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Everyday Life For Married Couples A forum for couples to chat about your everyday married life. This would be a good place for women and men to get to know eachother. |
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#1 |
Sexy Tiger on the Prowl
![]() Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Arizona
Age: 47
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![]() So here is a question for you all
What do you do with a spouse that wants to know everything you are doing, or wants to know who all your friends are. Do you believe that you need private space? My wife and I have an agreement that we can make friends with who ever we want as long as it does not interfere with our family. I was wondering on this question because of some of my friends can't have friends because their spouse is so controlling. |
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#3 |
Elusive Flirting Goddess
![]() Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Forever Ever After
Age: 51
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![]() Well my spouse has spent years driving me crazy with jealousy over stupid things, monitoring our bank account, giving me the 3rd degree on friends and basically smothering me. I guess I "let it happen" by ignoring it or just not putting a stop to it until earlier this year. He even got to the point where I had to go to bed when he was or he couldn't sleep! At the point I was looking forward to him taking a sleeping pill so I could climb out of bed and go socialize I knew I needed to make a change. I finally told him there was no way I could live like this and things needed to change or our living arrangements would. I am much happier now that I took the stand and actually feel like I am doing a little better than existing in life now.
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“Beauty isn't about having a pretty face it's about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and a pretty soul.” |
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#4 |
Sexy Tiger on the Prowl
![]() Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Arizona
Age: 47
Posts: 6,198
Thanks: 398
Thanked 611 Times in 566 Posts
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![]() My wife does know a few of my friends I talk to on here. It makes it so she does not get to jealous of my time.
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#5 | |
Dog Lover
![]() Join Date: Sep 2007
Age: 55
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As far as Duane is concerned, we are honest and upfront about who were are friends with. That way there is no reason to distrust.
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Dogs...because people suck |
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#6 |
Sexy Tiger on the Prowl
![]() Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Arizona
Age: 47
Posts: 6,198
Thanks: 398
Thanked 611 Times in 566 Posts
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![]() Good for you Sunny... we need to be able to have freedom in our lives
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The Following User Says Thank You to sexytiger For This Useful Post: |
SunnyD (07-27-2008)
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#7 |
this space for rent
I Love It Here
Join Date: Apr 2006
Age: 56
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![]() We have our separate friends and some we share......
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#8 | |
Dog Lover
![]() Join Date: Sep 2007
Age: 55
Posts: 18,579
Thanks: 10,475
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Dogs...because people suck |
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#9 |
Sexy Tiger on the Prowl
![]() Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Arizona
Age: 47
Posts: 6,198
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![]() That is an empty threat if you life is all ready miserable.
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#10 |
Sexy Tiger on the Prowl
![]() Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Arizona
Age: 47
Posts: 6,198
Thanks: 398
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#11 |
Dog Lover
![]() Join Date: Sep 2007
Age: 55
Posts: 18,579
Thanks: 10,475
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He threatened to take the kids away...and if that didn't work, to turn them away from me....
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Dogs...because people suck |
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#12 |
Elusive Flirting Goddess
![]() Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Forever Ever After
Age: 51
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Mine threatened to kill himself and leave me to explain it all to the kids! Unfortunately, I could really see him doing something like that too. My hubby has grown up so much in the last 20 yrs and he is "family" to me, but after raising him I just am not "in love" with him like I need to be happy! Only time will tell for us, but I wish you the best in your journey!
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“Beauty isn't about having a pretty face it's about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and a pretty soul.” |
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Sensual Woman (07-27-2008)
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#13 |
Gone for Awhile......
![]() Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Missouri
Age: 40
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![]() I never thought of my spouse as controlling until I started counseling....and realized he sabotaged every opportunity for me to have friends.
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#14 |
Dog Lover
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Age: 55
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Sounds a lot like mine....I don't feel anything for him anymore....
