Married And Flirting Chat

Go Back   Married And Flirting Chat > Married And Flirting Chat Forums > Jokes, Stories & Games

Jokes, Stories & Games Have a good joke to tell or a story to share. How about a game to play, Post it here and share it with us.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 09-15-2018, 01:49 PM   #5626
Revenant
Outlier
 
Revenant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Right next door to Hell
Age: 46
Posts: 4,105
Thanks: 74
Thanked 133 Times in 104 Posts
Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like Revenant Is God Like
Default

Roses are red
Violets are purple
This poem sucks
Take off your pants
Revenant is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Revenant For This Useful Post:
LadyZ (09-15-2018)
Old 09-15-2018, 06:25 PM   #5627
ilovetospike
Thread Ruiner
 
ilovetospike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: neither here nor there
Age: 56
Posts: 24,780
Thanks: 3,403
Thanked 8,812 Times in 7,220 Posts
ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like ilovetospike Is God Like
Default

Roses roses roses
produce scent that please noses
take a sniff if you please
Fall down to your knees

I've got a flower for you
it's pink with balls of blue
staring one eyed at you
spilling a drop of goo

why not take a taste
it be shameful for us to waste
a drop of my man seed
I've got more than I really need

Just a lick right on the tip
let the taste pass your lip
touch it again and see
how exciting it can be

to get a mouthful my love juice
I'm not trying to be obtuse
This poem is way too long
I want you to suck my dong
__________________
I lead the league in eye rolls.

ilovetospike is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ilovetospike For This Useful Post:
LadyZ (09-15-2018)
Old 09-15-2018, 09:35 PM   #5628
LadyZ
One Day At A Time
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Southern USA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,568
Thanks: 504
Thanked 389 Times in 336 Posts
LadyZ has disabled reputation
Default

Roses are red,
Try to look normal...
You’re sitting at your desk,
And I got hormonal.
Who knew your boss
Would choose to chat?
While I’m under your desk
And you’re noticing that
Your prized possession
Is suddenly free...
It’s halfway down my throat,
And when I swallow, you sneeze…
But what else can you do?
I’m giving you head,
And you can’t repeat
A word your boss has said...
It’s getting to the point
Where your breathing is frantic,
Just relax and let go,
There’s no need to panic...
He thinks you have a cold,
And he’s ready to go…
Roses are red,
Now, you can blow.
LadyZ is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LadyZ For This Useful Post:
ilovetospike (09-15-2018), Rob_Line (09-15-2018)
Old 09-15-2018, 10:32 PM   #5629
SoCal guy
Flirting God
 
SoCal guy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Los Angeles
Age: 62
Posts: 12,431
Thanks: 3,700
Thanked 2,854 Times in 2,550 Posts
SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like
Default

Roses are red
These rhymes sure got long
And they make me feel
A twitch in my dong
__________________
More head, and less headache.
SoCal guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2018, 10:42 PM   #5630
LadyZ
One Day At A Time
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Southern USA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,568
Thanks: 504
Thanked 389 Times in 336 Posts
LadyZ has disabled reputation
Default

Roses are red,
My poems are too long…
I guess I should curb them,
But I
LadyZ is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to LadyZ For This Useful Post:
SoCal guy (09-15-2018)
Old 09-15-2018, 11:14 PM   #5631
SoCal guy
Flirting God
 
SoCal guy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Los Angeles
Age: 62
Posts: 12,431
Thanks: 3,700
Thanked 2,854 Times in 2,550 Posts
SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like
Default

Roses are red
So is my wine
When I drink it and post here
It makes me feel fine
__________________
More head, and less headache.
SoCal guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2018, 01:01 PM   #5632
LadyZ
One Day At A Time
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Southern USA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,568
Thanks: 504
Thanked 389 Times in 336 Posts
LadyZ has disabled reputation
Default

Roses are red,
My brain is leaking…
Memories from when
Passion was freaking
Awesome, and time
Was an endless epoch
Spreading before me.
It wasn’t enough.
LadyZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2018, 08:59 PM   #5633
RisingSun
College Football!!!
 
RisingSun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Hometown
Age: 66
Posts: 20,673
Thanks: 5,469
Thanked 3,137 Times in 2,908 Posts
RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like
Default

Roses are red, why discuss a garden?
Much more fun talkin about my hard un!
I try to be a gentleman and be polite
But one word from you and I'm hard all night
At my age you'd think I need Viagra
One kiss from you gives me a swollen Bagga!
I love your voice and your sexy sigh
Causes involuntary dripping of babies down my thigh
When you grip it at the base and slowly pull up
OMG! Sweet Jesus! I could fill an 8 oz. cup
Roses and gardens are pretty for sure
But you handling this big thing is the ultimate cure!
__________________
Democracy....The minority gets their say but the Majority gets their way!
RisingSun is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to RisingSun For This Useful Post:
LadyZ (09-17-2018)
Old 09-18-2018, 10:33 PM   #5634
LadyZ
One Day At A Time
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Southern USA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,568
Thanks: 504
Thanked 389 Times in 336 Posts
LadyZ has disabled reputation
Default

Roses are red,
The moon is high;
Imagining a whisper of a touch
Inside my thigh.
LadyZ is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to LadyZ For This Useful Post:
RisingSun (09-19-2018)
Old 09-20-2018, 11:00 PM   #5635
LadyZ
One Day At A Time
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Southern USA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,568
Thanks: 504
Thanked 389 Times in 336 Posts
LadyZ has disabled reputation
Default

Roses are red and violets are blue…
Daydreaming is so often spent on you…

I want to paint your body with my tongue.
I dream of the elation that would bring.
The atmosphere is right, the night is young,
And one more glass of wine will make you sing.

