Married And Flirting Chat

Go Back   Married And Flirting Chat > Married And Flirting Chat Forums > Jokes, Stories & Games

Jokes, Stories & Games Have a good joke to tell or a story to share. How about a game to play, Post it here and share it with us.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-12-2014, 03:26 PM   #1
jtweed
Super Flirt
 
jtweed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: SoCal
Age: 32
Posts: 253
Thanks: 37
Thanked 29 Times in 26 Posts
jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute
Talking Pick up lines for nerds.

You're three standard deviations above the mean!
__________________
Its okay, I'm a professional
jtweed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2014, 03:27 PM   #2
twoblues
(.)(.)
 
twoblues's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Vancouver, BC
Age: 41
Posts: 3,074
Thanks: 271
Thanked 1,519 Times in 796 Posts
twoblues Is God Like twoblues Is God Like twoblues Is God Like twoblues Is God Like twoblues Is God Like twoblues Is God Like twoblues Is God Like twoblues Is God Like twoblues Is God Like twoblues Is God Like twoblues Is God Like
Default

I'm an electron and you're a nuclei...I feel a mutual attraction.
twoblues is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2014, 03:30 PM   #3
jtweed
Super Flirt
 
jtweed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: SoCal
Age: 32
Posts: 253
Thanks: 37
Thanked 29 Times in 26 Posts
jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Are you full of Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium?

Because you are Be-Au-Ti full.
__________________
Its okay, I'm a professional
jtweed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2014, 07:53 PM   #4
Violetsrblue
\_(ツ)_/
 
Violetsrblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Age: 47
Posts: 9,115
Thanks: 10,915
Thanked 5,055 Times in 3,171 Posts
Blog Entries: 2
Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like Violetsrblue Is God Like
Default

This is the geek you're looking for (waves hand about)
Violetsrblue is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Violetsrblue For This Useful Post:
jtweed (06-12-2014)
Old 06-12-2014, 07:54 PM   #5
the puck stops here
Hockey Goon
 
the puck stops here's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Age: 49
Posts: 5,970
Thanks: 524
Thanked 1,513 Times in 1,264 Posts
the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like
Default

Is your name google...cuz you're everything I'm searching for.
the puck stops here is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2014, 07:59 PM   #6
Mr_Happy
Busy
I Love It Here
 
Mr_Happy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Age: 62
Posts: 6,640
Thanks: 1,665
Thanked 1,377 Times in 941 Posts
Mr_Happy Is God Like Mr_Happy Is God Like Mr_Happy Is God Like Mr_Happy Is God Like Mr_Happy Is God Like Mr_Happy Is God Like Mr_Happy Is God Like Mr_Happy Is God Like Mr_Happy Is God Like Mr_Happy Is God Like Mr_Happy Is God Like
Default

Wanna touch my Hot Pocket?
Mr_Happy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2014, 08:23 PM   #7
jtweed
Super Flirt
 
jtweed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: SoCal
Age: 32
Posts: 253
Thanks: 37
Thanked 29 Times in 26 Posts
jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute
Default

I'm like a Rubix Cube, the more you play with me the harder I get.
__________________
Its okay, I'm a professional
jtweed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2014, 08:49 PM   #8
ErenBee
comfily unconventional
 
ErenBee's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Age: 48
Posts: 600
Thanks: 105
Thanked 116 Times in 84 Posts
Blog Entries: 5
ErenBee has a reputation beyond repute ErenBee has a reputation beyond repute ErenBee has a reputation beyond repute ErenBee has a reputation beyond repute ErenBee has a reputation beyond repute ErenBee has a reputation beyond repute ErenBee has a reputation beyond repute ErenBee has a reputation beyond repute ErenBee has a reputation beyond repute ErenBee has a reputation beyond repute ErenBee has a reputation beyond repute
Default

The past, present and future walk into a bar.

