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Old 08-25-2008, 07:34 PM   #1
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Default things ive learnt watching porn

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't
disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend catches you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip
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The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to manitee For This Useful Post:
Atrebla Rose (08-26-2008), bigwazoo (08-26-2008), FeIsTy FaV (08-26-2008), fourisit (08-26-2008), Frenchie_lady (08-26-2008), kissme (08-28-2008), Orca08 (08-26-2008), rj1002 (08-26-2008), Taren (08-26-2008), Thumpintwin (08-26-2008), Torin (08-26-2008)
Old 08-26-2008, 12:13 PM   #2
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This cracked me up.
Thanks
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Old 08-26-2008, 12:25 PM   #3
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Woooo, that certainly had me laughing! Thanks!
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Old 08-26-2008, 12:46 PM   #4
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That was great. Thanks for the laugh.
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Old 08-26-2008, 12:52 PM   #5
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LMAO....that brightened my Monday morning!
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Old 08-26-2008, 12:56 PM   #6
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarriedQt View Post
LMAO....that brightened my Monday morning!
Darling, you may be a bit further west of me, but today is Tuesday...
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Old 08-26-2008, 01:06 PM   #7
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by manitee View Post
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
unless its a water bed, then they wear flats
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Old 08-26-2008, 01:17 PM   #8
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Here I thought I was the only one that learned those things lol.
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Old 08-26-2008, 01:22 PM   #9
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I thought the guys in porn were supposed to be well hung.......
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Old 08-26-2008, 01:32 PM   #10
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that was great. DL is calling QT darling? hmmmmmmm sounds like i might enjoy hanging out with those two sexy women lol
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Old 08-26-2008, 01:54 PM   #11
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This is hilarious!!! You forgot the one about women can fit anything in their butts.
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Old 08-26-2008, 02:09 PM   #12
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Orca08 View Post
that was great. DL is calling QT darling? hmmmmmmm sounds like i might enjoy hanging out with those two sexy women lol
She's a fine woman and a canadian at that!
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Old 08-26-2008, 02:21 PM   #13
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragon_lady View Post
She's a fine woman and a canadian at that!
well i won't hold that against you two for being canadain lol
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Old 08-26-2008, 02:37 PM   #14
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Hey thanks for the laugh!!!!! too funny
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Old 08-26-2008, 02:37 PM   #15
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I did laugh, but mostly at the fact you got through typing the whole thing
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Old 08-26-2008, 02:52 PM   #16
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LMAO I've never heard of 7 shades of shit!
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Old 08-26-2008, 02:54 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boomer3 View Post
This is hilarious!!! You forgot the one about women can fit anything in their butts.

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Old 08-26-2008, 04:47 PM   #18
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OMG, that is too funny!
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Old 08-26-2008, 05:22 PM   #19
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27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned

now hold on a minute its not?
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Old 08-26-2008, 05:22 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarriedQt View Post
LMAO....that brightened my Monday morning!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragon_lady View Post
Darling, you may be a bit further west of me, but today is Tuesday...

LMAO - now that brightened my TUESDAY afternoon
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Old 08-26-2008, 05:29 PM   #21
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Hmmm having never seen a Porn Movie.. I'm lost with this one! LMAO.. Good stuff and thanks for sharing ..
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Old 08-26-2008, 07:44 PM   #22
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im glad you all liked it....and it is tuesday evening here now.....
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Old 08-26-2008, 07:46 PM   #23
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I was afraid to go to this thread, glad I did, funny.
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Old 08-26-2008, 08:20 PM   #24
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I love how you had the time to take notes on them.
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Old 08-26-2008, 08:22 PM   #25
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its taken me years of painstaking research to get these points.....my study could go on for many years
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