Married And Flirting Chat

Go Back   Married And Flirting Chat > Married And Flirting Chat Forums > Jokes, Stories & Games

Jokes, Stories & Games Have a good joke to tell or a story to share. How about a game to play, Post it here and share it with us.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-03-2018, 12:42 PM   #801
LadyZ
One Day At A Time
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Southern USA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,568
Thanks: 504
Thanked 389 Times in 336 Posts
LadyZ has disabled reputation
Default

Oh hey - I'm trying to reach the remote. Carry on.
LadyZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2018, 12:42 PM   #802
Iceburn
Thread Terrorist
 
Iceburn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Always a step in front
Age: 59
Posts: 49,316
Thanks: 22,362
Thanked 25,807 Times in 20,419 Posts
Blog Entries: 18
Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like
Default

Ive had better
__________________
~ A good man has few enemies. A ruthless man has none ~
Iceburn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2018, 12:44 PM   #803
LadyZ
One Day At A Time
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Southern USA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,568
Thanks: 504
Thanked 389 Times in 336 Posts
LadyZ has disabled reputation
Default

Let me make sure you have a pulse...
LadyZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2018, 12:45 PM   #804
Revenant
Outlier
 
Revenant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Right next door to Hell
Age: 46
Posts: 4,105
Thanks: 74
Thanked 133 Times in 104 Posts
Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like
Default

Sex? WTF is that?
Revenant is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2018, 12:58 PM   #805
Iceburn
Thread Terrorist
 
Iceburn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Always a step in front
Age: 59
Posts: 49,316
Thanks: 22,362
Thanked 25,807 Times in 20,419 Posts
Blog Entries: 18
Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Revenant View Post
Sex? WTF is that?
Its where you stick the hardest part of you..into a woman...and please dont let me hear you shouting..."Daaaaaad!..Ive got me fuckin head stuck!!"...eh?
__________________
~ A good man has few enemies. A ruthless man has none ~
Iceburn is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Iceburn For This Useful Post:
redcat (10-03-2018)
Old 10-03-2018, 01:02 PM   #806
scarlet*rose
Limited edition...
 
scarlet*rose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: England...turn right at Ireland
Age: 56
Posts: 9,245
Thanks: 2,054
Thanked 2,296 Times in 1,910 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like
Default

Have we finished?
__________________
I can't tell if it's killing me or making me stronger...
scarlet*rose is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2018, 01:03 PM   #807
SpecialK
bent but never broken..
 
SpecialK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Currently Panhandling
Age: 52
Posts: 21,628
Thanks: 8,884
Thanked 7,695 Times in 6,053 Posts
Blog Entries: 5
SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like
Default

I need a refund..
__________________
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
SpecialK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2018, 01:18 PM   #808
LadyZ
One Day At A Time
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Southern USA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,568
Thanks: 504
Thanked 389 Times in 336 Posts
LadyZ has disabled reputation
Default

Sorry! Geez, I thought the tat was permanent!
LadyZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2018, 01:19 PM   #809
Iceburn
Thread Terrorist
 
Iceburn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Always a step in front
Age: 59
Posts: 49,316
Thanks: 22,362
Thanked 25,807 Times in 20,419 Posts
Blog Entries: 18
Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like
Default

Did your mom drop you on your head as a kid?
__________________
~ A good man has few enemies. A ruthless man has none ~
Iceburn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2018, 02:59 PM   #810
Just A Girl
The Notorious J.A.G.
 
Just A Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Age: 45
Posts: 64,171
Thanks: 33,009
Thanked 36,643 Times in 22,719 Posts
Blog Entries: 23
Just A Girl Is God Like Just A Girl Is God Like Just A Girl Is God Like Just A Girl Is God Like Just A Girl Is God Like Just A Girl Is God Like Just A Girl Is God Like Just A Girl Is God Like Just A Girl Is God Like Just A Girl Is God Like Just A Girl Is God Like
Default

What's for dinner, mom?
__________________
I'm mostly peace, love and light & a little go fuck yourself...
Just A Girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2018, 03:08 PM   #811
Rob_Line
stirring
 
Rob_Line's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: North Carolina, USA
Age: 47
Posts: 6,039
Thanks: 676
Thanked 1,011 Times in 901 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like
Default

You cooked that bacon first, right?
Rob_Line is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2018, 03:09 PM   #812
gdgrl
Follow me
 
gdgrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Cali
Age: 51
Posts: 18,690
Thanks: 8,982
Thanked 9,986 Times in 5,787 Posts
Blog Entries: 15
gdgrl Is God Like gdgrl Is God Like gdgrl Is God Like gdgrl Is God Like gdgrl Is God Like gdgrl Is God Like gdgrl Is God Like gdgrl Is God Like gdgrl Is God Like gdgrl Is God Like gdgrl Is God Like
Default

Did someone open a can of tuna?
__________________
Multilingual: English, profanity, sarcasm and real shit! ~unknown
gdgrl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2018, 04:04 PM   #813
1Hunter
Flirting God
 
