Love It Here
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Age: 43
Posts: 8,518
Thanks: 6,095
Thanked 4,670 Times in 2,967 Posts
Blog Entries: 4
mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like
Default

fine. I guess. Get on.
mgirl2011 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to mgirl2011 For This Useful Post:
SGina (11-05-2012)
Old 11-04-2012, 01:58 PM   #3
Trainwreck78
Married And Flirting
 
Trainwreck78's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Michigan
Age: 40
Posts: 46
Thanks: 0
Thanked 12 Times in 8 Posts
Trainwreck78 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Let's do this!
Trainwreck78 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-04-2012, 02:05 PM   #4
mgirl2011
Ran away with X...
I Love It Here
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Age: 43
Posts: 8,518
Thanks: 6,095
Thanked 4,670 Times in 2,967 Posts
Blog Entries: 4
mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like
Default

one sec, I just want to keep one leg in my sweatpants.
mgirl2011 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-04-2012, 02:50 PM   #5
cougarmomma
Ready's lady
 
cougarmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: East coast gal
Age: 49
Posts: 12,382
Thanks: 2,639
Thanked 2,872 Times in 2,091 Posts
cougarmomma Is God Like cougarmomma Is God Like cougarmomma Is God Like cougarmomma Is God Like cougarmomma Is God Like cougarmomma Is God Like cougarmomma Is God Like cougarmomma Is God Like cougarmomma Is God Like cougarmomma Is God Like cougarmomma Is God Like
Default

My husband feeling my boobs like they're produce at the grocery store, could he get any less excited??
cougarmomma is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to cougarmomma For This Useful Post:
artemis (11-05-2012), just4fun4me2 (11-06-2012), KayleeThatsMe (11-06-2012), La Croix (11-05-2012), mgirl2011 (11-05-2012), Texmale1974 (11-06-2012)
Old 11-04-2012, 02:52 PM   #6
TBoyBob
Explosive!
 
TBoyBob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: TX
Age: 40
Posts: 4,169
Thanks: 406
Thanked 615 Times in 529 Posts
TBoyBob Is God Like TBoyBob Is God Like TBoyBob Is God Like TBoyBob Is God Like TBoyBob Is God Like TBoyBob Is God Like TBoyBob Is God Like TBoyBob Is God Like TBoyBob Is God Like TBoyBob Is God Like TBoyBob Is God Like
Default

detailing out her last conversation with one of the hundreds of people in her family...typical sex talk in my bedroom.
__________________
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
TBoyBob is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-04-2012, 02:56 PM   #7
Blkruby
~*~ Sarcastic Piscean ~*~
 
Blkruby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: the rotten apple
Posts: 4,154
Thanks: 909
Thanked 1,030 Times in 836 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
Blkruby Is God Like Blkruby Is God Like Blkruby Is God Like Blkruby Is God Like Blkruby Is God Like Blkruby Is God Like Blkruby Is God Like Blkruby Is God Like Blkruby Is God Like Blkruby Is God Like Blkruby Is God Like
Default

there are just so many i cant choose...
__________________
When life gives you skittles, throw them at people and yell, "Taste the freakin' rainbow!"
dis a fi mi ... nuff said
Blkruby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-04-2012, 03:30 PM   #8
Doctor Dreamy 50
Flirting God
 
Doctor Dreamy 50's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: NY wall st.
Age: 56
Posts: 6,076
Thanks: 384
Thanked 675 Times in 604 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
Doctor Dreamy 50 Is God Like Doctor Dreamy 50 Is God Like Doctor Dreamy 50 Is God Like Doctor Dreamy 50 Is God Like Doctor Dreamy 50 Is God Like Doctor Dreamy 50 Is God Like Doctor Dreamy 50 Is God Like Doctor Dreamy 50 Is God Like Doctor Dreamy 50 Is God Like Doctor Dreamy 50 Is God Like Doctor Dreamy 50 Is God Like
Default

I am wet already why arent you LOL
Doctor Dreamy 50 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2012, 07:23 AM   #9
mgirl2011
Ran away with X...
I Love It Here
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Age: 43
Posts: 8,518
Thanks: 6,095
Thanked 4,670 Times in 2,967 Posts
Blog Entries: 4
mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like mgirl2011 Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by cougarmomma View Post
My husband feeling my boobs like they're produce at the grocery store, could he get any less excited??

only if he starts thumping them like a watermelon... I mean.. you know.. that's kind of out of line.
mgirl2011 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to mgirl2011 For This Useful Post:
cougarmomma (11-05-2012)
Old 11-05-2012, 01:35 PM   #10
hrguyhere
Married And Flirting
I'm New Here
 
hrguyhere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Age: 48
Posts: 81
Thanks: 0
Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts
hrguyhere has a reputation beyond repute hrguyhere has a reputation beyond repute hrguyhere has a reputation beyond repute hrguyhere has a reputation beyond repute hrguyhere has a reputation beyond repute hrguyhere has a reputation beyond repute hrguyhere has a reputation beyond repute hrguyhere has a reputation beyond repute hrguyhere has a reputation beyond repute hrguyhere has a reputation beyond repute hrguyhere has a reputation beyond repute
Default

don't do that
hrguyhere is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2012, 01:39 PM   #11
SGina
The S is for SuperGirl
 
SGina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Age: 44
Posts: 1,088
Thanks: 471
Thanked 568 Times in 443 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
SGina Is God Like SGina Is God Like SGina Is God Like SGina Is God Like SGina Is God Like SGina Is God Like SGina Is God Like SGina Is God Like SGina Is God Like SGina Is God Like SGina Is God Like
Default

