Married And Flirting Chat

Go Back   Married And Flirting Chat > Married And Flirting Chat Forums > Jokes, Stories & Games

Jokes, Stories & Games Have a good joke to tell or a story to share. How about a game to play, Post it here and share it with us.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-03-2018, 04:17 AM   #626
Alpheius
Greek god who can't draw
 
Alpheius's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Age: 38
Posts: 2,794
Thanks: 1,038
Thanked 977 Times in 725 Posts
Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like
Default

when the only heads you turn are on a screwdriver.
Alpheius is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Alpheius For This Useful Post:
Iceburn (07-03-2018)
Old 07-03-2018, 04:19 AM   #627
Alpheius
Greek god who can't draw
 
Alpheius's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Age: 38
Posts: 2,794
Thanks: 1,038
Thanked 977 Times in 725 Posts
Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like Alpheius Is God Like
Default

You like the same songs as today's teens, except yours are three remakes ago.
Alpheius is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 07-04-2018, 09:08 PM   #628
RisingSun
2nd qtr. 4.8% GDP
 
RisingSun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Hometown
Age: 66
Posts: 19,595
Thanks: 5,225
Thanked 2,981 Times in 2,760 Posts
RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like
Default

My tongue starts to get tired after an hour of Oral Felatio
__________________
RisingSun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-05-2018, 01:07 AM   #629
St. Jimmy
Gone fishing
 
St. Jimmy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: In the warm California sun
Age: 56
Posts: 3,855
Thanks: 721
Thanked 668 Times in 562 Posts
St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like
Default

The jet lag lasts longer than the entire trip.
St. Jimmy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-05-2018, 12:09 PM   #630
Hot Dog
Been a long time
 
Hot Dog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Age: 50
Posts: 4,501
Thanks: 262
Thanked 485 Times in 416 Posts
Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like
Default

Sandwiches get replaced by salads.
Hot Dog is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Hot Dog For This Useful Post:
ringaroses (07-11-2018)
Old 07-05-2018, 12:19 PM   #631
SunnyD
Elusive Flirting Goddess
 
SunnyD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Forever Ever After
Age: 51
Posts: 27,414
Thanks: 10,293
Thanked 13,998 Times in 8,610 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
SunnyD Is God Like SunnyD Is God Like SunnyD Is God Like SunnyD Is God Like SunnyD Is God Like SunnyD Is God Like SunnyD Is God Like SunnyD Is God Like SunnyD Is God Like SunnyD Is God Like SunnyD Is God Like
Default

If there are signs I hope they are big otherwise I need to find some reading glasses
__________________
“Beauty isn't about having a pretty face it's about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and a pretty soul.”
SunnyD is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SunnyD For This Useful Post:
gabrielle22 (07-11-2018), hijiller (07-11-2018), Iceburn (07-11-2018)
Old 07-05-2018, 12:46 PM   #632
flake68
Free
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Here and there
Age: 49
Posts: 3,810
Thanks: 1,065
Thanked 632 Times in 497 Posts
flake68 Is God Like flake68 Is God Like flake68 Is God Like flake68 Is God Like flake68 Is God Like flake68 Is God Like flake68 Is God Like flake68 Is God Like flake68 Is God Like flake68 Is God Like flake68 Is God Like
Default

When you go downstairs to get a drink… twice… and Forget the drink...twice...
flake68 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to flake68 For This Useful Post:
hijiller (07-05-2018)
Old 07-05-2018, 01:07 PM   #633
Ecstasy
Finish this sentence...
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Right where I should be...
Age: 38
Posts: 6,668
Thanks: 2,596
Thanked 3,792 Times in 1,822 Posts
Ecstasy Is God Like Ecstasy Is God Like Ecstasy Is God Like Ecstasy Is God Like Ecstasy Is God Like Ecstasy Is God Like Ecstasy Is God Like Ecstasy Is God Like Ecstasy Is God Like Ecstasy Is God Like Ecstasy Is God Like
Default

You look forward to staying in and sleeping early than staying up late
__________________
U
Ecstasy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-05-2018, 04:06 PM   #634
hijiller
One foot on land, one on
 
hijiller's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: In a New York state of mind
Age: 43
Posts: 28,364
Thanks: 10,754
Thanked 12,414 Times in 8,470 Posts
Blog Entries: 3
hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like
Default

Hugh Grant looks old.
hijiller is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to hijiller For This Useful Post:
Alpheius (07-05-2018)
Old 07-05-2018, 04:09 PM   #635
SpecialK
not feeling it anymore...
 
SpecialK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Currently Panhandling
Age: 52
Posts: 19,352
Thanks: 8,232
Thanked 7,064 Times in 5,512 Posts
Blog Entries: 5
SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like
Default

when you look at a big bed, you think sleep instead of sex.
__________________
I hope the guy that invented autocorrect burns in HELLO!
SpecialK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-10-2018, 11:01 AM   #636
Hot Dog
Been a long time
 
Hot Dog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Age: 50
Posts: 4,501
Thanks: 262
Thanked 485 Times in 416 Posts
Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like Hot Dog Is God Like
Default

"Happy hour" makes you think of an early morning breakfast at the Waffle House.
Hot Dog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2018, 05:47 AM   #637
Iceburn
Thread Terrorist
 
Iceburn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: In the land of Naughty Sneakies
Age: 59
Posts: 48,670
Thanks: 22,167
Thanked 25,494 Times in 20,185 Posts
Blog Entries: 16
Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like
Default

The only Boy Band you know..is The Bay City Rollers.
__________________
~ A good man has few enemies. A ruthless man has none ~
Iceburn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2018, 08:04 AM   #638
dixiechik
Can you see me now?
 
dixiechik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Where peaches grow and the confederate flag flows
Age: 47
Posts: 23,958
Thanks: 7,078
Thanked 9,059 Times in 5,812 Posts
dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like dixiechik Is God Like
Default

I've stopped taking things for granted.
__________________

If I offend you cry me a river, I'll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears while munching on chips and working on my tan.
dixiechik is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2018, 08:08 AM   #639
hijiller
One foot on land, one on
 
hijiller's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: In a New York state of mind
Age: 43
Posts: 28,364
Thanks: 10,754
Thanked 12,414 Times in 8,470 Posts
Blog Entries: 3
hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like
Default

Buying shoes for comfort and stability instead of style.

