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Everyday Life For Married Couples A forum for couples to chat about your everyday married life. This would be a good place for women and men to get to know eachother.

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Old 02-16-2007, 06:47 AM   #26
MCat
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We can't solve your problem here in cyberspace....if you really want to get help you should get it from professionals face to face. Everyone has situations with their kids...I personally would go to my pastor first if I needed serious help with my children that my husband or I couldn't manage on our own.

Good Luck.....

P.S. To me it sounds like you are just looking for someone to tell you its ok to give up on your daughter and wife so you can run away to Mexico. Running away wouldn't be an answer for me, but it may work for you.....Go
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Old 02-16-2007, 07:24 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nsamale
I dont think any of u really get it. If i try and disipline our daughter my wife will leave with her. Ao really whos llife am i protecting. I think my own. It all started when our daughter called me an ass. I slapped her. mom came out and told me to leave and never again will u disipline our daughter. since then our daughter will not listen to whatever i say. what should i do beat her into submission? no that does not work either. so a ask again. what do i do? my daughter may need me but she does not want to have anything to do with me. if i try to "flex my mussel" she runs to mom and then mom tells me to leave our daughter alone and that she will take care of it. and then never really does. so do i get into again and tell my wife sit down and shut up? then i find my self alone, because wife and child leave and never come back...i am not trying to look for ways out i am looking for ways to cope till our daughter moves out. if she wants to be a looser, so be it. i cant say i didnt try. i tried and they took up arms against me. i may win a battle or 2 but i lose the war. so what do i do?

It seems to me that you are copping out.
It is up to your life, you yourself and your daughter.
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Old 05-02-2007, 11:15 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nsamale
Hi all, I have a teenager, that is a real Biotch, as they say it now. she is flunking in school, and will probably have to repeat junior year. she is with her boyfriend all the time and has a car that doesnt run, but keeps spending money on frivelious things. she has a cell phone that she literally sleeps with and now wants me to pay to get her car fixed. she has gotten fired from 4 jobs in the past 6 months, one was even from mikky D's. I have been told that i am no longer able to parent her, but her mom lets her get away with murder...

So do I jsut sit there and let it happen? Or should I step in and tell wify that she is not doing her job and I am taking over? Should i leave the house and go on my 2 month sabbatical without them? or just leave altoether? what would u do in the same situation?
dont give in!!..I have 2 sons and a daughter...the boys are 16 and 12..my girl is 10...sometimes they like to see how far they can push to watch you snap...just push right back..they will respect you for it later..
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Old 05-06-2007, 09:24 AM   #29
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I think everyone should have teenage kids...why should we be the only ones to suffer?
Funny tho.....most kids eventually come around if there was good firm parenting...
In looking back, I think most of the probs I saw in teens ( other teens of course!! lol ) were weak parents who gave in to every whim of their kids...you know....sports cars for them at 16 years of age, most of which soon were wrecked...all the fancy clothes they wanted....late hours.. spoiled brats who never knew what it was like to work for anything....etc I also think it is interesting how, in school, they were taught everything about freedom.... and nothing about responsibility. A lot of these kids, from my observation anyway, became parasitic until their late 20s. The responsible ones, with the clear boundaries set by parents, seemed to stand on their own two feet a lot earlier.
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Old 05-07-2007, 12:46 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by Annie
Sorry, but I have to be on the side of your daughter! No one, and I do mean no one should ever be allowed get in the way of your DUTY to parent your child even if it is the mother! When you see her "getting away with murder" it is YOUR DUTY to parent her!

It takes at least one very involved parent to raise any child, you have a whole lot of work ahead of you!
I agree. This behavior doesn't just happen. It develops slowly and when she is allowed to get away with more and more it ends up like this. It didn't happen right away so it can't be fixed right away. Of course this is just my opinion. I don't have teens yet so I really don't have any experience.
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Old 05-07-2007, 01:23 PM   #31
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Look, I read this, and it sounds to me that you and your wife are both checked out of your daughters life. And your daughter is pushing, not to just be bad, but to find her boundry. Teens aren't stupid, and they know that if you are not setting limits, you aren't caring. At some point, if it hasn't already, your daughter will check out same as you and your wife. She will start saying to herself, "no one cares what I do, and no one loves me, and no ones loves me enough to stop me" This will leave her with a void in herself she will try to fill with men, sex or other temprarily pleasing activitys. And not the good kind.

Your daughter will be mad if you step in and be proactive. She will be bitchy, and she will slam doors. She will scream I hate you at the top of her lungs, and swear she will never speak to you again. She will tell you she loves her mother, because she lets her do anything she wants.

Your an adult! Do the right thing, remove her priviledges as you see fit. If she throw a hissy fit, even a teen sized one, tell her that you understand why she is mad, and that you appreciate what this is doing to her, and her social life. But that to be allowed the priviledges of an adult, she needs to live up to tthe responsibilitys. Be firm, and do not step back once you have laid the law down. And reward her if you see good behavior. If she works her darndest, but can only pull her grades up to a c, reward her fr doing her best, and promise a greater reward if she doesn't let them fall that far in the future.

I swear, as a teen of passive parents, you or someone in her life needs to do this. If you don't, the consequences for her will extend much further then the bitchy behavior of today. Teens do not see what they do as having an effect on the future manytimes, and she may not at this point realize that she is ruining her work ethic, and her chances of going to college. And when she does, she will have to work really hard to regain lost ground, and she may or may not be able to.
Step in, no matter what your wife says. Save this situation!
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