Just hurry up
SGina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2012, 01:46 PM   #12
TomIAm
Ask me about my mudhole
 
TomIAm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Age: 53
Posts: 38,357
Thanks: 10,193
Thanked 17,133 Times in 9,956 Posts
Blog Entries: 9
TomIAm Is God Like TomIAm Is God Like TomIAm Is God Like TomIAm Is God Like TomIAm Is God Like TomIAm Is God Like TomIAm Is God Like TomIAm Is God Like TomIAm Is God Like TomIAm Is God Like TomIAm Is God Like
Default

"how come you can get hard without me telling you to but I have to hound you to take out the trash?"
__________________
"The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it" - Orwell
TomIAm is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to TomIAm For This Useful Post:
artemis (11-05-2012)
Old 11-05-2012, 01:47 PM   #13
ilovetospike
Thread Ruiner
 
ilovetospike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: neither here nor there
Age: 55
Posts: 24,780
Thanks: 3,403
Thanked 8,811 Times in 7,219 Posts
ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like
Default

My ex didn't do it like that!
__________________
I lead the league in eye rolls.

ilovetospike is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2012, 01:48 PM   #14
timmy65
You can't change the past
 
timmy65's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: south of the great white north
Age: 53
Posts: 4,329
Thanks: 3,665
Thanked 1,226 Times in 1,016 Posts
timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like
Default

just let me finish reading this chapter
timmy65 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2012, 01:49 PM   #15
timmy65
You can't change the past
 
timmy65's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: south of the great white north
Age: 53
Posts: 4,329
Thanks: 3,665
Thanked 1,226 Times in 1,016 Posts
timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like
Default

can you get into this position?
timmy65 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2012, 01:49 PM   #16
IL*flirt31
Flirting God
 
IL*flirt31's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Age: 48
Posts: 11,409
Thanks: 4,778
Thanked 4,524 Times in 3,253 Posts
Blog Entries: 12
IL*flirt31 Is God Like IL*flirt31 Is God Like IL*flirt31 Is God Like IL*flirt31 Is God Like IL*flirt31 Is God Like IL*flirt31 Is God Like IL*flirt31 Is God Like IL*flirt31 Is God Like IL*flirt31 Is God Like IL*flirt31 Is God Like IL*flirt31 Is God Like
Default

Hey hon, take one for the team tonight, k?
IL*flirt31 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2012, 01:50 PM   #17
timmy65
You can't change the past
 
timmy65's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: south of the great white north
Age: 53
Posts: 4,329
Thanks: 3,665
Thanked 1,226 Times in 1,016 Posts
timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like timmy65 Is God Like
Default

are you awake?
timmy65 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2012, 01:51 PM   #18
ilovetospike
Thread Ruiner
 
ilovetospike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: neither here nor there
Age: 55
Posts: 24,780
Thanks: 3,403
Thanked 8,811 Times in 7,219 Posts
ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like
Default

just plug your nose and keep sucking
__________________
I lead the league in eye rolls.

ilovetospike is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ilovetospike For This Useful Post:
KayleeThatsMe (11-06-2012)
Old 11-05-2012, 01:57 PM   #19
.Cotties
Flirting Guest
I Love It Here
 
.Cotties's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Age: 44
Posts: 37,266
Thanks: 1,413
Thanked 5,684 Times in 4,376 Posts
Blog Entries: 4
.Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like .Cotties Is God Like
Default

just go back to sleep
.Cotties is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2012, 01:59 PM   #20
La Croix
Loa...
 
La Croix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Way Down Yonder
Age: 45
Posts: 5,374
Thanks: 706
Thanked 1,710 Times in 1,378 Posts
La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like
Default

"No, it's a medicated powder."
__________________
Voodoo Unto Others...
La Croix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2012, 01:59 PM   #21
La Croix
Loa...
 
La Croix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Way Down Yonder
Age: 45
Posts: 5,374
Thanks: 706
Thanked 1,710 Times in 1,378 Posts
La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like
Default

Hang on let me go pee first.
__________________
Voodoo Unto Others...
La Croix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2012, 02:01 PM   #22
ilovetospike
Thread Ruiner
 
ilovetospike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: neither here nor there
Age: 55
Posts: 24,780
Thanks: 3,403
Thanked 8,811 Times in 7,219 Posts
ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like
Default

just pretend they aren't watching...
__________________
I lead the league in eye rolls.

ilovetospike is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2012, 02:03 PM   #23
daisyduck
***Beautiful disaster ***
 
daisyduck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Down south
Age: 37
Posts: 30,100
Thanks: 6,667
Thanked 6,134 Times in 4,887 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like
Default

Let me drink this keg first
__________________
daisyduck is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2012, 02:04 PM   #24
ilovetospike
Thread Ruiner
 
ilovetospike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: neither here nor there
Age: 55
Posts: 24,780
Thanks: 3,403
Thanked 8,811 Times in 7,219 Posts
ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like
Default

can you hold this fold of thigh blubber for me, please?
__________________
I lead the league in eye rolls.

ilovetospike is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2012, 02:05 PM   #25
La Croix
Loa...
 
La Croix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Way Down Yonder
Age: 45
Posts: 5,374
Thanks: 706
Thanked 1,710 Times in 1,378 Posts
La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like La Croix Is God Like
Default

That? That wasn't a fart. Now THIS...this is a fart.....
__________________
Voodoo Unto Others...
La Croix is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:28 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.