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Old 03-11-2008, 04:09 PM   #51
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Well, we can get hurt very easily if we let ourself get hurt? I think.. Do what you must, be candid, and play but do not take things seriously and have fun... at the end if you get hurt? You get heart so what? Have fun...
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Old 03-11-2008, 04:18 PM   #52
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Oh you are such a bunny......
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Old 03-11-2008, 04:20 PM   #53
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Originally Posted by Barkiss
Trust your instincts!!!!

I could write a novel on this subject, but I will spare each of you the details of a long, and what I considered mutually beneficial online relationship. Through the entire relationship I felt something wasn't right, but it wasn't until well over a year of "being in the relationship", that I realized that all my instincts were right. Nothing, and I mean nothing, about the relationship was true. If I had listened to myself, I could have spared a great deal of time and heartache...with that said, I learned some valuable lessons which I will treasure for the rest of my life.

So as the old cliche' states, "Don't believe everything you read"....well you didn't think it was just for journalists, did you? And for all of you that say time will solve all...please remember it wasn't until after a year that I realized the truth. Maybe I'm just stupid and naive, but ask yourself...how well do I really know this person?, or how much do I know that he/she tells me? Your answer might surprise you...

Yes...I was naive...and I was stupid...so my advice is...

Don't be a Barkiss.
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Old 03-12-2008, 09:34 AM   #54
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It can be tough -- especially if you tend to attach easily (like me). But realize that over time, the real people will come out, and the real status of the relationship will be made clear. Then, you just take it as it is, and run with whatever you have discovered. Just don't let a difference in perception ruin a relationship either. Sometimes the hurt is not intentional. You just saw things differently than they did. Let it be.
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Old 03-12-2008, 09:41 AM   #55
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Originally Posted by Barkiss
Trust your instincts!!!!

I could write a novel on this subject, but I will spare each of you the details of a long, and what I considered mutually beneficial online relationship. Through the entire relationship I felt something wasn't right, but it wasn't until well over a year of "being in the relationship", that I realized that all my instincts were right. Nothing, and I mean nothing, about the relationship was true. If I had listened to myself, I could have spared a great deal of time and heartache...with that said, I learned some valuable lessons which I will treasure for the rest of my life.

So as the old cliche' states, "Don't believe everything you read"....well you didn't think it was just for journalists, did you? And for all of you that say time will solve all...please remember it wasn't until after a year that I realized the truth. Maybe I'm just stupid and naive, but ask yourself...how well do I really know this person?, or how much do I know that he/she tells me? Your answer might surprise you...

Yes...I was naive...and I was stupid...so my advice is...

Don't be a Barkiss.
Gee, now you shattered all my hopes...I so wanted to be a Barkiss when I grew up...sigh
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Old 03-12-2008, 09:50 AM   #56
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Gee, now you shattered all my hopes...I so wanted to be a Barkiss when I grew up...sigh

Naaaaah. Too much slobbering...
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Old 03-12-2008, 10:21 AM   #57
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Old 03-12-2008, 02:00 PM   #58
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Originally Posted by Shawn_N_Sandiego
Honestly, as much as it pains me to not insert a smart ass remark here....I think they way you don't get hurt is to rely on yourself for the things you feel you lack, then just relax and if someone comes along and offers something interesting you are not fully relying on that new person to fulfill your needs, less pressure for you both and then maybe you can relax a bit and just enjoy each other with out the apprehension concerning getting hurt....If that does not work just eat lots of ice cream
I think your smart bass is ackwards. Well spoken.

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Old 03-12-2008, 02:17 PM   #59
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Originally Posted by salvatore_50
Well, we can get hurt very easily if we let ourself get hurt? I think.. Do what you must, be candid, and play but do not take things seriously and have fun... at the end if you get hurt? You get heart so what? Have fun...

That's pretty easy to say when you're not the one who is hurt!
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Old 03-12-2008, 02:54 PM   #60
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flybabe
Like you said.......make them work really hard for it. And time is a good indicator. Just don't rush things.....

I agree!!


And you'll know the red flags when you see them.Just trust yourself. Everyone has a story to tell,good or bad. You can't go by that,it's a one sided story,but you can trust yourself in what feels right and what doesn't.Time tells all...
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Old 03-12-2008, 03:35 PM   #61
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Right...I agree...trust your own common sense and "gut" ...you'll do fine! Congrats on 500 Rose...



