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Old 09-29-2009, 01:57 PM   #101
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lots of crying and time,,,,but the scars remain
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Old 09-29-2009, 01:59 PM   #102
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For me it's stalking them, sending creepy texts and emails, dedicating some songs on the local radio, then they either take you back or you meet someone better when you're staking out the bar they're at on the weekend...

(Seriously, though, it just sucks. You cry, you feel like shit, then you get over it.)
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Old 09-29-2009, 01:59 PM   #103
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ok, after the tequila and stripper haze wears off...

You never mend a broken heart. If you really and deeply love someone enough to allow the possibility of a broken heart, that means you...at some point gave all of yourself to this person. When he/she breaks your heart, for whatever reason, that vulnerability is magnified and most of us tend to either become introverted for a while or just go crazy for a weekend or two as a big middle finger. Of course the usually depends of the reason for said broken heart. Either way, mending that break just is not going to happen. Once we decide to move forward, allow ourselves to be vulnerable again, and find someone with whom we share our love, then the heart begins to heal, just not entirely. That is the danger and shear joy of love, and I would rather have my heart broken a thousand times then to not allow myself to love or be loved.
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Old 09-29-2009, 02:00 PM   #104
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For me it's stalking them, sending creepy texts and emails, dedicating some songs on the local radio, then they either take you back or you meet someone better when you're staking out the bar they're at on the weekend...

(Seriously, though, it just sucks. You cry, you feel like shit, then you get over it.)

OMG remind me NEVER to make you angry!
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Old 09-29-2009, 02:01 PM   #105
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ok, after the tequila and stripper haze wears off...

You never mend a broken heart. If you really and deeply love someone enough to allow the possibility of a broken heart, that means you...at some point gave all of yourself to this person. When he/she breaks your heart, for whatever reason, that vulnerability is magnified and most of us tend to either become introverted for a while or just go crazy for a weekend or two as a big middle finger. Of course the usually depends of the reason for said broken heart. Either way, mending that break just is not going to happen. Once we decide to move forward, allow ourselves to be vulnerable again, and find someone with whom we share our love, then the heart begins to heal, just not entirely. That is the danger and shear joy of love, and I would rather have my heart broken a thousand times then to not allow myself to love or be loved.
Nice words. Now bring back those strippers. You get 2 and I get the other 2.
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Old 09-29-2009, 02:06 PM   #106
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awww shit , that may explain my bouts of depression sometimes
and the bit of stalking
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Old 09-29-2009, 02:07 PM   #107
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Here are my two cents... I don't believe a broken heart is ever mended, what I believe is that each crack as time passes is filled by something new and at times better...
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Old 09-29-2009, 02:09 PM   #108
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You turn the chapter in your life, learn from the mistakes and cherish the memories. Life will go on and the road you have travelled helped make you the person you are now. Just find someone in the future who wants you for who you are and what you have to offer. Never settle!
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Old 09-29-2009, 02:33 PM   #109
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Originally Posted by scoobertina View Post
having had mine broken a few times... you do move on.. you don't forget... you let others in.. but you are more cautious.. you don't give up that hope that the next one is right..

keep yourself busy.. find things you like to do.. get out of the house and meet new people.. do something unlike what you did with him or her..

you allow yourself to dream of something else..

Wise words, scoob. That caution, though..wonder if those walls are built up too much....
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Old 09-29-2009, 02:43 PM   #110
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Wise words, scoob. That caution, though..wonder if those walls are built up too much....
they can crumble.. S was able to make mine crumble.. and I have yet to find another who can do the same.. but I have allowed them to crumble on their own now.. when S left me and the site I built them too high and I denied myself any kindness to myself.. I shut people out and I hid from the world.. even when that crazy jacklonghorn episode happened I was still unsure of things.. S was still too much a part of my heart for me to really feel anything.. (I wanted to be a part of something then.. and that was wrong).. but the walls have started to crumble on their own.. I am sure it is because of my own belief in my self worth again.. I am beginning to believe that I can move forward and find something.. even if it isn't as strong as what I felt for HIM.. HE will always have a huge piece of my heart.. but I can give it again.. I know it.. I feel it.. it just takes time and a true understanding of ourselves...

take it slow.. and you will heal.. it doesn't happen overnight.. I can't promise you that next month you will feel better... here it is 13 months after S and I am just now able to accept it.. and move on..
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Old 09-29-2009, 02:52 PM   #111
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At the moment all I really feel like doing is wallowing. I think I'll try wallowing for a while. I think there should be a wallowing period.