Another time, we’d gotten to this point.
Your pickled brain forgot most everything.
Your heated kisses tasted of the joint
You’d rolled so long ago, the blunt could sting.

We lost ourselves in lust on satin sheets.
The ones that your designer hoped to share.
She thought that she was being so discreet!
You were so ready, and you were so bare…

And just when I thought joy that night would bring,
You fell asleep and ruined everything.
LadyZ is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to LadyZ For This Useful Post:
RisingSun (09-21-2018)
Old 09-20-2018, 11:59 PM   #5636
Rob_Line
stirring
 
Rob_Line's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: North Carolina, USA
Age: 47
Posts: 6,039
Thanks: 676
Thanked 1,011 Times in 901 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like
Default

Roses are red
like the paint from your tongue
that crosses my body
from my thigh to my lung.


The joint fucked me
when your heat should have rocked me.
Thought it would be
the perfect cap on our revelry.


Now we've another chance.
A clean bed and wine.
Your eyes, how they dance!
Never seen a woman so fine.


Pour that wine in the vale of my belly,
and slurp it from the button.
You've turned my limbs to jelly,
for you I'm a glutton.


I offer you my wine-soaked skin
as I tilt you back and tilt me in.
Our skin evaporates
in our frenzied state
and I grind hard
'til we see stars.


Watching you writhe
until you crest
I unleash
and fall upon your breast.


The only thought in my head:
I'm so glad you painted me red.
Rob_Line is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Rob_Line For This Useful Post:
LadyZ (09-21-2018)
Old 09-21-2018, 12:41 AM   #5637
RisingSun
College Football!!!
 
RisingSun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Hometown
Age: 66
Posts: 20,673
Thanks: 5,469
Thanked 3,137 Times in 2,908 Posts
RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyZ View Post
Roses are red and violets are blue…
Daydreaming is so often spent on you…

I want to paint your body with my tongue.
I dream of the elation that would bring.
The atmosphere is right, the night is young,
And one more glass of wine will make you sing.

Another time, we’d gotten to this point.
Your pickled brain forgot most everything.
Your heated kisses tasted of the joint
You’d rolled so long ago, the blunt could sting.

We lost ourselves in lust on satin sheets.
The ones that your designer hoped to share.
She thought that she was being so discreet!
You were so ready, and you were so bare…

And just when I thought joy that night would bring,
You fell asleep and ruined everything.
__________________
Democracy....The minority gets their say but the Majority gets their way!
RisingSun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2018, 11:42 PM   #5638
LadyZ
One Day At A Time
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Southern USA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,568
Thanks: 504
Thanked 389 Times in 336 Posts
LadyZ has disabled reputation
Default

Roses are red,
They’ve prickly thorns by design.
What’s a nice guy like you
Doing in my filthy mind?
I should have been born
With a warning label…
When I explore you,
It may not be stable…
I want to do things
You’ll never forget.
I hope you like rimming!
And never regret…
You can donate your organ
The next time you’re in town…
If it’s safe to land, of course,
And they’re not around.
LadyZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-23-2018, 12:03 AM   #5639
Rob_Line
stirring
 
Rob_Line's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: North Carolina, USA
Age: 47
Posts: 6,039
Thanks: 676
Thanked 1,011 Times in 901 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like
Default

Roses are red
and my god! Are they thorny!
Perhaps to dissuade
those who are horny.


I didn't read your warning label.
I'll take my chances with the rimming.
I have my doubts that you're unstable.
Cause behind that hat brim I can see that you're grinning!


My mind doesn't mind your filth.
Let's get dirty!
Get our organs together
and move past the flirty.
Rob_Line is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Rob_Line For This Useful Post:
LadyZ (09-23-2018)
Old 09-23-2018, 12:18 AM   #5640
Newton
LastOneToPost
 
Newton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: In my chair
Age: 52
Posts: 2,832
Thanks: 279
Thanked 327 Times in 304 Posts
Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like Newton Is God Like
Default

Roses are red
They frequently blush
From squealing in bed
Oh when will they hush
Newton is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Newton For This Useful Post:
LadyZ (09-23-2018)
Old 09-23-2018, 01:15 PM   #5641
LadyZ
One Day At A Time
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Southern USA
Age: 57
Posts: 2,568
Thanks: 504
Thanked 389 Times in 336 Posts
LadyZ has disabled reputation
Default