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Originally Posted by Atrebla Rose
Living behind the walls of protection is not living! It is better to have loved and lost than to have never ever have loved at all. I will be honest, be myself and take my chances! It is so much better than being lonely!
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Old 03-12-2008, 05:38 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by Lacey
I agree!!


And you'll know the red flags when you see them.Just trust yourself. Everyone has a story to tell,good or bad. You can't go by that,it's a one sided story,but you can trust yourself in what feels right and what doesn't.Time tells all...
Well I think in the simplest terms I don't see how anyone can really control whether or not they get "involved" with anyone...whether that would be the right or wrong person. How does one keep someone at arm's length consciously? What are ya supposed to say..... Our personalities are alike, we see just about everything the same way, you stimulate my brain to think creatively, you challenge me to think more deeply, you make me laugh my ass of everyday and I'm wicked hot for you........but ummm... ....yeah, sorry that's just WAY too much fun for me I think I'm gonna need to go find something less enjoyable and less stimulating to do....but thanks! I'm about as disciplined as they come and even I don't have that willpower....sheesh!

If it's the wrong person...well then you'll know it sooner or later....that's just part of life and we all have to deal with the ups and downs at some point. Each of our personalities are the way they are and it's not something you can consciously control to me. You can't believe everything you hear or everything you read and take the time to make sure...or as sure as you can...that you really know who you are talking to and the rest is........as Clark W. Griswold Says......."all part of the experience honey"
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Old 03-12-2008, 06:23 PM   #63
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........as Clark W. Griswold Says......."all part of the experience honey"
He also said, "Can't see the nipples, can you Russ?"
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Old 03-12-2008, 07:17 PM   #64
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Originally Posted by Han Solo
What are ya supposed to say..... Our personalities are alike, we see just about everything the same way, you stimulate my brain to think creatively, you challenge me to think more deeply, you make me laugh my ass of everyday and I'm wicked hot for you........but ummm... ....yeah, sorry that's just WAY too much fun for me I think I'm gonna need to go find something less enjoyable and less stimulating to do....but thanks! I'm about as disciplined as they come and even I don't have that willpower....sheesh!
You know how to wear a girl down. Damn.
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Old 03-12-2008, 10:26 PM   #65
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Annie,
Lot's of good advice as I read this thread. I don't have a lot to add other than the hurt can and does happen, I just hope to find a whole lot of good things too.
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Old 03-12-2008, 10:29 PM   #66
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its not possible, if you open up and it doesnt work, its inevitable
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Old 03-12-2008, 11:06 PM   #67
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lacey
I agree!!


And you'll know the red flags when you see them.Just trust yourself. Everyone has a story to tell,good or bad. You can't go by that,it's a one sided story,but you can trust yourself in what feels right and what doesn't.Time tells all...

I agree also.. and by the way Lacey great superman outfit!!!


Not just make them work for it though... sometimes you do meet someone that just knocks your socks off. What you or me as individuals on this sight have to do is be honest with ourselves as well as honest with the other person. We can't pull any punches and try to change for the other person or be what the other person wants. We just have to be ourselves her and be honest.
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Old 03-13-2008, 06:37 AM   #68
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Speaking from my own experience and seeing how most threads gets hi-jacked (we actually had to make up a special thread with no hijacking allowed), it will be very easy to be swept off your feet. The key is to always remember that your new found feet sweeper is also straying from his original partner and may in fact be speaking with others before he has met you...and never ignore your common sense or gut feelings. I'm just pointing out facts which many of us can forget as we get our toes dusted.....best route to take would be fun flirting as most of us enjoy, but sometimes it's easier said than done.

Once you get on board, you will love it and be addicted just as all of us are.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mamacita
Annie,
Lot's of good advice as I read this thread. I don't have a lot to add other than the hurt can and does happen, I just hope to find a whole lot of good things too.
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Old 03-13-2008, 09:18 AM   #69
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barkiss
Trust your instincts!!!!

Yes...I was naive...and I was stupid...so my advice is...