1Hunter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: South
Age: 53
Posts: 7,455
Thanks: 1,624
Thanked 1,384 Times in 1,181 Posts
1Hunter Is God Like 1Hunter Is God Like 1Hunter Is God Like 1Hunter Is God Like 1Hunter Is God Like 1Hunter Is God Like 1Hunter Is God Like 1Hunter Is God Like 1Hunter Is God Like 1Hunter Is God Like 1Hunter Is God Like
Default

Is your sister next?
1Hunter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2018, 04:09 PM   #814
redcat
Forum Leader
 
redcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Currently NC
Age: 62
Posts: 31,218
Thanks: 19,648
Thanked 13,437 Times in 8,558 Posts
Blog Entries: 32
redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like
Default

Are you gonna put it in?
redcat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2018, 05:06 PM   #815
St. Jimmy
Come over here
 
St. Jimmy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Cali
Age: 56
Posts: 4,324
Thanks: 798
Thanked 739 Times in 625 Posts
St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like
Default

No offense hun but my girlfriend is much tighter.
St. Jimmy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2018, 07:43 PM   #816
scott46
Flirting God
 
scott46's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: TV Land
Age: 49
Posts: 4,694
Thanks: 2,288
Thanked 1,831 Times in 1,487 Posts
scott46 Is God Like scott46 Is God Like scott46 Is God Like scott46 Is God Like scott46 Is God Like scott46 Is God Like scott46 Is God Like scott46 Is God Like scott46 Is God Like scott46 Is God Like scott46 Is God Like
Default

Will you marry me?
__________________
Money for nothing and chicks for free.
scott46 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2018, 07:46 PM   #817
St. Jimmy
Come over here
 
St. Jimmy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Cali
Age: 56
Posts: 4,324
Thanks: 798
Thanked 739 Times in 625 Posts
St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like
Default

I dunno maybe I’m gay
St. Jimmy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2018, 08:01 PM   #818
SpecialK
bent but never broken..
 
SpecialK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Currently Panhandling
Age: 52
Posts: 21,628
Thanks: 8,884
Thanked 7,695 Times in 6,053 Posts
Blog Entries: 5
SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like
Default

can we go again... I'll try popping your anal warts this time..
__________________
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
SpecialK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2018, 08:05 PM   #819
bryan3636
A legend in my own mind
 
bryan3636's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Where the sun always shines
Age: 56
Posts: 18,119
Thanks: 2,308
Thanked 5,424 Times in 3,873 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
bryan3636 Is God Like bryan3636 Is God Like bryan3636 Is God Like bryan3636 Is God Like bryan3636 Is God Like bryan3636 Is God Like bryan3636 Is God Like bryan3636 Is God Like bryan3636 Is God Like bryan3636 Is God Like bryan3636 Is God Like
Default

...so, what do ya think about Kavanaugh?
bryan3636 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2018, 08:52 PM   #820
LadyZ
One Day At A Time
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Southern USA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,568
Thanks: 504
Thanked 389 Times in 336 Posts
LadyZ has disabled reputation
Default

Oh, stop whining. I told you I sucked like a Hoover. The EMTs will be here soon.
LadyZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2018, 08:55 PM   #821
Newton
LastOneToPost
 
Newton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: In my chair
Age: 52
Posts: 2,832
Thanks: 279
Thanked 327 Times in 304 Posts
Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like
Default

I’m a Jehova’s Witness. I really just stopped by to share the Good News, ma’am.
Newton is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2018, 09:15 PM   #822
Floyd3593
Flirting God
 
Floyd3593's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Spain / UK
Age: 49
Posts: 3,507
Thanks: 689
Thanked 817 Times in 772 Posts
Floyd3593 Is God Like Floyd3593 Is God Like Floyd3593 Is God Like Floyd3593 Is God Like Floyd3593 Is God Like Floyd3593 Is God Like Floyd3593 Is God Like Floyd3593 Is God Like Floyd3593 Is God Like Floyd3593 Is God Like Floyd3593 Is God Like
Default

Is it ok to wipe my cock on your curtains?
__________________
"So far it's rained, poured, drizzled and chucked it down..."
Floyd3593 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2018, 09:18 PM   #823
Newton
LastOneToPost
 
Newton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: In my chair
Age: 52
Posts: 2,832
Thanks: 279
Thanked 327 Times in 304 Posts
Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like
Default

Ew.
Newton is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2018, 06:40 PM   #824
Newton
LastOneToPost
 
Newton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: In my chair
Age: 52
Posts: 2,832
Thanks: 279
Thanked 327 Times in 304 Posts
Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like
Default

Ruts wrong, Raggy?

(Which is either my best Scooby Doo impression . . . Or the most despicable thing I’ve ever said.)


(It was Scooby.)

Last edited by Newton; 10-06-2018 at 06:43 PM. Reason: Comma for direct address.
Newton is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2018, 07:28 PM   #825
SpecialK
bent but never broken..
 
SpecialK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Currently Panhandling
Age: 52
Posts: 21,628
Thanks: 8,884
Thanked 7,695 Times in 6,053 Posts
Blog Entries: 5
SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like SpecialK Is God Like
Default

it was almost as good as sex with my sheep..
__________________
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
SpecialK is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:44 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.