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Old 10-28-2008, 07:44 AM   #1
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Default Would You Marry Again?

Here's a question I have always thought about. Would you marry again or would you prefer to live together without the legal document?

Many things to think about here...that legal document provides some damn expensive health benes as well as financial benes...do we want that finncial burden on someone we love by refusing to marry again? Do we want our spouse to have to work as age creeps up on us because he/she is unable to afford health benes as an individual? Then the thought of younger lovers wanting another child...or their first child.

If you want to play in this thread, you're not allowed to say, "well, I'm not getting divorced anytiime soon, or I love my spouse so I can't answer. Uh uh....then move to another thread. I'm curious as to everyone's answer as it pertains to a divorce from the man or woman you are married to right now. Let's think about what if...

This is M&FC where everybody doesn't know your name and we all fantasize to start and then take the next step...or not.

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Old 10-28-2008, 07:49 AM   #2
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i can't see me ever getting married again. honestly i could see me going off the deep end and partying with a different woman each week for a while!!!! Line em up baby
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Old 10-28-2008, 07:54 AM   #3
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Damn...an honest man!

Good answer if that's how you feel.....a marriage needs honesty, especially from the men!
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Old 10-28-2008, 07:59 AM   #4
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Believe me I would NOT marry again...this one has taken way to much out of me!!!!! Thinking I would spend some time alone...To find ME again!!!!!!
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Old 10-28-2008, 08:01 AM   #5
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maybe depends on the woman, she definetly would have to like sex unlike my first choice.
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Old 10-28-2008, 08:02 AM   #6
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TI while I'm not married presently, I can still remember when I was and when this question came to mind...not when I was actually considering someone in particular but rather in general. After twice, I promised myself that I would never,,,never walk down that pathway again...I made it about 10 years living happily with that decision...a decision I was very committed to keeping. However, recently I learned, once again, the fallacy of saying "Never" to anything especially when it comes to relationships. So yes I have had to reconsider that decision in light of my recent discovery and my answer is a resounding YES I would want to marry again. My belief is that while the commitment is truly of the heart, living together is simply too easy to give up and walk away without being forced to completely consider the long term implications of just walking away. So unless it's just a relationship of convenience and that's understood from the beginning. I think being married actually has some benefits besides giving the children some legitimacy.
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Old 10-28-2008, 08:04 AM   #7
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TI while I'm not married presently, I can still remember when I was and when this question came to mind...not when I was actually considering someone in particular but rather in general. After twice, I promised myself that I would never,,,never walk down that pathway again...I made it about 10 years living happily with that decision...a decision I was very committed to keeping. However, recently I learned, once again, the fallacy of saying "Never" to anything especially when it comes to relationships. So yes I have had to reconsider that decision in light of my recent discovery and my answer is a resounding YES I would want to marry again. My belief is that while the commitment is truly of the heart, living together is simply too easy to give up and walk away without being forced to completely consider the long term implications of just walking away. So unless it's just a relationship of convenience and that's understood from the beginning. I think being married actually has some benefits besides giving the children some legitimacy.

But OAK...cant you live together without getting married and have the same type of relationship??? Then if it ever comes that it is time to walk away....you can without all the BS??????
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Old 10-28-2008, 08:14 AM   #8
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i can't see me ever getting married again. honestly i could see me going off the deep end and partying with a different woman each week for a while!!!! Line em up baby

While I will agree that what you're saying is seemingly desireable for a while, I also know that there is a huge emptiness that goes along with it after a season or two. Both the challenge and the conquest are gratifying...However, sooner or later you'll find that while they all are good and some are way better...even then at some point you'll want to be a part of the motor that's behind the movement...I believe there is one out there that you'll likely run across and not want to turn loose of so quickly.