This is not happening to me yet, but if I had any sense, it would.
hijiller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2018, 08:25 AM   #640
madmax
Donator
 
madmax's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Age: 58
Posts: 20,196
Thanks: 7,291
Thanked 6,211 Times in 4,849 Posts
madmax Is God Like madmax Is God Like madmax Is God Like madmax Is God Like madmax Is God Like madmax Is God Like madmax Is God Like madmax Is God Like madmax Is God Like madmax Is God Like madmax Is God Like
Default

When you transcribe mp3's to cassette so you can take them on your morning run with you
__________________
madmax is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to madmax For This Useful Post:
hijiller (07-11-2018)
Old 07-11-2018, 12:08 PM   #641
Violetsrblue
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
Violetsrblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: West
Age: 48
Posts: 9,382
Thanks: 11,094
Thanked 5,241 Times in 3,294 Posts
Blog Entries: 2
Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like
Default

I have to be mindful of his back when we get it on
Violetsrblue is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Violetsrblue For This Useful Post:
hijiller (07-11-2018)
Old 07-11-2018, 12:23 PM   #642
flirtingenie
Silver Lady
 
flirtingenie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Arkansas
Age: 59
Posts: 15,556
Thanks: 4,074
Thanked 3,472 Times in 2,806 Posts
Blog Entries: 3
flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like
Default

When the doctor tells you at your age you have to be careful because you could easy break a bone .
__________________
flirtingenie is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to flirtingenie For This Useful Post:
hijiller (07-11-2018)
Old 07-11-2018, 12:28 PM   #643
ringaroses
Being Me
 
ringaroses's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: in your fantasy
Age: 57
Posts: 12,883
Thanks: 11,062
Thanked 7,614 Times in 5,689 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like ringaroses Is God Like
Default

you didnt get dizzy every time you turned round lol
__________________
.There are a lot of judgemental people in the world, and I think all those people are worthless dirtballs.
ringaroses is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2018, 01:04 PM   #644
Arcon
Everything I do
 
Arcon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Age: 43
Posts: 6,202
Thanks: 623
Thanked 1,463 Times in 1,253 Posts
Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like
Default

You where the phones cords are and the youngster at the counter looks at you like you sprouted 5 extra heads
__________________
Robin Hood
Arcon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2018, 01:05 PM   #645
gabrielle22
Coniglio Fero'c'e
 
gabrielle22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: In the Corner
Age: 45
Posts: 33,519
Thanks: 18,628
Thanked 15,871 Times in 11,365 Posts
Blog Entries: 10
gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like
Default

when you want to get a cane so you can legally whap people.
gabrielle22 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2018, 01:07 PM   #646
Arcon
Everything I do
 
Arcon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Age: 43
Posts: 6,202
Thanks: 623
Thanked 1,463 Times in 1,253 Posts
Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like Arcon Is God Like
Default

When you tell people you use to actaully talk to people face to face
__________________
Robin Hood
Arcon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2018, 01:11 PM   #647
David
Cerebral Flirt
 
David's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Your Nether Region
Age: 57
Posts: 689
Thanks: 137
Thanked 146 Times in 138 Posts
David has a reputation beyond repute David has a reputation beyond repute David has a reputation beyond repute David has a reputation beyond repute David has a reputation beyond repute David has a reputation beyond repute David has a reputation beyond repute David has a reputation beyond repute David has a reputation beyond repute David has a reputation beyond repute David has a reputation beyond repute
Default

When you start forgetting what you're going to...ummm... uh... hmmm...
__________________
I do not have a dirty mind... just an active imagination
David is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to David For This Useful Post:
hijiller (07-11-2018)
Old 07-11-2018, 01:17 PM   #648
flirtingenie
Silver Lady
 
flirtingenie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Arkansas
Age: 59
Posts: 15,556
Thanks: 4,074
Thanked 3,472 Times in 2,806 Posts
Blog Entries: 3
flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like
Default

When you forget where you put things and they are right there in front of you. oh is that being blind or old.
__________________
flirtingenie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2018, 09:56 PM   #649
JerseyGirl
(。♥‿♥。)
 
JerseyGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Age: 52
Posts: 45,457
Thanks: 17,427
Thanked 18,523 Times in 14,385 Posts
JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like JerseyGirl Is God Like
Default

when you lie about your age and make yourself younger
JerseyGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2018, 10:02 PM   #650
flirtingenie
Silver Lady
 
flirtingenie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Arkansas
Age: 59
Posts: 15,556
Thanks: 4,074
Thanked 3,472 Times in 2,806 Posts
Blog Entries: 3
flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like
Default

When your niece and nephew are as tall as you are and you can remember when they were just a baby .
__________________
flirtingenie is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:40 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.