"Just Friends"? nope...

[madmax]

Most of my friends are female so I know the conclusions of this study are flawed.

The study also plays down the huge difference between "potential" and "actual". Even going along with their flawed logic does that mean that if one has feelings for the other but does not act on then then they are no longer just friends? There are times I feel like strangling someone but do not act on it, by their logic I would be a murderer.

[jake4play]

Originally Posted by DomesticDiva

kiddin aside, I tend to be queen of the friend zone, as a defense mechanism, so I can & do have male just friends...Maybe they're hittin it in their minds ....I dunno...

Flip side is that there are some that have become more, I blame chemistry

Most of them probably either a)think they have a chance and would act if they got the chance or b) think they could get it but are happily in relationships and like your friendship because it is an ego stroke.

[hijiller]

Originally Posted by Bailey~*

I definitely have guys I work with that I feel that way about, and I'm sure the reverse is true for them. We have respect for each other.. know each others spouses.. know each others kids.. There's a comfort and ease there that feels like family. And I've been in different work situations where there was an atttraction.. so, I know the difference.. My current work mates I think 'ewwww.. gross.. that's like my brother'..

I don't know what the difference is.. But sometimes there is one.

I think the difference is your pheromones aren't moaning..so your brain just kicks that aspect out the window.

But there is more to relationships than just sex, right? I have two gay male friends whom I truly love, but I feel no sexual attraction, even tho one is extremely a hunk. I guess the brain just puts him in the "no fly zone" and we move on to the menu and what show we will see.

[Bailey~*]

Originally Posted by DomesticDiva

kiddin aside, I tend to be queen of the friend zone, as a defense mechanism, so I can & do have male just friends...Maybe they're hittin it in their minds ....I dunno...

Flip side is that there are some that have become more, I blame chemistry

Chemistry is hard to fight. If it's strong it's like a magical force that trumps everything on both sides.

[Bailey~*]

Originally Posted by artemis

I HAVE TONS of male friends with zero anything.. but this one.. he is my best buddy. He will NEVER act on anything (families, etc, etc), I have complete trust, but in the last few years (we all meet a few times).. its been a bit different.. even I felt something... not sure what.. Anyhow. That's that, sufficient miles separate us

I think every situation that has the possibility of sexual tension also carries the idea of risk vs. reward.. so, many times lines aren't crossed until the drive is overwhelming.. All I can figure out that in some situations the risk is way too heavy. Also the sexual reward is sometimes replaced by a more meaningful reward.. In the case of my work place we have the most ideal work conditions of anywhere I've ever worked. Maybe if our days were boring and miserable, it would be worth the risk to stir the pot? But things are so pleasant I'm sure that reward is much greater then sexual tension.

I have been in situations though like you describe where there becomes an imbalance, and you begin to not care as much about the risk

[artemis]

Originally Posted by Bailey~*

I think every situation that has the possibility of sexual tension also carries the idea of risk vs. reward.. so, many times lines aren't crossed until the drive is overwhelming.. All I can figure out that in some situations the risk is way too heavy. Also the sexual reward is sometimes replaced by a more meaningful reward.. In the case of my work place we have the most ideal work conditions of anywhere I've ever worked. Maybe if our days were boring and miserable, it would be worth the risk to stir the pot? But things are so pleasant I'm sure that reward is much greater then sexual tension.

I have been in situations though like you describe where there becomes an imbalance, and you begin to not care as much about the risk

yet another theme for our ongoing discussion... "Wanna stir my pot?" its not a pot.. but oh well.. similar to "FML: Fix my Lighthouse"

[Bailey~*]

Originally Posted by hijiller

I think the difference is your pheromones aren't moaning..so your brain just kicks that aspect out the window.

But there is more to relationships than just sex, right? I have two gay male friends whom I truly love, but I feel no sexual attraction, even tho one is extremely a hunk. I guess the brain just puts him in the "no fly zone" and we move on to the menu and what show we will see.

Actually one of my gay friend's one time told me if he wasn't gay, he'd marry me And one job I had a woman become uncomfortable to work with me because she became attracted to me.. So for me sexual orientation hasn't been a guaranteed barrier.

..but I agree if your motivation and energy is so focused on an engaging goal, then the day can pass between people without sexual tension coming into play.

Sexual attraction is just so base in us.. I'd say it would be naive to assume it's not always in the back(or front) of people's thoughts about each other. But I suppose it also makes sense not everybody is attracted to everyone.. so, some 'purer' friendships can occur.

[jackman]

Unlikely but not impossible

[JTbeachSlice]

Originally Posted by Just A Girl

oh boy

I like to think that we can be friends but due to the intensity of my animal magnetism, most men find it impossible to resist

I love JUST A GIRL!