It was tense.
ErenBee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2014, 08:52 PM   #9
jtweed
Super Flirt
 
jtweed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: SoCal
Age: 32
Posts: 253
Thanks: 37
Thanked 29 Times in 26 Posts
jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute
Default

I follow you on Twitter
__________________
Its okay, I'm a professional
jtweed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2014, 09:04 PM   #10
hijiller
Hmmmm...
 
hijiller's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: In a New York state of mind
Age: 42
Posts: 27,110
Thanks: 10,196
Thanked 11,659 Times in 7,986 Posts
Blog Entries: 3
hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like
Default

You remind me of Steve Jobs.
hijiller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2014, 09:18 PM   #11
jtweed
Super Flirt
 
jtweed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: SoCal
Age: 32
Posts: 253
Thanks: 37
Thanked 29 Times in 26 Posts
jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute
Default

I'm a level 60 lover....
__________________
Its okay, I'm a professional
jtweed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2014, 09:30 PM   #12
oldandnaked
Flirting God
 
oldandnaked's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Southern California
Age: 69
Posts: 14,364
Thanks: 2,139
Thanked 7,233 Times in 4,781 Posts
Blog Entries: 5
oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like oldandnaked Is God Like
Default

Is that a Flash Drive in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
__________________
Tall, Dark and Average
oldandnaked is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2014, 09:32 PM   #13
jtweed
Super Flirt
 
jtweed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: SoCal
Age: 32
Posts: 253
Thanks: 37
Thanked 29 Times in 26 Posts
jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Do you speak Klingon?
__________________
Its okay, I'm a professional
jtweed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2014, 09:35 PM   #14
gabrielle22
Coniglio Fero'c'e
 
gabrielle22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: In the Corner
Age: 44
Posts: 31,937
Thanks: 17,095
Thanked 14,513 Times in 10,524 Posts
Blog Entries: 10
gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like
Default

Baby, are you an exothermic reaction? Cause dayum..you're making me hot.
gabrielle22 is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to gabrielle22 For This Useful Post:
jtweed (06-12-2014)
Old 06-12-2014, 09:38 PM   #15
jtweed
Super Flirt
 
jtweed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: SoCal
Age: 32
Posts: 253
Thanks: 37
Thanked 29 Times in 26 Posts
jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute
Default

I think my heart just lagged.
__________________
Its okay, I'm a professional
jtweed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2014, 09:39 PM   #16
ZMan2014
Flirting God
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: North Carolina
Age: 32
Posts: 759
Thanks: 96
Thanked 163 Times in 118 Posts
ZMan2014 has a reputation beyond repute ZMan2014 has a reputation beyond repute ZMan2014 has a reputation beyond repute ZMan2014 has a reputation beyond repute ZMan2014 has a reputation beyond repute ZMan2014 has a reputation beyond repute ZMan2014 has a reputation beyond repute ZMan2014 has a reputation beyond repute ZMan2014 has a reputation beyond repute ZMan2014 has a reputation beyond repute ZMan2014 has a reputation beyond repute
Default

You’re as sweet at 3.14.
__________________
"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." - Andy Bernard from The Office
ZMan2014 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2014, 09:40 PM   #17
Stew
Just playin
 
Stew's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Canada
Age: 50
Posts: 24,616
Thanks: 2,819
Thanked 7,191 Times in 5,425 Posts
Blog Entries: 5
Stew Is God Like Stew Is God Like Stew Is God Like Stew Is God Like Stew Is God Like Stew Is God Like Stew Is God Like Stew Is God Like Stew Is God Like Stew Is God Like Stew Is God Like
Default

Hi, ahhh, so, wanna soda?
__________________
Caution........may be sarcastic..
Stew is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2014, 09:41 PM   #18
trlnlty
I'm your Huckleberry
 
trlnlty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Where happiness takes me
Age: 39
Posts: 18,102
Thanks: 11,015
Thanked 6,750 Times in 4,877 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
trlnlty Is God Like trlnlty Is God Like trlnlty Is God Like trlnlty Is God Like trlnlty Is God Like trlnlty Is God Like trlnlty Is God Like trlnlty Is God Like trlnlty Is God Like trlnlty Is God Like trlnlty Is God Like
Default

