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Old 09-29-2008, 06:50 PM   #26
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I guess the activity in this thread has finally stopped. I just wanted to take a moment and thank everyone for their thoughts. I've gained a greater understanding and I'm feeling quite a bit better about things.

Thanks to all.
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Old 09-29-2008, 06:55 PM   #27
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I'm trying to be a lot slower than normal about giving out specific details about myself. I've just basically started saying what state I am from and then allowing the conversation to build up before giving the regional city. Unless I am really comfortable with a person my real email addresses and my full name may never be given (although I have let a couple of my other emails slip once). It seems that years ago I wasn't as cautious about that stuff but fortunately for me it never came back to haunt me.
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Old 09-30-2008, 08:38 AM   #28
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I don't think there is a set time to start giving private info.

I'm not very good at it all.

And I guess I'm one of the stupid ones, my regular hotmail, the one i've had for nearly 15 years (no worries, i got a new one recently) has my name in it, oh and at my job too. I think that it all depends on why they were set up. Down the line, they might not be used for that same purpose only anymore.

I think, in real life and in online life, that if someone wants to cause problems, they will find a way. I never ask for personal information, well, i rarely ask any personal questions either lol. I think its about respect: what you want to share, you will.
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Old 09-30-2008, 09:50 AM   #29
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When the time is right u will open up to one another. It will feel rite. So very right. Trust has to be there, tho.
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Old 09-30-2008, 09:55 AM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rj1002 View Post
The question I have is: When? At what point do you expect the other person to share his or her personal information with you? At what point do you offer to share yours?

The corollary question: Do you assume from the start that the name the other party is using is his or her actual real name?

Final question a hypothetical: You have met someone in here and a relationship has developed. At this point it is strictly chat and email. You are not security conscious and have always used your real name. Your partner is security conscious and has been using a false last name and has decided it is the appropriate time to make you aware of that.

Situation 1 He or she tells you and tells you his/her full name.
Situation 2 He or she cops to the deception and is still not willing to reveal his/her full name but indicates he/she might be willing to do so in time.

How do you react?

I am pretty open about myself.. I tend to give up my information pretty fast... not my last name, only a few people know that... and now that my divorce is final I am starting to be more wary...

because I am so open, I usually trust that others are also.. I am very honest about everything and I expect that in return... therefore I am very hurt if I find out that I have been lied to.. I ask only for the truth and nothing more.. and I do not ask for personal information on someone, if they want to give it to me that is their decision... If I am curious then I have become too attached to that person... but the few I have become attached to have gladly shared that with me so I have not needed to ask...

I will say you do have to be careful however... there are some real nutjobs out there...
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Old 09-30-2008, 11:00 AM   #31
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I don't give my last name, but do give my real first name readily (hence my user name here). I have a couple of Yahoo email addresses that I use to chat with guys, answer personal ads, etc. I have been seeing a guy for almost a year and it was months before he knew my last name. He never asked and it just never came up.

I've met a couple of guys recently through personal ads that have their whole name in their email address. I just wouldn't do that personally.
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Old 11-15-2008, 10:36 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rj1002 View Post
The question I have is: When? At what point do you expect the other person to share his or her personal information with you? At what point do you offer to share yours?
Well, I would like to know first names if we ever decided to meet and would share my real first name almost any time. It's a common name so how would they search out information about me? I'd definitely be embarrassed and upset if I learned they had given me a fake first name. If I'm going to get in trouble for talking in my sleep, I'd at least like to have the name correct.

Last names and other information can come later, especially if there was intimacy involved. I don't have a problem sharing it if things went that far and would expect reciprocation in-kind. It's a matter of trust and if you're to that point, I'd hope there'd be at least a modicum of trust.



Quote:
Originally Posted by rj1002 View Post
The corollary question: Do you assume from the start that the name the other party is using is his or her actual real name?
Yes. I'm a pretty trusting person until I find out otherwise.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rj1002 View Post
Final question a hypothetical: You have met someone in here and a relationship has developed. At this point it is strictly chat and email. You are not security conscious and have always used your real name. Your partner is security conscious and has been using a false last name and has decided it is the appropriate time to make you aware of that.

Situation 1 He or she tells you and tells you his/her full name.
Situation 2 He or she cops to the deception and is still not willing to reveal his/her full name but indicates he/she might be willing to do so in time.
Your proviso was still at the chat and email phase. In this case, refer to above.

Still, all my email accounts that I use to communicate on sites like this are based on fictitious information and daisy-chained so the furthest from the original site, the less likely you're going to trace me.
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Old 11-17-2008, 07:53 PM   #33
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This may be relevant
http://edmonton.ctv.ca/servlet/an/lo...2?hub=Edmonton
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Old 11-17-2008, 08:01 PM   #34
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I trust my instincts 100% though ,I got a pretty good feeling right from the get-go , as a show of faith , I usally give my name, number , whatever , and I can be confirmed by google quite fast once u got that stuff - I can see it from a womens point of view though , there are a lot of sick f**cks out there , and I think its up to the guy to earn that trust. That being said , I have only met one women in real life , and made a couple damn good freinds ,so I aint no expert
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Old 11-17-2008, 09:00 PM   #35
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I think a lot may depend on where you are...what type of a room are you in or site are you on? There are some places whereby instincts are not as accurate as other places...ppl are that good at what they do to satisfy their agenda. This is what my thoughts tell me....the key word is patience...and most pretenders have none.

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I trust my instincts 100% though ,I got a pretty good feeling right from the get-go , as a show of faith , I usally give my name, number , whatever , and I can be confirmed by google quite fast once u got that stuff - I can see it from a womens point of view though , there are a lot of sick f**cks out there , and I think its up to the guy to earn that trust. That being said , I have only met one women in real life , and made a couple damn good freinds ,so I aint no expert
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Old 11-17-2008, 10:39 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TIGUY View Post
I think a lot may depend on where you are...what type of a room are you in or site are you on? There are some places whereby instincts are not as accurate as other places...ppl are that good at what they do to satisfy their agenda. This is what my thoughts tell me....the key word is patience...and most pretenders have none.
A good point , If hang out in a room with some regulars , A lot of the legwork is done already , u can tell some people have gotten the respect of others already , so u can assume some things on that basis alone
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Old 11-17-2008, 11:34 PM   #37
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987-65-4321 Go for it.
Ummm well Thanks Krystal........I knew I shouldn't have given you my info.....LMAO!!!!
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Old 11-30-2008, 10:50 PM   #38
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wow; interesting post. I seem to remember someone lying about his real last name when first met. You have an interesting way to spin things, its always rather fascinated me. A player indeed.
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Old 10-21-2016, 05:00 PM   #39
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Ummm....when he starts to run his hand up between your thighs? Duh?
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Old 11-02-2017, 11:09 PM   #40
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Ummm when he puts his head down there? Duh?
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Old 11-06-2017, 04:14 AM   #41
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There is no real time limit. Some people you connect with right away, others take time. Some you will never ever open up to. It's that simple. When ever you feel like you have that connection and trust.
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Old 12-09-2017, 11:35 PM   #42
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Once you build a repor and really get to know someone. Some take a long time, some are instant.
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Old 12-22-2017, 12:39 AM   #43
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When he does....
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Old 12-22-2017, 10:34 AM   #44
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When you hear abbra cadabbra
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Old 12-22-2017, 12:08 PM   #45
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errrr...when he does a background check
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Old 12-24-2017, 10:26 AM   #46
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Old 01-31-2018, 06:55 AM   #47
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I think I open up fairly quickly when I feel comfortable with someone.
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