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Everyday Life For Married Couples A forum for couples to chat about your everyday married life. This would be a good place for women and men to get to know eachother.

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Old 07-29-2008, 04:55 PM   #51
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Well first of all I wouldn't be in a relationship like that because I would have told him to fuck off long ago....

But I'm a real believer in having personal space and limits...like I don't go through his wallet and he knows he better stay the hell away from my purse....(pet peeve)...
I'm a very strong person, independant and capable. I'm surprised i ended up marrying someone so controlling.

Mind you, he does it well! It took a long time for me to realize he had motives to ask all those questions, and it was not to know if i had a good time or if i found what i was looking for!

When i come home from shopping, he has been online checking our bank transactions, he always asks who is calling, he gets all the bills...

All that happened little by little. He will not let me go to be before or after him.

worse part is, i've never given him any reason to be so suspicious of me, and although i agree that he has insecurities, HE owns them, not me. I,m not his schrink or his mother. And everytime i confront him about it, he denies it violently, saying i'm always assuming bad faith when it comes to him. I really don't see how to get that cycle to stop.
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Old 07-30-2008, 07:01 AM   #52
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you learn to be more private where you can afford to be....duhhh!
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Old 07-30-2008, 07:39 AM   #53
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Well first of all I wouldn't be in a relationship like that because I would have told him to fuck off long ago....

But I'm a real believer in having personal space and limits...like I don't go through his wallet and he knows he better stay the hell away from my purse....(pet peeve)...
Hey, Hey, Hey....love that phrase in the English language, "fuck off"... it is so gross and full of power...and means actually nothing...
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Old 05-29-2017, 08:18 AM   #54
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So...you mean like having your nuts in a vice?
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Old 05-29-2017, 08:48 AM   #55
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My wife is the controlling type. When I first recognized this I thought it to be almost as an act of war. Fought like crazy for several years and a couple times I've threatened her with divorce if she didn't knock it off.
She's gotten better but I still need to remind her that I need my space and I'm not going to let her get away it.
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Old 05-29-2017, 09:09 AM   #56
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Never had this issue with superman. I get my time with my friends and he gets his. We have a few common friends. He knows he would or for that matter, any other husband/boyfriend would get roasted on our girls night so no one takes that risk lol
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Old 05-29-2017, 10:01 AM   #57
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my husband has his own methods of control, unfortunately you don't even know its happened until its too late.... his claim to fame is that he will keep my boys from me... he tries to subtly get them to think they don't need me and only need him....he tries to put timeframes on when I will be home, mind you there are 4 cars in the driveway not just mine so its not like he can't leave the house...

I don't know is there any such thing as happiness anymore. I seem to think one day I will get my turn... but I know with kids... there will always be some control factor and I love them to be anything other than a good mom.... so here I am...
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Old 05-29-2017, 10:09 AM   #58
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my husband has his own methods of control, unfortunately you don't even know its happened until its too late.... his claim to fame is that he will keep my boys from me... he tries to subtly get them to think they don't need me and only need him....he tries to put timeframes on when I will be home, mind you there are 4 cars in the driveway not just mine so its not like he can't leave the house...

I don't know is there any such thing as happiness anymore. I seem to think one day I will get my turn... but I know with kids... there will always be some control factor and I love them to be anything other than a good mom.... so here I am...
You are an awesome mom. I know. I have watched you give selflessly for a long time, with little recognition or appreciation.
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Old 05-29-2017, 11:39 AM   #59
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I missed this thread. My life resonates with many who've written about a controlling spouse. At first one doesn't realize and then one day you wake up and you've lost yourself.

Mine questions everything, if I stop at the store, I'm supposed to make sure he knows. If I fail to tell him, I'm not being courteous. He questions being 15 min later than normal coming home. It's ridiculous. What can one do in 15 min? I've told him that I stopped to give someone a blowjob, just to shut him up. Yet, it's not a small victory to have a smart ass come back, it's actually sad.

He used to threaten taking the kids, now they are all adults. I've heard the suicide remarks. To try and keep me from having friends, he'd tell me they didn't really like me. Even tries that now, but it doesn't work anymore. I never have his approval for anything, yet he does whatever he wants and I've never complained. I love to volunteer, it's stupid. I was almost a marrow donor, but last minute they found a better match. He fought that all the way.

If we are lucky enough to get even part of our life back, the battles up to that point, leave you exhausted and unfeeling toward them. He has now turned to making me feel inadequate, I just let him know he's free to find someone else and I even dream he does. I know I should leave, there's nothing here for me, but it would be a huge fight and I really have no where and no savings to depend on. We look like we have money, but we don't have anything to liquidate and I'd get half a business with debt I didn't create, but have to share responsibility in.....
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Old 05-29-2017, 11:54 AM   #60
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I missed this thread. My life resonates with many who've written about a controlling spouse. At first one doesn't realize and then one day you wake up and you've lost yourself.

