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Old 07-03-2018, 05:17 AM   #626
Alpheius
Greek god who can't draw
 
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when the only heads you turn are on a screwdriver.
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Old 07-03-2018, 05:19 AM   #627
Alpheius
Greek god who can't draw
 
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You like the same songs as today's teens, except yours are three remakes ago.
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Old 07-04-2018, 10:08 PM   #628
RisingSun
NEW YEAR NEW HOPES!
 
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My tongue starts to get tired after an hour of Oral Felatio
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THE PROBLEM WITH " Social Justice" IS THAT IT IGNORES THE " Rule of Law" and " Simple Truth"
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Old 07-05-2018, 02:07 AM   #629
St. Jimmy
Come over here
 
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The jet lag lasts longer than the entire trip.
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Old 07-05-2018, 01:09 PM   #630
Hot Dog
See y'all soon..!
 
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Sandwiches get replaced by salads.
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Old 07-05-2018, 01:19 PM   #631
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Elusive Flirting Goddess
 
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If there are signs I hope they are big otherwise I need to find some reading glasses
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“Beauty isn't about having a pretty face it's about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and a pretty soul.”
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Old 07-05-2018, 01:46 PM   #632
flake68
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When you go downstairs to get a drink… twice… and Forget the drink...twice...
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Old 07-05-2018, 02:07 PM   #633
Ecstasy
Finish this sentence...
 
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You look forward to staying in and sleeping early than staying up late
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Old 07-05-2018, 05:06 PM   #634
hijiller
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Hugh Grant looks old.
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Old 07-05-2018, 05:09 PM   #635
SpecialK
bent but never broken..
 
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when you look at a big bed, you think sleep instead of sex.
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I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
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Old 07-10-2018, 12:01 PM   #636
Hot Dog
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"Happy hour" makes you think of an early morning breakfast at the Waffle House.
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Old 07-11-2018, 06:47 AM   #637
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The only Boy Band you know..is The Bay City Rollers.
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Old 07-11-2018, 09:04 AM   #638
dixiechik
Can you see me now?
 
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I've stopped taking things for granted.
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If I offend you cry me a river, I'll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears while munching on chips and working on my tan.
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Old 07-11-2018, 09:08 AM   #639
hijiller
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Buying shoes for comfort and stability instead of style.

This is not happening to me yet, but if I had any sense, it would.
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Old 07-11-2018, 09:25 AM   #640
madmax
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When you transcribe mp3's to cassette so you can take them on your morning run with you
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Old 07-11-2018, 01:08 PM   #641
Violetsrblue
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
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I have to be mindful of his back when we get it on
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Old 07-11-2018, 01:23 PM   #642
flirtingenie
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When the doctor tells you at your age you have to be careful because you could easy break a bone .
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Old 07-11-2018, 01:28 PM   #643
ringaroses
Being Me
 
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you didnt get dizzy every time you turned round lol
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Old 07-11-2018, 02:04 PM   #644
Arcon
Everything I do
 
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You where the phones cords are and the youngster at the counter looks at you like you sprouted 5 extra heads
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Old 07-11-2018, 02:05 PM   #645
gabrielle22
Coniglio Fero'c'e
 
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when you want to get a cane so you can legally whap people.
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Old 07-11-2018, 02:07 PM   #646
Arcon
Everything I do
 
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When you tell people you use to actaully talk to people face to face
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Old 07-11-2018, 02:11 PM   #647
David
Hard as marble...
 
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When you start forgetting what you're going to...ummm... uh... hmmm...
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Old 07-11-2018, 02:17 PM   #648
flirtingenie
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When you forget where you put things and they are right there in front of you. oh is that being blind or old.
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Old 07-11-2018, 10:56 PM   #649
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when you lie about your age and make yourself younger
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Old 07-11-2018, 11:02 PM   #650
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When your niece and nephew are as tall as you are and you can remember when they were just a baby .
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