Don't be a Barkiss.
Quote:
Originally Posted by spare change
I learned that I can't live without feeling, I can't live without loving. For THAT lesson, I am eternally grateful.

Don't die inside that bubble - I almost did. Live your life -- love your life. Take a chance. The only thing worse than getting hurt is to feel nothing at all.
I think the world of both of you, I know you both got hurt and for that I am sorry. But, I also remember how boyishly giddy and happy you both were.

I think spare hit the nail right on the head, you gotta live and you gotta love. It sure beats feeling nothing at all. There is an old saying that goes a long with what Spare said.... You can't steal second and keep your foot on first.

Love is risky and life is risky, but if you don't gamble you don't have anything to lose or gain. But, like Barsky said, trust your instincts too.

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Old 03-13-2008, 09:34 AM   #70
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You can't fool me, Shiane. You're just trying to buy a Barkiss with your Spare Change.



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I think the world of both of you, I know you both got hurt and for that I am sorry. But, I also remember how boyishly giddy and happy you both were.

I think spare hit the nail right on the head, you gotta live and you gotta love. It sure beats feeling nothing at all. There is an old saying that goes a long with what Spare said.... You can't steal second and keep your foot on first.

Love is risky and life is risky, but if you don't gamble you don't have anything to lose or gain. But, like Barsky said, trust your instincts too.

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Old 03-13-2008, 09:52 AM   #71
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Originally Posted by TIGUY
Speaking from my own experience and seeing how most threads gets hi-jacked (we actually had to make up a special thread with no hijacking allowed), it will be very easy to be swept off your feet. The key is to always remember that your new found feet sweeper is also straying from his original partner and may in fact be speaking with others before he has met you...and never ignore your common sense or gut feelings. I'm just pointing out facts which many of us can forget as we get our toes dusted.....best route to take would be fun flirting as most of us enjoy, but sometimes it's easier said than done.

Once you get on board, you will love it and be addicted just as all of us are.
Just have a question and maybe a point or two based on Annie's thoughts on this thread. I'm just curious as to what "hi-jacking" has to do with being Involved or not involved with someone? But first I guess each of us has to determine what the word "involved" really means to each of us?

Interesting points you bring up here so I'll ask then.........what does "hi-jacking" have to do with involvement? Seems to me there is all sorts of hi-jacks that go on around here..... from the random everyday conversation types, to people who meet for the very first time and are trying to establish a connection and flirt back and forth to see if they really like each other...all the way up to the people who are supposed to be 'really' involved. Unfortunately that's what you get on a Flirting website...when people flirt, regardless of to what degree, it's about getting caught up and off on a tangent sometimes because someone is having a good time. And it's not necessariy just two people either, there's plenty of times where it's more than two people can occupy a thread because they find something funny or are having a good time. Isn't that what this place is for? I come across "hi-jacks" everyday in here...and yes, most times I could care less about what they are saying....so I skip over it and move to another thread.....no big deal, there's tons of other topics here. I'm not necessarily Promoting it here, but to me it's just something that happens at a site such as this. The day I let myself get mad that someone is occupying a thread and flirting back and forth is the day that I'll go find some CNN forums so I can spend my day discussing Global Warming.

I may be wrong here, but you seem to imply by using the term "always remember"....... that "everyone" is "involved" with someone else before they meet a new person? I guess it would be hard to argue that no one here didn't or doesn't have a "past" of some sort....but again, I guess that depends on what each of us feels like "involvement" is. I guess by the very nature of this site then yeah, it's promoting talking to and having fun with lots of people. There's involvement when two people want to talk on just a friend type basis, when people talk on a stricly sexual basis, and when people want to talk beyond that and feel comfortable talking on an "exclusive" basis. There's no right or wrong answer to me, it's just what type suits us as individuals. But to me.........and this is just my opinion here.....most of the "involvement" confusion comes in the "Newbie Candy Store" phase if you will. When most of us found this site it's because we felt something was being neglected at home.....something very physical in nature. So when we logged into this site and see all the topics and conversation with all the sexual content and flirting it's very easy to feel like a kid in a candy store and get carried away. People may tend to talk about things or talk to people that maybe they normally wouldn't because of that effect. So I suppose it can be pretty easy to feel like we might have deeper involvement with another because we are caught up in other feelings that sort of mask that for awhile. But I think over time that we see most of those people find their own comfort level and start to level off and make better sense of what makes them happy........regardless of whether it's the same as it was when they started here or something different.