If I start posting too many Celine Dion songs or Phil Collins songs somebody shoot me though, ok?
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Old 09-29-2009, 02:54 PM   #112
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At the moment all I really feel like doing is wallowing. I think I'll try wallowing for a while. I think there should be a wallowing period.

If I start posting too many Celine Dion songs or Phil Collins songs somebody shoot me though, ok?
One would be too many...just sayin'.
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Old 09-29-2009, 02:55 PM   #113
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ok, after the tequila and stripper haze wears off...

You never mend a broken heart. If you really and deeply love someone enough to allow the possibility of a broken heart, that means you...at some point gave all of yourself to this person. When he/she breaks your heart, for whatever reason, that vulnerability is magnified and most of us tend to either become introverted for a while or just go crazy for a weekend or two as a big middle finger. Of course the usually depends of the reason for said broken heart. Either way, mending that break just is not going to happen. Once we decide to move forward, allow ourselves to be vulnerable again, and find someone with whom we share our love, then the heart begins to heal, just not entirely. That is the danger and shear joy of love, and I would rather have my heart broken a thousand times then to not allow myself to love or be loved.
Yeah. I agree with that. Completely.

It's just not easy to explain to your heart that it's time to let go. I think mine is deaf or something. It's not listening.
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Old 09-29-2009, 02:56 PM   #114
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One would be too many...just sayin'.
I'll just sing it then:

"Everynight in my dreams-
I see you...
I feel you..."

Ok, bad idea.
Back to wallowing.
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Old 09-29-2009, 02:57 PM   #115
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At the moment all I really feel like doing is wallowing. I think I'll try wallowing for a while. I think there should be a wallowing period.

If I start posting too many Celine Dion songs or Phil Collins songs somebody shoot me though, ok?
wallowing is good.. wallow.. throw things.. it helps.. (make sure you don't like what you throw though)

nooooooo... if you post a single Celine Dion or Phil Collins song I will personally smack you... and if you post "my heart will go on" grrrrrrr...... I will hunt you down..
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Old 09-29-2009, 03:04 PM   #116
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wallowing is good.. wallow.. throw things.. it helps.. (make sure you don't like what you throw though)

nooooooo... if you post a single Celine Dion or Phil Collins song I will personally smack you... and if you post "my heart will go on" grrrrrrr...... I will hunt you down..
*Sigh*
Fine, I'll just sing then.

Eh hem

"Allllll byyyyy myseeeeellllf. Don' wanna be...Alllll byyyyy myseeeeelf...."
Who sings that one? Does Celine?