Roses are red…
I want a bad boy
I want a guy so wicked hot…
I want a boy toy…
Not one too young –
Don’t want to have to train him…
Big enough to rock
My world till I’m insane then,
Put it on auto
And go into a trance…
We’ll cast spells on the mojo
And call it a grand romance.
LadyZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2018, 05:29 PM   #5642
scarlet*rose
Limited edition...
 
scarlet*rose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: England...turn right at Ireland
Age: 56
Posts: 9,245
Thanks: 2,054
Thanked 2,296 Times in 1,910 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like
Default

Roses are red
Lillies are white
Kiss me like that
And I'll blow you all night
__________________
I can't tell if it's killing me or making me stronger...
scarlet*rose is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to scarlet*rose For This Useful Post:
LadyZ (09-24-2018), msu (09-25-2018)
Old 09-24-2018, 05:55 PM   #5643
Rob_Line
stirring
 
Rob_Line's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: North Carolina, USA
Age: 47
Posts: 6,039
Thanks: 676
Thanked 1,011 Times in 901 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like
Default

Roses are red,
but the best are scarlet.
Giving head
not like a harlot


but like a lady consumed by sin.
Greedy and wanton.
Her very touch igniting my skin
until I've forgotten



all I knew of longing.
Her lips on me
make me think wrong things
Until she's drawn my seed.


Then she withdraws
And the longing floods back.
Her grin has the power
to put me on my back
and my bee finds her flower.



Enclosed in her petals
fragrant and wet,
The bee knows its settled.
The best flowers are scarlet.
Rob_Line is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2018, 05:59 PM   #5644
scarlet*rose
Limited edition...
 
scarlet*rose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: England...turn right at Ireland
Age: 56
Posts: 9,245
Thanks: 2,054
Thanked 2,296 Times in 1,910 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like
Default

Roses are red
Rob's on a roll
His imagination
Is taking it's toll
__________________
I can't tell if it's killing me or making me stronger...
scarlet*rose is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to scarlet*rose For This Useful Post:
Rob_Line (09-24-2018)
Old 09-24-2018, 06:05 PM   #5645
Rob_Line
stirring
 
Rob_Line's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: North Carolina, USA
Age: 47
Posts: 6,039
Thanks: 676
Thanked 1,011 Times in 901 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like
Default

Roses are red
and Scarlet's a rose.
Will she give me head
while perched on my nose?
Rob_Line is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2018, 06:09 PM   #5646
scarlet*rose
Limited edition...
 
scarlet*rose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: England...turn right at Ireland
Age: 56
Posts: 9,245
Thanks: 2,054
Thanked 2,296 Times in 1,910 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like
Default

Roses are red
Or scarlet or cream
I'll do that for you
If you make me scream
__________________
I can't tell if it's killing me or making me stronger...
scarlet*rose is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2018, 06:27 PM   #5647
Rob_Line
stirring
 
Rob_Line's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: North Carolina, USA
Age: 47
Posts: 6,039
Thanks: 676
Thanked 1,011 Times in 901 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like
Default

Roses are red
and Scarlet would scream
'cept my mouth's clamped on hers
like I'm in a wet dream.


It started so gently.
A flirt and a wink.
Before I knew it
she was pressed against the sink.


Clawing me in
as I found her heat
God! the touch of her skin!
I'm just nerves and meat


And as our moans
turned into cries,
while she gave me her lows and I gave her my highs,
I realized


our racket would give us away!
So my tongue found her mouth
to keep it at bay.


If we get caught, I have a proposal.
Let's blame it on the garbage disposal?
Rob_Line is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2018, 06:31 PM   #5648
scarlet*rose
Limited edition...
 
scarlet*rose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: England...turn right at Ireland
Age: 56
Posts: 9,245
Thanks: 2,054
Thanked 2,296 Times in 1,910 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like scarlet*rose Is God Like
Default

Good plan
__________________
I can't tell if it's killing me or making me stronger...
scarlet*rose is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to scarlet*rose For This Useful Post:
Rob_Line (09-24-2018)
Old 09-25-2018, 12:21 AM   #5649
msu
made it.....
 
msu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Age: 51
Posts: 23,971
Thanks: 9,801
Thanked 6,588 Times in 5,535 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like msu Is God Like
Default

I got nothin'.
__________________
msu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2018, 12:59 AM   #5650
Rob_Line
stirring
 
Rob_Line's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: North Carolina, USA
Age: 47
Posts: 6,039
Thanks: 676
Thanked 1,011 Times in 901 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like Rob_Line Is God Like
Default

I suppose I haven't been following the spirit of the thread.


Roses are red?
Drop to your knees and give me head.

Roses are white?
Let me suck your clit all night.

Roses are yellow?
I'll cum on your tits with a bellow!

Roses are orange?
You conniving twat, you know nothing rhymes with orange.

Roses blush?
Lemme into your tush!

Roses are thorny?
Expect my text 'cause you made me horny.

Roses are pale?
Lemme get a piece of that tail!

Roses smell good?
So does your clitoral hood!

Roses have a magnificent stem?
Suck me deep 'til I'm covered in phlegm!

You think my mouth's taken over by devils?
I said all of that to get into your petals.
Rob_Line is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
alpheius needs a hobby , i enjoy this thread. , i hate this thread

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:05 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.