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Old 10-16-2010, 07:18 PM   #26
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I haven't had it happen, but then again I don't share my pic very often. That said, I think I'd rather know upfront...that way you know right away to move along.
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Old 10-16-2010, 07:18 PM   #27
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Yeap. I have heard that once here on this site just after saying hello - lol. Yes, go figure. I was taken a back for a sec but not offend at all. If they are arrogant it is not my problem..its sayer's problem particulalry when I have not done anything but said hello. Now go live and love it. I will do the same.
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Old 10-16-2010, 07:20 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Madmonk2010 View Post
You have to whisper to me then

You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her
It doesn't matter who it was. I told this person it hurt my feelings and they said it wasn't their intention. They were just being honest and I know I can't be the first one to hear such a thing. That's why I wanted other people's thought. I know I can be over sensitive too.
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Old 10-16-2010, 07:21 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by livelove(m) View Post
Yeap. I have heard that once here on this site just after saying hello - lol. Yes, go figure. I was taken a back for a sec but not offend at all. If they are arrogant it is not my problem..its sayer's problem particulalry when I have not done anything but said hello. Now go live and love it. I will do the same.
That's kinda how it felt. LOL. Oh well. Could be my interpretation too.
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Old 10-16-2010, 07:22 PM   #30
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This is probably the hardest thing to do because, of course, most people take rejection personally. I know when my first love rejected me, I spent a long time trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Then I realized maybe it was not me that was at the center of the rejection! Perhaps I was not the type person she felt herself led to be with in a relationship other than friendship. So try not to take it personally when you're rejected: it may not have anything to do with you!
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Old 10-16-2010, 07:29 PM   #31
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Look at it as weeding out the people YOU don't want to talk to I wouldn't want to talk to someone who was that concerned
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Old 10-16-2010, 07:32 PM   #32
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So how and when DO you tell someone that they aren't your type, or that you're not into them, or that there just isn't a connection?
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Old 10-16-2010, 08:10 PM   #33
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You are better off without that person. If someone is going to judge you so quickly, they did you a favor. They need to look at you as a whole person not just a part of you. I would be frustrated but at the same time I would say ok "next"

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Old 10-16-2010, 08:12 PM   #34
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I am no one's type my happiness is key
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Old 10-16-2010, 08:47 PM   #35
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Yes someone has said that to me before too! Years ago, and we had only talked for about 5 minutes. I can understand I'm not everyones type but I get offended pretty easily and it really annoyed me lol.
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Old 10-16-2010, 08:51 PM   #36
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The other thing that just popped into my head is the fact that most of us will never meet so what does it matter what we look like when our relationships are online.

Sorry just bugs me that someone would treat someone like that.
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Old 10-16-2010, 08:58 PM   #37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sneaky View Post
Ever heard that before?
What is your reaction?
Would that offend you?

I was in the chat room & someone looked at my pics and said that to me!! We were just talking!! And suddenly I'm not their type! I got all offended. Is it POSSIBLE I'm not as HOT as I THOUGHT I was??

Do you think there is a more sensitive way to say such a thing?
Or am I over reacting like I often do?
Thoughts? Opinions?
I'm currently pouting and feeling hideous. LOL. And I wasn't even interested. WTF?!
A perfect example of how shallow and transparent most of our society has become.

You are better off without this person. Stick to those people who love and desire you for your cake instead of your icing.

If I have just met someone, and very quickly they ask about my appearance, or want to see my pic, before I get acquainted with them, I know that our friendship will never start or will be ultra-short lived. I do NOT care for people that are TOTALLY SHALLOW that way. Usually when I decline the information or showing my pic, they just disappear and later tell everyone they know what a jerk I am. (Based on true experiences)
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Old 10-16-2010, 09:10 PM   #38
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I am pretty sure I would mostly be amused especially if I was not even interested in him like that. I would wonder why he did not go all out douchebag and do the "oh dear god, fuck no...*shudder*" on me...if you are going to try to annihilate my ego at least do it right pffftttt. And yes I would be a bit offended, I mean seriously who says that after seeing someones pics even I wouldn't do that...but my reaction would be more like "WTF?!? LOL"...
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Old 10-16-2010, 09:28 PM   #39
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Well I'll be canoodled..May I ask what ever happened to the beauty and brilliance of the mind? Ahhhh the "Brains" or "Bookworms" never get the lookers right? The over bearing, beastly, garish, heinous ape-like bafoons!!!! FOR SHAME!! LO! The shallowness of people who CANNOT SEE beyond what the flesh holds!!!! (Rant)

Ok now that I have that out of the way, Everyone has what they prefer as thier particular type. Do not be offended Dear Goddesses and rarest of rare male gems, through friendship and common ground first, there could grow an attraction, I was NOT attracted to my husband after all I was was only with women before him. However the more I talked with him and grew to know who he REALLY was, his body and moreover the fact he was missing a vital part of the human anatomy that I only was framiliar with, grew irrelevent and more came of it. Have faith and KNOW it isn't you, it's human nature, it's finding one that rejects normalcy and follows the irregular path that's the hard part.......
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Old 10-16-2010, 09:37 PM   #40
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I would never say that to anyone...there's a difference being honest and being brutally honest and hurtful. This person has no class.