So enjoy it but remember the saying about never saying never...and I can tell you that eating crow is not so bad but it sometimes takes a while to swallow.
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Old 10-28-2008, 08:23 AM   #9
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But OAK...cant you live together without getting married and have the same type of relationship??? Then if it ever comes that it is time to walk away....you can without all the BS??????
Certainly it's possible,,anything is...and I suppose it depends on the couple. I just know that for me it's just not the same...I want her to share my name, my family, as well as my life and my possessions. And while living together is certainly a committed relationship, or should be, to me it's just not the same...I would want her to know that I'm proud to give it, the relationship, my all even to the point of knowing there's the possibility of having to deal with the bullshit...I think it's the willingness of giving all of me as opposed to reserving enough to be able avoid the hard part should that be necessary. Just my humble opinion I know.
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Old 10-28-2008, 08:24 AM   #10
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Certainly it's possible,,anything is...and I suppose it depends on the couple. I just know that for me it's just not the same...I want her to share my name, my family, as well as my life and my possessions. And while living together is certainly a committed relationship, or should be, to me it's just not the same...I would want her to know that I'm proud to give it, the relationship, my all even to the point of knowing there's the possibility of having to deal with the bullshit...I think it's the willingness of giving all of me as opposed to reserving enough to be able avoid the hard part should that be necessary. Just my humble opinion I know.
I feel the exact same way.
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Old 10-28-2008, 08:35 AM   #11
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Certainly it's possible,,anything is...and I suppose it depends on the couple. I just know that for me it's just not the same...I want her to share my name, my family, as well as my life and my possessions. And while living together is certainly a committed relationship, or should be, to me it's just not the same...I would want her to know that I'm proud to give it, the relationship, my all even to the point of knowing there's the possibility of having to deal with the bullshit...I think it's the willingness of giving all of me as opposed to reserving enough to be able avoid the hard part should that be necessary. Just my humble opinion I know.

OK...that was very elegantly said....I just dont know if I could ever put them shoes on again!!!!
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Old 10-28-2008, 08:49 AM   #12
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OK....I just dont know if I could ever put them shoes on again!!!!
Kissie I actually think that's a healthy way to look at it...when/if the time comes and you're ready to try on a pair, it won't be because you're desperate to not be barefooted.
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Old 10-28-2008, 09:05 AM   #13
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Never say never... you don't know who will come into your life that will totally take you by storm and turn your life upside down to the point that you want to keep that person in your life forever. I know I had similar thoughts... before I met Mighty. Now, it is a definite. I have never met anyone that has found the places in my heart I never knew I had. I don't just want her in my life until the day I die... I NEED her in my life.
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Old 10-28-2008, 09:08 AM   #14
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I would have to say NO, I will not go down this road again. I have found in the past of course never say never, but as it stands right now, I look forward to the dating, loving and enjoying life for me. Too many let downs and broken promises, to many lonely days while living with another soul. As for the benefits, well I have been the primary supporter/support in my relationships thus far, why would this change now!
Then there is always the thought of the one knocking me on my ass and winning my heart, it has been known to happen. Wonders never cease!
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Old 10-28-2008, 09:10 AM   #15
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I definitely would marry again! I've been married twice (first time was only for a year, almost 25 years ago) and wasn't in love either time. I'd like to marry someone I'm head-over-heels in love with. I feel that way about the guy I'm seeing now, but we're both married and he won't leave his wife . I truly feel I could love him and be happy with him for the rest of my life.
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Old 10-28-2008, 09:50 AM   #16
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when/if the time comes and you're ready to try on a pair, it won't be because you're desperate to not be barefooted.
OAK, you are out-eloquenting yourself this morning. Whereas I am making up words like "out-eloquenting."

I agree, never say never - and it's possible to do this even if you don't have the love of your life in your sights right now. Maybe a little more difficult, but possible. Of course, I'm figuring this all out as I go, but...well, I'll write some stuff down or leave a trail or breadcrumbs or something so I can figure out what it's all about later.
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Old 10-28-2008, 09:53 AM   #17
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Never say never... you don't know who will come into your life that will totally take you by storm and turn your life upside down to the point that you want to keep that person in your life forever. I know I had similar thoughts... before I met Mighty. Now, it is a definite. I have never met anyone that has found the places in my heart I never knew I had. I don't just want her in my life until the day I die... I NEED her in my life.

grrrrrr.... I am so happy for you and I quite agree... someone will step into your life and will just make things all worth while..

I am not sure I will marry again.. but I am not going to push the thought completely aside.. for now i am happy being single and meeting new people.. making friends.. etc.....
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Old 10-28-2008, 09:54 AM   #18
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Old 10-28-2008, 10:14 AM   #19
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I have given this question lots of thought, but analyzed the pros and cons to no end. Ironic, I have been asked more times to get married while I was already married, than when I was single. I would have to say, first and foremost, it depends on the person you are with. If they have never had kids and are single, and they want kids with you. You have to take it into consideration, if you love him, he deserves to have children of his own. So many factors to consider, but yet, I find myself thinking that with the right person, I would be so happy to be married...again. When I look back, I thought I had it all. I was so happy. I finally had a family of my own, and it started with getting married. I know someday I will get a divorce, when is just the question. I finally came to terms with the thought of giving up my religion so I can move forward. I'm catholic. They make it difficult on you, as if the burden of responsibility wasn't great enough. So to answer your question, yes I would marry again. But it wouldn't have nothing to do with insurance, I would marry again for love and for love alone. If I knew in my heart that I wouldn't love him enough to take care of him if he was in a car accident..and he was a paralyzed from the neck down and couldn't have sex, then I wouldn't marry him. I would have to love him enough to do all that and then some. Only then would it be worth it.
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Old 10-28-2008, 10:18 AM   #20
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OAK, you are out-eloquenting yourself this morning. Whereas I am making up words like "out-eloquenting."

