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Old 01-11-2007, 09:52 AM   #1
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Default Have you met your online lover in person? What was it like?

... met up with an online partner, maybe off here or elsewhere, and have been disappointed! In other words, the fantasy was indeed better than the reality! Share your experiences if you like ...
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Old 01-11-2007, 10:21 AM   #2
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haveen't seen the reality yet but the fantasy has been unbelievable
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Old 01-11-2007, 10:58 AM   #3
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I never did.

I like to have someone I can talk to and maybe get stuff off my chest, have a special link to someone but in the end I dont think I would do it.
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Old 01-11-2007, 10:59 AM   #4
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Goodness, no one??? Ah well, thought I'd ask!
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Old 01-11-2007, 11:13 AM   #5
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Jenny You read a novel.. Let us say Anna Karenina and you build a film..And you see the film directed by another one...There is a huge difference between. I am sure you will be disaapointed when we meet but I will never...
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Old 01-11-2007, 11:22 AM   #6
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I have NEVER been disappointed - but then, that might be because we get to know each other on a level different than just cybering.
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Old 01-11-2007, 11:42 AM   #7
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I have met up with someone that I met online...when SGT and I were split up...matter a fact I went to Scotland and lived with him for 6 months...had a blast!!!! Have to say though I knew him online for a bit over 2 years and we wrote letters to each other and talked on the phone before I ever went to Scotland...Took quite the chance...would not recommend that everyone go out and do that...I am just a very trusting person!!!!
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Old 01-11-2007, 11:58 AM   #8
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Can't say that I have....
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1. Never take your comfort for granted. It can change in a moment's notice.

2. Always be yourself and never apologize for who you are or who you have become internally. One person's trash is always another's treasure.

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4. Never have regrets. Learn from your mistakes and misfortunes. Know that life is one big test. You can pass it if you learn from the pop quizzes along the way.
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Old 01-11-2007, 12:07 PM   #9
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Haven't yet. But I am working on the possibility.
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Old 01-11-2007, 12:58 PM   #10
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I have and even though at the time I wasn't disappointed, I am now. It could have easily ruined my marriage, for someone who never had my best interest at heart.

It caused more pain than I have experienced in a long time. When I think about it now, I still feel the loss of my self-respect. Oh, I feel guilt for what I did to my husband, but the guilt I feel for what I did to myself is just as great.

It's been a year since then, and up until a few months ago he would still send IM's to me. I stopped responding and got busy with life. My IM is always on and one day I came home and found splashed on my screen a message from him telling me he loved me. That was all I needed... I had come home from work early that day. Normally my husband is the first to walk in.... with our son!! We had a long standing agreement that until I responded to a simple "hello", he had to assume my husband was home. I sent him an e-mail telling him what happened and blocked him on my IM.

Got a Christmas card though....
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Old 01-11-2007, 01:10 PM   #11
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I have not off of this site, but yes was disappointing. I think the chase is more of the thrill.
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Old 01-11-2007, 01:32 PM   #12
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So far I've met 4 women online that I have met in reality. 2 out of the 4 has been great, the other 3 were anywhere from decent to not my type at all.

The first woman I met online was perfect, she ended up teaching me a lot and then I went on to 2 that really were not that great and the last one was the perfect mistress

So, I suppose I'm at about a 25-50% average which is pretty good. Unfortunately, some of the women online are there for a reason which can come out in personality or appearance when you meet them in real life, thereby destroying any fantasy that may have built up.
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Old 01-11-2007, 01:35 PM   #13
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blues, where did you meet these women? All off same site?
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Old 01-11-2007, 01:40 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luvplayluvlick
blues, where did you meet these women? All off same site?
Different sites. Some pay and some not. Patience is definitely a virtue.

I don't think I'd ever be able to do it in a bar or elsewhere, it just seems safer to get to know someone online first.
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Old 01-11-2007, 01:44 PM   #15
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yeah I agree about the bar scene. I think getting to know someone first is the best bet, plus a married woman would be nice to share similar situations.

When you say pay sites, are these specifically for married people?