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Old 09-29-2009, 03:06 PM   #117
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I agree with the ones that say broken hearts dont heal...
i think that is why so few are willing to take the risk and open up...
flirting is one thing...very superficial
also, making friends is fun, superficial in some ways as well..
However, when you open up and let someone get to know you, you trust them with your heart...and allow them to see the real you... that is naked vulnerability and for some of us a very scary place to be! Going there and getting hurt is not a place you come back from easily. That is why it is easier to not get to that place at all.
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Old 09-29-2009, 03:13 PM   #118
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I agree with the ones that say broken hearts dont heal...
i think that is why so few are willing to take the risk and open up...
flirting is one thing...very superficial
also, making friends is fun, superficial in some ways as well..
However, when you open up and let someone get to know you, you trust them with your heart...and allow them to see the real you... that is naked vulnerability and for some of us a very scary place to be! Going there and getting hurt is not a place you come back from easily. That is why it is easier to not get to that place at all.
Denying the joy of a realtionship out of fear doesn't sound right either so don't fear going to "that place". A few scars are ok (I have a few) and you can only enjoy life best by living it and taking the lumps along with the love. Being a bit careful maybe wise but avoiding "that place" eliminates the possibility that you would find miss out of something which may end up being spectacular. I'm an optimist I guess but let loose some and take a risk. The broken heart just tells you that love is possible so let that be the remind that it's all worth the risk.
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Old 09-29-2009, 03:21 PM   #119
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I agree with the ones that say broken hearts dont heal...
i think that is why so few are willing to take the risk and open up...
flirting is one thing...very superficial
also, making friends is fun, superficial in some ways as well..
However, when you open up and let someone get to know you, you trust them with your heart...and allow them to see the real you... that is naked vulnerability and for some of us a very scary place to be! Going there and getting hurt is not a place you come back from easily. That is why it is easier to not get to that place at all.

Okay I agree with Fwd in theory..but totally get it Glam!!!! Open up and you run the risk of someone you like not liking you. Then the pain and hurt and degradation..but as alot of us know too...

Someone you have known forever could do the same thing!!! So live it up girlie and have fun and get a broken heart...helll i am ..did... and will again!!!! Probably soon!

Life is too effin short!!!
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Old 09-29-2009, 03:21 PM   #120
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Denying the joy of a realtionship out of fear doesn't sound right either so don't fear going to "that place". A few scars are ok (I have a few) and you can only enjoy life best by living it and taking the lumps along with the love. Being a bit careful maybe wise but avoiding "that place" eliminates the possibility that you would find miss out of something which may end up being spectacular. I'm an optimist I guess but let loose some and take a risk. The broken heart just tells you that love is possible so let that be the remind that it's all worth the risk.
I agree. When you are fortunate enough to meet someone that lights you up from the inside, and makes you grow and learn and you do the same for them...no matter what happens you shouldn't regret it. If you loved them once, you love them. Loving someone isn't about posession or ownership, it's about wanting them to be happy. It's about letting go when it's time. And then getting some cookies and kleenex and wallow for just a little while till you think you can see fucking CARRIE FISHER on the Today show THIS MORNING of all mornings without getting choked up.
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Old 09-29-2009, 05:47 PM   #121
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So many people seem to be suffering through a break-up at the moment, it makes you wonder if it is the season or something.

I'm in the middle of a drawn out situation that, despite all the complexities, can only conceivably end in two ways. And, well, I can't really say anything else....just to be melodramatic!

If it's 100% over with someone and there's no turning back, at least there's a process you can begin to start....But with a glimmer of hope for someone you love, you're stuck in this limbo land, unable to act decisively either way.

Fighting the heartbreak could bring you so much happiness, or could just muddy the waters even further and prove a greater loss in the long run.

A quick and easy dumping might be a huge shock to the system, but at least you know it's the time for wallowing! I'll take someone treating me cruelly when it ends over someone still hugging me and still wanting me.

Well, that's not strictly true...hence the confusion!
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Old 09-29-2009, 05:54 PM   #122
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I think if I ever had to figure out how to mend my broken heart ... I would just ask Lass .... she is a Cleveland fan ... if anyone is an authority on this subject she is.
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Old 09-29-2009, 06:00 PM   #123
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time, crying, fun and flirting to help u forget the bad things just aslong as u learn from the bad and remember all the good.
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Old 09-29-2009, 06:22 PM   #124
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For me cinnamon rolls are involved. And sex with an old friend.
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Old 09-29-2009, 06:25 PM   #125
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Okay I agree with Fwd in theory..but totally get it Glam!!!!

Life is too effin short!!!
I get the life is too short thing!
I have found someone that is worth taking the giving the heart away chance with...
I truely am a Carpe' diem...kind of girl..live life to the fullest and get the most of each day...because you dont know what tomorrow brings...

deep wounds heal slow is all i was saying
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~In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take...~
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