Mine questions everything, if I stop at the store, I'm supposed to make sure he knows. If I fail to tell him, I'm not being courteous. He questions being 15 min later than normal coming home. It's ridiculous. What can one do in 15 min? I've told him that I stopped to give someone a blowjob, just to shut him up. Yet, it's not a small victory to have a smart ass come back, it's actually sad.

He used to threaten taking the kids, now they are all adults. I've heard the suicide remarks. To try and keep me from having friends, he'd tell me they didn't really like me. Even tries that now, but it doesn't work anymore. I never have his approval for anything, yet he does whatever he wants and I've never complained. I love to volunteer, it's stupid. I was almost a marrow donor, but last minute they found a better match. He fought that all the way.

If we are lucky enough to get even part of our life back, the battles up to that point, leave you exhausted and unfeeling toward them. He has now turned to making me feel inadequate, I just let him know he's free to find someone else and I even dream he does. I know I should leave, there's nothing here for me, but it would be a huge fight and I really have no where and no savings to depend on. We look like we have money, but we don't have anything to liquidate and I'd get half a business with debt I didn't create, but have to share responsibility in.....
Sounds exactly like my situation. I have no family other than my kids. He would take everything from me including my kids who amazingly don't want me to leave despite what they have witnessed. One is an adult the other is about to turn 17. I would end up broke and homeless and alone.
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Old 05-29-2017, 12:40 PM   #61
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When I'm out with the wife she'll try to control the conversations I have with other women by jumping right and hogging the conversation while trying to ignore me when I try to say anymore. Pisses me off so now I leave her at home whenever possible.
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Old 05-29-2017, 01:38 PM   #62
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When I'm out with the wife she'll try to control the conversations I have with other women by jumping right and hogging the conversation while trying to ignore me when I try to say anymore. Pisses me off so now I leave her at home whenever possible.
Maybe she just feels left out
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Old 05-29-2017, 02:50 PM   #63
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Me and the wife have a pretty good deal going...we tend both be respectful without feeling controlled or controlling ...these include simple things like texting if I am going to be home later than expected ...the trick is that we make easy for each to send the text ...we don't heckle or harass each other when we send the "out with friends won't be home till late" text. We have certainly grown apart, but it is ok because we both enjoy the lives we live and I don't want to muff hers up because I don't want her muffing mine.

And, I use that easy bridle with a small soft riding crop ... *wink*
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Old 05-29-2017, 03:56 PM   #64
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Soon to be ex is controlling. He used to get mad at me for spending money, kept me separated from everyone and kept me dependent on him. Made me feel like I was nothing without him.

Fuck that.....and fuck that asshole.
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Old 05-29-2017, 03:59 PM   #65
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Soon to be ex is controlling. He used to get mad at me for spending money, kept me separated from everyone and kept me dependent on him. Made me feel like I was nothing without him.

Fuck that.....and fuck that asshole.
his loss!!!
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Old 05-29-2017, 06:25 PM   #66
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Maybe she just feels left out
I used to think that at first. But I've since come to realize that it's jealousy that's behind it since the way she acts when I'm talking to a woman is much different than when I'm talking to a guy.
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Old 05-29-2017, 06:28 PM   #67
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I'm so glad that my wife isn't the jealous type, I'd have no friends as they are mostly women
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Old 05-29-2017, 06:32 PM   #68
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I'm so glad that my wife isn't the jealous type, I'd have no friends as they are mostly women
Call yourself lucky!
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Old 05-29-2017, 06:35 PM   #69
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My wife questions nothing .
Unless I spend money.
True story.
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Old 05-29-2017, 06:36 PM   #70
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Call yourself lucky!

I do
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Old 05-29-2017, 06:41 PM   #71
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I do
Dang, Lets trade! Mines a very good cook.
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Old 05-29-2017, 06:47 PM   #72
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no deal, I can buy food but not freedom

did i mention mine likes the nude beach too?
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Old 05-29-2017, 06:50 PM   #73
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no deal, I can buy food but not freedom

did i mention mine likes the nude beach too?
OK, but can still have mine. Just don't send her back!
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Old 05-29-2017, 06:53 PM   #74
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OK, but can still have mine. Just don't send her back!
send your wife to the person at the top of the list, in 28 days you will receive 1,689,824,611 wives, one of much must be better than the one you sent

the instructions fail to say what to do with the surplus wives
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Old 05-29-2017, 06:58 PM   #75
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send your wife to the person at the top of the list, in 28 days you will receive 1,689,824,611 wives, one of much must be better than the one you sent

the instructions fail to say what to do with the surplus wives
That doesn't sound like that bad of an idea. With 1,689,824,611 wives I can pick and choose the good ones & hide from the rest!
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