Sorry for the questions, just new to all this!
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Old 01-11-2007, 01:45 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luvplayluvlick
yeah I agree about the bar scene. I think getting to know someone first is the best bet, plus a married woman would be nice to share similar situations.

When you say pay sites, are these specifically for married people?

Sorry for the questions, just new to all this!
I sent you an email, because I'm not sure if they want me linking to other websites on this forum.
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Old 01-11-2007, 01:50 PM   #17
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Thanks for the info I appreciate the help.
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Old 01-11-2007, 01:51 PM   #18
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Yes. But it took months of getting to know each other thru emails, chatting, and, by all means by webcam. The camera don't lie. We still chat once in a while, but haven't met again in several months.
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Old 01-11-2007, 02:10 PM   #19
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I would advise against it. You just dont really know who anyone really is.
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Old 01-11-2007, 02:14 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Penny
I would advise against it. You just dont really know who anyone really is.
No kidding

I'm working on kinking up my relationship, slowly but surely.
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Old 01-11-2007, 02:27 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Penny
I would advise against it. You just dont really know who anyone really is.

.... and I would disagree. Spending weeks and months talking with someone gives you a much better understanding of who they really are than looking across a smoky barroom, or dancing with them twice at the local club.

Cyber relationships are a lot more than hot sex and turn off the computer. They are about exploring each other, learning about each other, understanding each other. Tell me you got that in the 3 years you dated -- or whatever it might be. If you had, you probably wouldn't be here.
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Old 01-11-2007, 02:31 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spare_change
.... and I would disagree. Spending weeks and months talking with someone gives you a much better understanding of who they really are than looking across a smoky barroom, or dancing with them twice at the local club.

Cyber relationships are a lot more than hot sex and turn off the computer. They are about exploring each other, learning about each other, understanding each other. Tell me you got that in the 3 years you dated -- or whatever it might be. If you had, you probably wouldn't be here.
I'm with both of you

I think if you take the time with someone I'm with spare, if you dont I'm with Penny.

I do agree that the connection and that with time you can have more then a fair guess at how someone is.

Look at me I'm awesome! most of you didn't know that! see!
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Old 01-11-2007, 02:32 PM   #23
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Hard to tell if someone is a stalker on a PC, If you meet someone in a bar and dont like their mannerisms chances are your not going to chat with them for months and get a false sensce of security.
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Old 01-11-2007, 02:34 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spare_change
.... and I would disagree. Spending weeks and months talking with someone gives you a much better understanding of who they really are than looking across a smoky barroom, or dancing with them twice at the local club.

Cyber relationships are a lot more than hot sex and turn off the computer. They are about exploring each other, learning about each other, understanding each other. Tell me you got that in the 3 years you dated -- or whatever it might be. If you had, you probably wouldn't be here.
Perhaps there is a difference, safety-wise from a women's point of view? As a guy, I never feel unsafe, but I there are definitely some predators out there.

But, I agree with you Spare, I never meet someone the same day as I meet them online (well, okay, I did once and the sex was great ) You get to know them online, then meet them for some drinks, then see if you feel comfortable. After meeting in person, then you need to decide if you want to advance the relationship, but at least you've gotten to know their personality beforehand.
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Old 01-11-2007, 02:38 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twoblues
Perhaps there is a difference, safety-wise from a women's point of view? As a guy, I never feel unsafe, but I there are definitely some predators out there.

But, I agree with you Spare, I never meet someone the same day as I meet them online (well, okay, I did once and the sex was great ) You get to know them online, then meet them for some drinks, then see if you feel comfortable. After meeting in person, then you need to decide if you want to advance the relationship, but at least you've gotten to know their personality beforehand.
Absolutely. i would hazard a guess that most "cyber couples" talk more, and more personally, in the first two months of their relationship than most "live couples" do before they get married!

When you go out on a date with someone, you have music, friends, a movie, whatever to entertain you and interrupt any meaningful conversation. But, when you look at them on your computer, there ain't nothing but the two of you -- you talk, you listen, you learn.

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