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Old 04-28-2014, 04:29 PM   #4501
theoriginalnumber8
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Dear football (soccer!!),

You never used to leave me feeling this way when I used to play you, I remember the days when I could play three or four times a week and not be left feeling like I am now after playing once!!

Sincerely,

Every single muscle in my entire body!!!
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Old 04-28-2014, 04:36 PM   #4502
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Dear big toe

I know I smashed the crap out of you, but dang hurry up and turn back to the normal color.

Sincerely,
Spent 40 bucks on a Pedi
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Old 04-30-2014, 08:48 PM   #4503
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Dear YOU...
Thank you for being you! For being there for me when I up....and when I am down....to listen....to brighten up my day...and lets not forget the splash of naughty!!!
xoxo
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Old 04-30-2014, 08:50 PM   #4504
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Dear Amazing....

Thank you for giving me a terminal smile, unconditional caring and so many wonderful laughs!!

Sincerely,

The BOSS of you!
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Old 04-30-2014, 08:54 PM   #4505
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Dear Cat; sitting on the coffee table and licking your junk with furious abandon is cheap carnival showmanship and just plain showing off
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Old 05-07-2014, 03:59 PM   #4506
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Dear Trinity,
If you keep taunting me with texts of your pussy, I'm breaking out the cooter.
Love,
JaG
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Old 05-07-2014, 04:02 PM   #4507
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Dear JAG
Did you realize your phone is still forwarding all your texts to me?
Love SG
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Old 05-07-2014, 04:04 PM   #4508
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Dear SG,
I remember.
I also have all your Jergens.
Love,
Raw Dog
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Old 05-07-2014, 09:22 PM   #4509
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Dear nutjob,

No...

Sincerely,
one of your biggest fans
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Old 05-07-2014, 10:10 PM   #4510
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Dear secret crush,
Just give me a sign that I am not wasting my time.
Sincerely.
Ready to give up
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Old 05-07-2014, 11:05 PM   #4511
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Dear Cancer!!
.......FUCK YOU!!
Sincerely always praying!!
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Old 05-07-2014, 11:10 PM   #4512
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Girl View Post
Dear Trinity,
If you keep taunting me with texts of your pussy, I'm breaking out the cooter.
Love,
JaG

Dear Jag,
Thanks for the cooter. Btw, you're welcome!
Sincerely
Your Cooter Buddy
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Old 05-18-2014, 05:14 PM   #4513
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Dear you
I'm afraid we have to call it a day - our love affair is over. Well, really we were together more out of a sense of obligation and duty. I made you a low priority - just like cleaning the car. I'm sorry I left you in a mess - sometimes I honestly didn't have a clue what I was doing. I didn't mean to destroy you.
But I got stung - and burnt too. And I'm not even going to mention all those pricks! But it was worth it as every now and again you'd surprise me with some beautiful roses or a purple iris.
I am sorry - I just didn't take care of you the way I should have.
So garden - I'd like to introduce you to John, the new gardener. He will look after you the way you are meant to be taken care of. You will truly flourish without me!
It's time to say goodbye
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Old 05-18-2014, 05:20 PM   #4514
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Dear cat;
Playing cirque du soleil on the drapes is not cool...not cool at all
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Old 05-18-2014, 05:23 PM   #4515
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Dear future,
I see how bright you are. I'm ready. I know it's not time yet but I've waited nearly 49 years. How much longer am I supposed to wait for this? The plans are in the works. Please don't take this from me. I'm saving an planning. I'm even getting my bikini body in shape for this. My friends are doing all the same.

Sincerely,
50 only comes once
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Old 05-18-2014, 05:39 PM   #4516
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Dear Christmas Past and Present,

Why do you keep returning? I really think it is YOU who needs to answer that question, not ME. I am not the one moving. I am standing still or staying where I am~ away from you. You are the one moving towards me. Don't move any closer to me until you can answer that question honestly and confidently knowing what it is YOU want from me.

Sincerely,
Christmas Future
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Old 05-18-2014, 10:18 PM   #4517
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Dear Karma,

I have paid my dues, several times over. Please don't mess this up for me.

Sincerely,

I'm too excited to sleep
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Old 05-18-2014, 11:14 PM   #4518
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Dear Birthday Santa,

I am so excited, I can hardly sit still! I don't know how you guessed when my birthday was, but I am so glad you did. I LOVE my birthday and last year I turned 50 (boo!) so this year will be extra, special fun.

I don't want to tell you what to do or anything, but can you believe in 51 years, no one has EVER given me a SURPRISE party?

Anyway, just wanted to say thank you new best pal and if Karma is real, you are going to have a fucking awesomely wicked good time!

Love,
The Birthday Girl (in 3 days)
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Old 05-18-2014, 11:51 PM   #4519
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Dear piece of shit
....fuck you and your attitude..She was loved by many and even though she was not my dads wife in the LORDS eyes they were married in each others eyes for the last 40 years...You don't need a piece of paper to prove your love and to be happy..you love your sister, but funny how you were not there for the last few years and especially when she was on her last few days or even there for her service..

Sincerely...ME!!
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Old 05-19-2014, 06:52 AM   #4520
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Dear "Beast",

I'm breaking up with u for another week and a half, I will miss you but not your 36 gallon gas tank...It' not me, it's you...And escalating petrol prices...The Caddy will never measure up to your superb size....It does matter...Until next paycheck...

Sincerely,
Sad Owner
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Old 05-19-2014, 10:57 AM   #4521
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerseyGirl View Post
Dear Cancer!!
.......FUCK YOU!!
Sincerely always praying!!
Perfectly stated!
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Old 05-19-2014, 11:01 AM   #4522
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Dear Playa,

Sincerely,
Da Coach
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Old 05-19-2014, 02:21 PM   #4523
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Dear Diet

Please work for me so that I can have a bikini body again by summer

Thanks

Sincerely here's hoping.
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Old 05-21-2014, 01:12 PM   #4524
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Dear Sun,

Come out, come out, wherever you are..

Sincerely,
Glowing In The Dark
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Old 05-21-2014, 01:53 PM   #4525
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Dear sleep, come back give me your presence for 3 more hrs


Sincerely, Insomniac
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