People do have different tastes so it doesn't mean you aren't hot, Sneaky. BUT this person shouldn't have said anything...I would be hurt too! I've seen lots of pics of people that I thought "Ummm..no thanks" but I would never SAY anything like that. I always find SOMETHING positive to say and leave it at that.

I think women are already too hard on themselves when it comes to appearance. We don't need others telling us what's wrong with us too.
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Old 10-16-2010, 09:49 PM   #41
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Wow.. I think there are different way to say things and not be so insensitative. I think its called tact. I wouldnt worry about it because it doesnt really matter what they think of you, it only matters what you think of yourself. Cause in the end your the one that counts
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Old 10-16-2010, 09:50 PM   #42
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I'm afraid to answer this question, but, I will...

This is where REAL LIFE and ONLINE differ VASTLY.

Play this scenario out in REAL LIFE, say, at a bar, office party, social event, you name it...

Person A looks over and sees person B. IF person A is not attracted to person B for WHATEVER REASON, (i.e. how one person looks at what is supposed to be ART and says BEAUTIFUL, the other looks and says I DON'T GET IT, one man sees a woman and thinks she is GORGEOUS, another guy sees the same woman and, well he doesn't see her as gorgeous) the odds of Person A even starting a conversation with Person B in the first place are very low...

By the same token, Person A may look over, see Person B, find them physically appealing, go begin a conversation with Person B and come to find out that something about the INNER PERSON negatively outweighs any physical attraction (or vice versa)...

I've heard all the "looks don't matter, it's what is inside that counts" but, I don't totally buy that...

Like I have said before, we don't all go around in REAL LIFE with bags over our heads and only allow folks to see us once they know us better...like it or not, LOOKS are part of the over all attraction.

Do you have to come right out and say, "you are not my type?" No, that is something that will probably never happen in REAL LIFE situations. Online it can be a bit different...

Say you invest time TALKING to someone online, great conversations, some flirting, you feel SOME type of connection forming romantically and then you see this persons picture and...they just are NOT your type (no sin in that), how do YOU handle it, handle the difference in what you had going on in your mind versus the "real deal?

I will just come out and say it, before I get "too" invested in someone, there HAS to be a level of physical attraction and online, I won't allow too much investment until I have seen what that person looks like...

I guess all this can depend on whether you are looking for just a FRIEND or if you are looking for something more as well...

I have probably gone outside the scope of the question...sorry.
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Old 10-16-2010, 09:51 PM   #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raina View Post
I am pretty sure I would mostly be amused especially if I was not even interested in him like that. I would wonder why he did not go all out douchebag and do the "oh dear god, fuck no...*shudder*" on me...if you are going to try to annihilate my ego at least do it right pffftttt. And yes I would be a bit offended, I mean seriously who says that after seeing someones pics even I wouldn't do that...but my reaction would be more like "WTF?!? LOL"...
DAMMIT you made WINE come out my NOSE with that one! I'm snorting. They may as WELL have said that for how I FELT.

Its like this:
(See my 'Damaged People Thread' LOL)
Something like that has NE--ver been said to me online. I know I walk around all "I'm so hot, I have a great ass. blah blah blah.". Whatever. Anyone that KNOWS me knows I am really NOT that way.

I grew up with a BFF that I LOVE so much that STOPS traffic. Men get in car accidents to check her out. (She is just as gorgeous inside.) So I have ALWAYS been "The Rhoda" she has ALWAYS been "The Mary". USUALLY..before I show my pic to ANYONE I lecture them: "I am a normal person. I'm not a model. I don't stop traffic. I am plain Jane." I sopose that has always prepare them and I didn't do that in this case.

To give credit to ANY guy I have ever been with before (the number isn't THAT large, ok? LOL.) they have ALWAYS said nice things. They have said things that actually gave me a little confidence. Many years of sexual rejection can MAKE a person feel hideous and unattractive. It took me YEARS to post pictures here and in one day I feel like taking them down. I guess that speaks volumes for my self esteame. LOL. Oh well.

And I KNOW I am more fortunate than people living in a third world country. Just let me have my moment. LOL.
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Old 10-16-2010, 09:54 PM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spidersrainbow View Post
Well I'll be canoodled..May I ask what ever happened to the beauty and brilliance of the mind? Ahhhh the "Brains" or "Bookworms" never get the lookers right? The over bearing, beastly, garish, heinous ape-like bafoons!!!! FOR SHAME!! LO! The shallowness of people who CANNOT SEE beyond what the flesh holds!!!! (Rant)

Ok now that I have that out of the way, Everyone has what they prefer as thier particular type. Do not be offended Dear Goddesses and rarest of rare male gems, through friendship and common ground first, there could grow an attraction, I was NOT attracted to my husband after all I was was only with women before him. However the more I talked with him and grew to know who he REALLY was, his body and moreover the fact he was missing a vital part of the human anatomy that I only was framiliar with, grew irrelevent and more came of it. Have faith and KNOW it isn't you, it's human nature, it's finding one that rejects normalcy and follows the irregular path that's the hard part.......
I sooooo agree! You are soo cool.

