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Everyday Life For Married Couples A forum for couples to chat about your everyday married life. This would be a good place for women and men to get to know eachother.

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Old 08-17-2007, 02:27 AM   #76
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Originally Posted by Guymisseswife
I am sorry to everyone that we did not tell you we were married. we had enjoyed good flirting and good insight to each other. we wanted to keep us quiet to keep us going, i guess that did not work
Well, I will say one thing --- honesty doesn't seem to be a prime characteristic, does it?
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Old 08-17-2007, 02:33 AM   #77
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wow...heavy subject...not sure what else to say except not telling people you were a couple is no big deal..a personal choice is all I see...

what I do think is we are seeing one side of a story here and think its best for me to mind my own business

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Old 08-17-2007, 10:51 AM   #78
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Originally Posted by spare_change
Well, I will say one thing --- honesty doesn't seem to be a prime characteristic, does it?
Nothing like kickin a guy when he's down! I will say one thing... compassion doesn't seem to be a prime characteristic, does it?
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Old 08-17-2007, 11:07 AM   #79
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Originally Posted by Annie
Nothing like kickin a guy when he's down! I will say one thing... compassion doesn't seem to be a prime characteristic, does it?
yeah i want to add that my wife and me knew who we were. we are honest with each other. sure there was a week we did not know for sure but thats a minor detail in the grand scheme. we are very honest with each other
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Old 08-17-2007, 11:26 AM   #80
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Actually, I have told him everything I could think of to tell him in the last week. Spilled every thing I've done that he didn't know about. So, yeah, honesty is there... now. Better late than never I guess. To respect him, and to be able to stay friends, I am going to continue to be honest with him, and not do anything to break the agreement we have while living in the same house. We have alot to work out, and financial stuff to figure out, before I can move out. So its going to be a long process, and I'd prefer us to be friends for sure. We have a daughter together, so its not gonna be a case of just walking away. We are tied together for the rest of our lives, through her.
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Old 08-17-2007, 11:28 AM   #81
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yes, we are on the same page and honest. and i respect you hun. we discussed it alot last night and have a few ideas. yes it will take awhile to get it straight. and i may have lost my wife but i refuse to lose my best friend.
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Old 08-17-2007, 11:39 AM   #82
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I know so many other here have reached out to the both of you but I want to as well. Please stay on the site and let it help you keep your friendship if it cant save your marriage. Anytime either of you could use a hug I would be glad to offer you one.
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Old 08-17-2007, 11:40 AM   #83
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I know so many other here have reached out to the both of you but I want to as well. Please stay on the site and let it help you keep your friendship if it cant save your marriage. Anytime either of you could use a hug I would be glad to offer you one.
back atcha
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Old 08-17-2007, 11:41 AM   #84
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Nothing like kickin a guy when he's down! I will say one thing... compassion doesn't seem to be a prime characteristic, does it?
You're awesome
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Old 08-17-2007, 11:42 AM   #85
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I think you both know how I feel. We're here for you any time! I wish the three of you nothing but the best.
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Old 08-17-2007, 11:45 AM   #86
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yeah annie and mighty ima and the rest of you girls i forgot because im not thinking straight...i love to thank you all for being so sweet
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Old 08-17-2007, 11:58 AM   #87
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Jeez I am confused! So are PhoenixFlirt and Guy actually man and wife? and if not who is? Sorry to sound a complete plonker!
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Old 08-17-2007, 11:59 AM   #88
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yes we are
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:02 PM   #89
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Yes, but we are separating. Trying to remain friendly, which I think we can do.
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:08 PM   #90
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Wow! ok... well I think the fact you have now admitted that is a positive step in the right direction! This site is a powerful resource for people with problems, a place where support, information and advice (and a lot of TLC) can be readily drawn upon when needed!. However, it is what you do with all that is the key and obviously very much up to you both to discuss it. I wish you both well I really do!
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:10 PM   #91
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Wow! ok... well I think the fact you have now admitted that is a positive step in the right direction! This site is a powerful resource for people with problems, a place where support, information and advice (and a lot of TLC) can be readily drawn upon when needed!. However, it is what you do with all that is the key and obviously very much up to you both to discuss it. I wish you both well I really do!
Thanks sweetie, I think we will rely on this site, and all of the experiences people have had here, to help us through this.
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:11 PM   #92
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Originally Posted by PhoenixFlirt
Yes, but we are separating. Trying to remain friendly, which I think we can do.
I am so very sorry to hear that, I admire you both for being so open and honest about it all! Do you think you'll both stay on here?
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:12 PM   #93
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we will be living together for quite some time as we have many issues to sort out before she can actually leave. we dont hate each other and i dont hold much hope that the next year or so will change things but we will be living tgether making our progress towards whatever she needs to do. she is a good mom and my best friend. i will not allow this to break our friendship. we have too much good together as friends to destroy that. yeah maybe she changes her mind while she is still here but i really dont count on that. it is just that shimmer of hope in the back of my head. I love her dearly and am not going to try and change her mind. if she changes it on her own then that is great, if not we go foreward and remain good friends forever.
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:16 PM   #94
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I have to say, you are two lucky people in one aspect! Being able to both express yourselves like this, don't think many of us on here have ever had that opportunity!
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:18 PM   #95
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i dont feel real lucky..lol but i do agree i am as long as i keep her as my best friend
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:38 PM   #96
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I just found this thread today, and it is really sad to see two people going through this kind of hell. I am sorry for you both, I've been there myself. I maybe completely way off course here but this is what I think, just a quick summary because I know things are a lot more complicated than this.

Guy, you don't want it to end, you don't want to let her go, you are pushing her for counseling and begging for conversation in hopes of salvaging your marriage. You still love her very much, you aren't quite sure how it ever got to this point.

Phoenix, you're fed up, you're tired of trying, you have reached a point and all you want is out. You don't think counseling will help because you've already made up your mind and you are feeling smothered by his attempts right now. You still love him, but you aren't in love with him.


First of all there are no quick fixes. Counseling can help IF you BOTH are willing to go and to try to make it work. One person can't fix this marriage. I don't know all the details, it's really none of my business why things are like they are between you both. Guy, you have to realize that you can't want it to work enough for both of you, she has to want it too. I know having a child makes this situation all the harder. You guys are planning on staying together for a year to get things in order financially. At this point you're still friends, work hard to keep it that way. It's not fun when the situation turns nasty and spiteful.

I wish you both the best of luck. I am a true believer in love. If you both truly ever loved each other, you can again. But, it takes a lot of work, a lot of sweat and tears from both of you. It won't happen overnight, but it can happen if you want it to. At this point, trying maybe the last thing she wants to do, but in time she might give it a chance. Unfotunately you may have to give her the space she needs and there is no guarantee she will ever want to try.

Guy I know you think this stems from her depression, but I would bet there is more to it that that. You guys have underlying problems and the depression is more of a symptom, not a cause.
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