I would flirt with you, but I'd rather seduce you with my awkwardness
__________________
Buncha savages in this town.
trlnlty is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to trlnlty For This Useful Post:
Bailey~* (06-12-2014), jtweed (06-12-2014), wiscydmb (06-12-2014), ZMan2014 (06-12-2014)
Old 06-12-2014, 09:42 PM   #19
gabrielle22
Coniglio Fero'c'e
 
gabrielle22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: In the Corner
Age: 44
Posts: 31,937
Thanks: 17,095
Thanked 14,513 Times in 10,524 Posts
Blog Entries: 10
gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like
Default

I wish I were DNA Helicase...so I could unzip your genes.
gabrielle22 is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to gabrielle22 For This Useful Post:
jtweed (06-12-2014), wiscydmb (06-12-2014)
Old 06-12-2014, 09:46 PM   #20
jtweed
Super Flirt
 
jtweed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: SoCal
Age: 32
Posts: 253
Thanks: 37
Thanked 29 Times in 26 Posts
jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute jtweed has a reputation beyond repute
Default

I'd love to plug my solution into your equation.

Gabrielle is really good at these.
__________________
Its okay, I'm a professional
jtweed is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to jtweed For This Useful Post:
gabrielle22 (06-12-2014)
Old 06-12-2014, 09:51 PM   #21
BlondieS
The Mad Hatter
 
BlondieS's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Age: 52
Posts: 15,762
Thanks: 4,352
Thanked 4,148 Times in 2,959 Posts
BlondieS Is God Like BlondieS Is God Like BlondieS Is God Like BlondieS Is God Like BlondieS Is God Like BlondieS Is God Like BlondieS Is God Like BlondieS Is God Like BlondieS Is God Like BlondieS Is God Like BlondieS Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by oldandnaked View Post
Is that a Flash Drive in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
You stole my line!

Great minds...
BlondieS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2014, 09:58 PM   #22
Bailey~*
earning Valhalla
 
Bailey~*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Age: 53
Posts: 11,488
Thanks: 9,710
Thanked 8,564 Times in 4,833 Posts
Blog Entries: 5
Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like Bailey~* Is God Like
Default

If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.
__________________

Save
Bailey~* is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Bailey~* For This Useful Post:
gabrielle22 (06-12-2014)
Old 06-12-2014, 10:03 PM   #23
gabrielle22
Coniglio Fero'c'e
 
gabrielle22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: In the Corner
Age: 44
Posts: 31,937
Thanks: 17,095
Thanked 14,513 Times in 10,524 Posts
Blog Entries: 10
gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like
Default

If you were a transformer you'd be Optimus Fine.
gabrielle22 is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to gabrielle22 For This Useful Post:
Bailey~* (06-12-2014), trlnlty (06-12-2014), wiscydmb (06-12-2014)
Old 06-12-2014, 10:44 PM   #24
gabrielle22
Coniglio Fero'c'e
 
gabrielle22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: In the Corner
Age: 44
Posts: 31,937
Thanks: 17,095
Thanked 14,513 Times in 10,524 Posts
Blog Entries: 10
gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like gabrielle22 Is God Like
Default

Your sine must be pi over 2, cause you're the 1.
gabrielle22 is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to gabrielle22 For This Useful Post:
Apparition (06-12-2014)
Old 06-12-2014, 10:47 PM   #25
the puck stops here
Hockey Goon
 
the puck stops here's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Age: 49
Posts: 5,970
Thanks: 524
Thanked 1,513 Times in 1,264 Posts
the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like the puck stops here Is God Like
Default

Are you sitting on the F5 key? Cuz your ass is refreshing.
the puck stops here is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:24 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.