I mean, I have been attracted to people I wasn't in a physical sense at first because I saw what was inside and that opened me up to a physical attraction. I mean let's face it...we are all REAL people here. NOT freakin' models. SORRY. I'm NOT Angelina. Or my AV. I'm just ME.

And bookworms are hot as hell.
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Old 10-16-2010, 09:57 PM   #45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by musing64 View Post
I'm afraid to answer this question, but, I will...

This is where REAL LIFE and ONLINE differ VASTLY.

Play this scenario out in REAL LIFE, say, at a bar, office party, social event, you name it...

Person A looks over and sees person B. IF person A is not attracted to person B for WHATEVER REASON, (i.e. how one person looks at what is supposed to be ART and says BEAUTIFUL, the other looks and says I DON'T GET IT, one man sees a woman and thinks she is GORGEOUS, another guy sees the same woman and, well he doesn't see her as gorgeous) the odds of Person A even starting a conversation with Person B in the first place are very low...

By the same token, Person A may look over, see Person B, find them physically appealing, go begin a conversation with Person B and come to find out that something about the INNER PERSON negatively outweighs any physical attraction (or vice versa)...

I've heard all the "looks don't matter, it's what is inside that counts" but, I don't totally buy that...

Like I have said before, we don't all go around in REAL LIFE with bags over our heads and only allow folks to see us once they know us better...like it or not, LOOKS are part of the over all attraction.

Do you have to come right out and say, "you are not my type?" No, that is something that will probably never happen in REAL LIFE situations. Online it can be a bit different...

Say you invest time TALKING to someone online, great conversations, some flirting, you feel SOME type of connection forming romantically and then you see this persons picture and...they just are NOT your type (no sin in that), how do YOU handle it, handle the difference in what you had going on in your mind versus the "real deal?

I will just come out and say it, before I get "too" invested in someone, there HAS to be a level of physical attraction and online, I won't allow too much investment until I have seen what that person looks like...

I guess all this can depend on whether you are looking for just a FRIEND or if you are looking for something more as well...

I have probably gone outside the scope of the question...sorry.
BUT MUSING....I'm FIT!!!!

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Old 10-16-2010, 09:59 PM   #46
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Happens to everyone, it does lack a bit of subtility, but it was honest.

I remember a guy, not this place though, who was mostly looking for women with long enough hair for a poney tail through a baseball cap. I just had to laugh, because that seemed so very shallow. But, it was what turned him on and he was not there for my conversational skills lol God knows not many were... whoy oh why did I stuck around? lol
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Old 10-16-2010, 10:02 PM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sneaky View Post
BUT MUSING....I'm FIT!!!!

I agree you ARE fit...

...but to another guy whose TYPE is a thicker gal, he may see you as TOO SKINNY, see what I mean?

How you see YOURSELF is all that matters...
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Sneaky (10-16-2010)
Old 10-16-2010, 10:03 PM   #48
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I don't think I can honestly say I have a type.
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NeverGoSilently (10-17-2010)
Old 10-16-2010, 10:03 PM   #49
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The fact that the real world is so totally biased by looks is one reason I am here. In the real world, looks are 90%. In the real world, nice guys always finish last.

By taking the "first impression" looks out of the equation, I have discovered some EXTREMELY valuable GEMS of ladies here. Truth be known, anyone that takes time to get to know me is pleasantly surprised at what I have to offer in the way of intelligent conversation, and being a true and caring friend. THAT is what I am missing in REAL LIFE! People who will choose to be around me because of who and what I am.

Many of the posts in this thread show that for some people, "Looks DO matter" is still a huge component of whether they will be friends and get acquainted with someone or not.

It is a real disappointment when that shows up. (Spoken from many first hand experiences)
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Sneaky (10-16-2010)
Old 10-16-2010, 10:05 PM   #50
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I don't really know what to say. Sneaky, you are an incredibly witty, bright, outspoken person. I can't imagine most men here are not happy to post with you and then get to know you. I haven't even looked at your pictures and I already know that it absolutely does not matter to me what you look like. I just hope you aren't cuter than me

In the chat room, odd things happen. Complete strangers come up to you and ask if you shave or not (happened to me at least twice) or ask you if you're lonely and want to yahoo. And, I have had one guy tell me I was too old for him. And, a couple who have seen my picture and I guess thought I wasn't for them. Mostly no reaction.

But, even in the oddness of the chat room, that reaction was rude. So take it from me~ this person doesn't know anything about the wonder of YOU. They are looking for a cheap thrill and all they did was rush to see what you LOOKED like before finding out the substance of you. And, for whatever reason, you didn't turn their knob (so to speak) right away. OK, not everyone is beautiful to everyone. But, know this~ it says nothing about your beauty whether it be mental, emotional or physical. F#@k them.
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