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Old 09-30-2009, 05:02 PM   #1
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Default Have you ever wanted to go back and do it all over

I guess part of my thinking lately has been, I love my spouse very much, but recently have been having feelings of wishing I could go back again. Wishing I could go back and date different women. How many here have had these feelings at some point in their marriages?
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Old 09-30-2009, 06:03 PM   #2
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I think every married person feels that some times.
I do most of the time .
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Old 09-30-2009, 06:09 PM   #3
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All the time. It's natural to think things like this, especially when you're going through some rough times. I mean, who doesn't have that one person that you came close to marrying or getting serious with that you wish you could have played that situation out? I know I do. But at the end of all those daydreams, I realize that had I ended up with that other guy or dated more, I'd probably still be unsatisfied today, because I am changing and I am outgrowing my situation. Growing pains are going to happen no matter who you're with... So keep fantasizing about that girl with the big boobs you knew once upon a time, but remember there was a reason you're with that woman down the hall... (whew!! sorry for being a Chatty Cathy... lol)
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Old 09-30-2009, 06:18 PM   #4
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I got married when I was 18 and dated him since I was 15 so I have had thoughts of what it would have been like to have dated a few other guys before I got married. Who knows though it may not have ended up so well
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Old 09-30-2009, 06:18 PM   #5
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I got married when I was 18 and dated him since I was 15 so I have had thoughts of what it would have been like to have dated a few other guys before I got married. Who knows though it may not have ended up so well
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Old 09-30-2009, 06:58 PM   #6
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Yeah...I agree with Tempest...I was who I was THEN and he was the best for me then. I had no DOUBTS on my wedding day at all. But I grew & I changed & evolved. I try not to regret, just move forward.
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Old 09-30-2009, 07:08 PM   #7
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quite often think about that, and do things different
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Old 09-30-2009, 07:52 PM   #8
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Absolutely!! However, I made the right decision for me at that time. It's easy to glamourize the past, especially if the present is rocky. You have to remember that as you changed, the person you left behind probably did as well, and perhaps in a way that wouldn't fit your present needs. There is a reason you didn't go down that path in the first place. Life is all about lessons learned and no good ever comes from reliving the past with "woulda/coulda/shoulda".
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Old 09-30-2009, 08:02 PM   #9
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Absolutely!! However, I made the right decision for me at that time. It's easy to glamourize the past, especially if the present is rocky. You have to remember that as you changed, the person you left behind probably did as well, and perhaps in a way that wouldn't fit your present needs. There is a reason you didn't go down that path in the first place. Life is all about lessons learned and no good ever comes from reliving the past with "woulda/coulda/shoulda".

What she said.
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Old 09-30-2009, 08:04 PM   #10
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I think that is total normal behavior. Its always nice to think "what if" because we always glamourize it in our minds.
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Old 09-30-2009, 08:05 PM   #11
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I had to think about this one....if i changed anything id risk not having my children...they are my life-even though they are grown and now i am on my own so to speak... i still talk to them all every day and love the intimite details of who they are and what they are thinking-dreams goals, plans, that sort of thing...
in that respect id not change a thing.
The future however is a different story..i know what i want...its a good feeling
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Old 09-30-2009, 08:18 PM   #12
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I'm the same but I always try and remember the reasons i got married. I love my wife and the kids she gave me so much, but there is always that nagging thing in the back of my head that says what if?

What if? Are two very big words and as Tempest, Sneaky and disturbiagirl all intimated, there are reasons you didn't end up with that person you had an amazing time with.

I have had more fun in the bedroom with other girls than my Wife but..... I couldn't see myself sharing my life with them.

Marriage is more than just fun in the bedroom (although it is an important part of it) it is a partnership and a friendship too.

Time also has a way of making you forget the bad stuff too and you tend to look back with rose tinted glasses.
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Old 09-30-2009, 08:29 PM   #13
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I would just because I miss being stupid! I miss when my babies were young and I truly believed that everything would be okay. I miss thinking love was enough. So I would do it over again just because it was nice and I liked being stupid in love!!!
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Old 10-01-2009, 07:09 AM   #14
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All the time ...
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Old 10-01-2009, 10:12 AM   #15
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Quote:
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I had to think about this one....if i changed anything id risk not having my children...they are my life-even though they are grown and now i am on my own so to speak... i still talk to them all every day and love the intimite details of who they are and what they are thinking-dreams goals, plans, that sort of thing...
in that respect id not change a thing.
The future however is a different story..i know what i want...its a good feeling
The children comment is an absolutely good point.
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Old 10-01-2009, 10:17 AM   #16
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I think about it too.. Only so I could love those that have been in my life all over again just a little bit harder, so they know that I really did love them..
Oh there are a couple I'd throw out!
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Old 10-01-2009, 10:57 AM   #17
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yea.......dont quite know what i need to find
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Old 10-01-2009, 11:20 AM   #18
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as we ask ourselves this question, so do our spouses. Do people sometimes CHOOSE to grow apart instead of grow together? Will we be 80, on our 10th marriage, thinking its time once again to trade up?
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Old 10-01-2009, 11:24 AM   #19
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Hindsight is always 100%.

That said, I wouldn't. A very bad decision on my part gave me the most precious gift of my life: my daughter.
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Old 10-02-2009, 01:51 AM   #20
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Quote:
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Hindsight is always 100%.

That said, I wouldn't. A very bad decision on my part gave me the most precious gift of my life: my daughter.
that is so true
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Old 10-02-2009, 05:43 PM   #21
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I am a firm believer in "Everything happens for a reason" you might have a few regrets along the way... but you learn from everything you do .. right or wrong. So no I wouldn't do them over... I just learn to live with my choices.
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Old 10-02-2009, 06:17 PM   #22
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yes, if i could go back, i would do many things differently. i would not have married my spouse, though i would have kept him as a friend.
i have outgrown my present situation, but there is no way i could change it without destroying him.
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Old 10-02-2009, 06:46 PM   #23
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absolutely,...you always wonder 'what if', but what if it turned out to be so much worse? Sometimes you just need to count your blessings I think.
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Old 10-02-2009, 07:10 PM   #24
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I thought about it many many times ... but then I realize I most likely wouldn't have married him .. I wouldn't have my children .. I wouldn't have divorced him ... and I wouldn't be the woman I am today. So go back ? No way ..
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Old 10-03-2009, 12:29 AM   #25
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It is probably inevitable that most ask themselves the "what if" question at
some point during their life. But don't your experiences both good and bad
ultimately make you WHO YOU ARE? So maybe, it is good that we cannot
go back...........that we are forced to learn from our mistakes and live with their
consequences. And in the end, hopefully something good will ultimately grow
from them all.
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