You do bring up a good point about having to realize that to people have talked to others before.....clearly that's pretty much routine here and there's no way around that.......so you know what.......maybe the ability to "not get crushed" here is simply realizing that and being able to accept that for what it is and move on. It can drive some people nuts if they let it.

OK....way too much rambling for me this morning. But the points here were a little thought provoking so I took the opportunity to offer my spin...........OK.....well I guess with the Aries folks we don't tend to "offer"....we just DO
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Old 03-13-2008, 10:29 AM   #72
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Han Solo
Just have a question and maybe a point or two based on Annie's thoughts on this thread. I'm just curious as to what "hi-jacking" has to do with being Involved or not involved with someone? But first I guess each of us has to determine what the word "involved" really means to each of us?

Interesting points you bring up here so I'll ask then.........what does "hi-jacking" have to do with involvement? Seems to me there is all sorts of hi-jacks that go on around here..... from the random everyday conversation types, to people who meet for the very first time and are trying to establish a connection and flirt back and forth to see if they really like each other...all the way up to the people who are supposed to be 'really' involved. Unfortunately that's what you get on a Flirting website...when people flirt, regardless of to what degree, it's about getting caught up and off on a tangent sometimes because someone is having a good time. And it's not necessariy just two people either, there's plenty of times where it's more than two people can occupy a thread because they find something funny or are having a good time. Isn't that what this place is for? I come across "hi-jacks" everyday in here...and yes, most times I could care less about what they are saying....so I skip over it and move to another thread.....no big deal, there's tons of other topics here. I'm not necessarily Promoting it here, but to me it's just something that happens at a site such as this. The day I let myself get mad that someone is occupying a thread and flirting back and forth is the day that I'll go find some CNN forums so I can spend my day discussing Global Warming.

I may be wrong here, but you seem to imply by using the term "always remember"....... that "everyone" is "involved" with someone else before they meet a new person? I guess it would be hard to argue that no one here didn't or doesn't have a "past" of some sort....but again, I guess that depends on what each of us feels like "involvement" is. I guess by the very nature of this site then yeah, it's promoting talking to and having fun with lots of people. There's involvement when two people want to talk on just a friend type basis, when people talk on a stricly sexual basis, and when people want to talk beyond that and feel comfortable talking on an "exclusive" basis. There's no right or wrong answer to me, it's just what type suits us as individuals. But to me.........and this is just my opinion here.....most of the "involvement" confusion comes in the "Newbie Candy Store" phase if you will. When most of us found this site it's because we felt something was being neglected at home.....something very physical in nature. So when we logged into this site and see all the topics and conversation with all the sexual content and flirting it's very easy to feel like a kid in a candy store and get carried away. People may tend to talk about things or talk to people that maybe they normally wouldn't because of that effect. So I suppose it can be pretty easy to feel like we might have deeper involvement with another because we are caught up in other feelings that sort of mask that for awhile. But I think over time that we see most of those people find their own comfort level and start to level off and make better sense of what makes them happy........regardless of whether it's the same as it was when they started here or something different.

You do bring up a good point about having to realize that to people have talked to others before.....clearly that's pretty much routine here and there's no way around that.......so you know what.......maybe the ability to "not get crushed" here is simply realizing that and being able to accept that for what it is and move on. It can drive some people nuts if they let it.

OK....way too much rambling for me this morning. But the points here were a little thought provoking so I took the opportunity to offer my spin...........OK.....well I guess with the Aries folks we don't tend to "offer"....we just DO


I completely agree...
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Old 03-13-2008, 10:30 AM   #73
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You actually read all that? And he wonders why he's shaking.



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I completely agree...
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Old 03-13-2008, 10:31 AM   #74
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You actually read all that? And he wonders why he's shaking.

LOL



Yeah,I did!!
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Old 03-13-2008, 10:33 AM   #75
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You actually read all that? And he wonders why he's shaking.
Yeah, well we see which half of the wonder twins here got the brains....just sayin'...............Oh, and I got me a sandwich here to quell the hunger shakes so that little problem will be fixed here shortly.
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