I agree, never say never - and it's possible to do this even if you don't have the love of your life in your sights right now. Maybe a little more difficult, but possible. Of course, I'm figuring this all out as I go, but...well, I'll write some stuff down or leave a trail or breadcrumbs or something so I can figure out what it's all about later.

lol NTG you're so kind to me...AND I like your word choice by the way...Thanks
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Old 10-28-2008, 10:27 AM   #21
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You betcha! I very much need to be married to give my love its full meaning. Without marriage, my adoration would still be there, but I don't think it would flourish quite the same. Marriage has been the single most thing guiding my relationships...I'd feel even more lost without it!

Besides which, I went though two divorces in my twenties, survived them, did not regret them really, and took the 'leap of faith' with Wife Number 3 (heh, she hates that)....and have always felt proud of myself for not being deterred.

I think it's one of those questions that depends on your present state of happiness, feelings can change within months of finding that special person. The mind has a habit of blanking out negative thoughts and experiences, even the logical ones, when you're thoroughly absorbed with love!
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Old 10-28-2008, 10:28 AM   #22
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If I had it all to do over again I would of married sooner to have had more time to share with the woman of my dreams......... With marriage comes responsibilities but the love and the closeness far out weighs the burdens. I say this after being married 21 years, it seems the longer we have been together the more we have gotten to know each other and because of the mutual respect we have for one another it keeps getting better.
We have out moments like all married couples but they are few and far in between.
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Old 10-28-2008, 10:31 AM   #23
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Kissie I actually think that's a healthy way to look at it...when/if the time comes and you're ready to try on a pair, it won't be because you're desperate to not be barefooted.

I like tobe barefooted!!!!!!
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Old 10-28-2008, 10:57 AM   #24
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King...thanks for sharing those great thoughts! Your wonderful find is an understatement...cherish her to death and always show respect!



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Originally Posted by OnceAKing View Post
TI while I'm not married presently, I can still remember when I was and when this question came to mind...not when I was actually considering someone in particular but rather in general. After twice, I promised myself that I would never,,,never walk down that pathway again...I made it about 10 years living happily with that decision...a decision I was very committed to keeping. However, recently I learned, once again, the fallacy of saying "Never" to anything especially when it comes to relationships. So yes I have had to reconsider that decision in light of my recent discovery and my answer is a resounding YES I would want to marry again. My belief is that while the commitment is truly of the heart, living together is simply too easy to give up and walk away without being forced to completely consider the long term implications of just walking away. So unless it's just a relationship of convenience and that's understood from the beginning. I think being married actually has some benefits besides giving the children some legitimacy.
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:06 AM   #25
OICurready4me
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Originally Posted by cherri View Post
I have given this question lots of thought, but analyzed the pros and cons to no end. Ironic, I have been asked more times to get married while I was already married, than when I was single. I would have to say, first and foremost, it depends on the person you are with. If they have never had kids and are single, and they want kids with you. You have to take it into consideration, if you love him, he deserves to have children of his own. So many factors to consider, but yet, I find myself thinking that with the right person, I would be so happy to be married...again. When I look back, I thought I had it all. I was so happy. I finally had a family of my own, and it started with getting married. I know someday I will get a divorce, when is just the question. I finally came to terms with the thought of giving up my religion so I can move forward. I'm catholic. They make it difficult on you, as if the burden of responsibility wasn't great enough. So to answer your question, yes I would marry again. But it wouldn't have nothing to do with insurance, I would marry again for love and for love alone. If I knew in my heart that I wouldn't love him enough to take care of him if he was in a car accident..and he was a paralyzed from the neck down and couldn't have sex, then I wouldn't marry him. I would have to love him enough to do all that and then some. Only then would it be worth it.
I was baptised a Catholic also but I would not call myself one and haven't for quite some time. Being a Catholic is like being in the Mafia...once you get in, you can't get out...
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