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Dogs...because people suck |
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#15 | |
Sexy Tiger on the Prowl
![]() Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Arizona
Age: 47
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Wow.. that is just not right. I have encourage my wife to join a bowling league to make more friends. It has not worked out yet; but at least she is getting out of the house more. Of course I did get suckered in to join the league with her because they were short people. |
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#17 |
Princess
![]() Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
Age: 40
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![]() My hubby can be really controlling. But in a really sweet, manipulative way. Sometimes I don't even think he realizes that he does it. He wants to know my every moment, thought, conversation. When I get off the phone he will ask who I was talking to, what was said, blah blah. But he does it like he is really interested, so it is confusing.
He is working on it, and trying to stop, and unfortunately, it takes me being a total bitch sometimes and just saying, I NEED SPACE! And it hurts his feelings. It used to be the exact opposite, I was the needy and clingy one. But then I got over it, and got my own life, and he freaked out. *sigh* I'd love to know how others have dealt with it.
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"In memory, everthing seems to happen to music." ~Tennesse Williams |
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Nick182 (07-28-2008)
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#18 |
Sexy Tiger on the Prowl
![]() Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Arizona
Age: 47
Posts: 6,198
Thanks: 398
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![]() I have been the clingy type in the past. I have got over that. I like to be social sometimes as well as in my own little world.
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#19 |
The Mad Hatter
![]() Join Date: May 2008
Age: 53
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![]() Maybe it's because we married in our mid/late 30's, but my husband respects my independence. Neither of us are jealous people, and understand the need to have our own friends, male and female. He also knows I'm fiercly independent and never tries to change that about me. Hmmm...maybe he should.
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#20 |
Sexy Tiger on the Prowl
![]() Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Arizona
Age: 47
Posts: 6,198
Thanks: 398
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![]() That is so cool Stella... why can't everyone be like that?
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#21 | |
Dog Lover
![]() Join Date: Sep 2007
Age: 55
Posts: 18,579
Thanks: 10,475
Thanked 5,336 Times in 3,711 Posts
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Dogs...because people suck |
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#22 |
Flirting Goddess
![]() Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ala-Bammy!!!
Age: 54
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![]() We have our seperate friends...and we have friends we share...since we have spent the last 15 months apart...I am not really looking for alone time...but if I wanted it I could have it...without getting the third degree!!!! And the same goes for him!!!!
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Looking to touch...and be touched.... |
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#23 |
Super Flirt
![]() Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: CA
Age: 51
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![]() i think i almost wish my husband was more involved and nosey, he isn't at all, perhaps it is due to his trust in me, but i have turned that perception of trust into his having a lack of concern.........good times!!!
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#24 |
Life is short, live it!
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![]() I can tell you from watching my best friend and seeing what she goes through with a controlling husband. She is unhappy, feels trapped and does not have a life at home. She can not enjoy her kids or her friends and not even her own mother without having to go threw arguments for even talking to them. It is so sad that another person can be so worried about someones life and treat them like they have no worth, that they can't see what they are doing to their own family. If he would open his eyes and see what he is doing, his own life would be so much better. His wife and children would love and respect him so much more.
Last edited by Constance; 07-28-2008 at 11:42 AM. |
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softrosepetal (07-28-2008)
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#25 |
Soloist extraordinaire
![]() Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Dans mes rêves
Age: 40
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![]() I would never think to use the word controlling for mine but he does one thing that might be viewed as controlling.....maybe not.
Anyways, one thing that my hubby does is that when he comes home, he asks me about my day but he wants to know from the minute he left the house, until the minute he stepped back in the house. I mean EVERY MINUTE....and he can tell when I leave out details because he'll question the timing ("ya but that wouldn't have taken 2 hours...what did you do in between then?"). I feel like a child when he does this...it puts me on the defensive for no reason (well, recently maybe there's a reason because i come here and then lie about it). He has done this for years and years...he's not suspicious of me or anything...it's just something he does. |
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