Married And Flirting Chat

Go Back   Married And Flirting Chat > Married And Flirting Chat Forums > Jokes, Stories & Games

Jokes, Stories & Games Have a good joke to tell or a story to share. How about a game to play, Post it here and share it with us.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-19-2017, 05:21 PM   #176
St. Jimmy
Iíll be back.
 
St. Jimmy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Cali
Age: 55
Posts: 2,827
Thanks: 505
Thanked 456 Times in 376 Posts
St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like St. Jimmy Is God Like
Default

Cortisone injection is your drug of choice.
St. Jimmy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-19-2017, 05:59 PM   #177
Enigma77
Flirting God
I Love It Here
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Age: 40
Posts: 16,482
Thanks: 4,116
Thanked 5,318 Times in 3,985 Posts
Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like
Default

Where every joint in your body has its own sound.
Enigma77 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Enigma77 For This Useful Post:
scott46 (04-19-2017)
Old 05-18-2017, 11:25 PM   #178
RisingSun
4.5% GDP Forecasted
 
RisingSun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: My alternate Reality
Age: 65
Posts: 18,100
Thanks: 4,898
Thanked 2,754 Times in 2,546 Posts
RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like
Default

I'm not as good as I once was but.....I'm as good once as I ever was!
__________________


Common sense is " Genius" dressed in it's working clothes
RisingSun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2017, 11:32 PM   #179
Sensual Woman
Flirting God
 
Sensual Woman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Age: 55
Posts: 18,364
Thanks: 10,279
Thanked 5,235 Times in 3,644 Posts
Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like
Default

When every joint in your body either snaps, crackles, or pops
Sensual Woman is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sensual Woman For This Useful Post:
RisingSun (05-18-2017)
Old 05-18-2017, 11:37 PM   #180
Enigma77
Flirting God
I Love It Here
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Age: 40
Posts: 16,482
Thanks: 4,116
Thanked 5,318 Times in 3,985 Posts
Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like
Default

When you've spent the year so far thinking you're getting old (hitting the big 40!)
Enigma77 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2017, 11:38 PM   #181
Sensual Woman
Flirting God
 
Sensual Woman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Age: 55
Posts: 18,364
Thanks: 10,279
Thanked 5,235 Times in 3,644 Posts
Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enigma77 View Post
When you've spent the year so far thinking you're getting old (hitting the big 40!)
The big 40 is not old. I am well beyond that.
Sensual Woman is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sensual Woman For This Useful Post:
hijiller (05-19-2017)
Old 05-18-2017, 11:40 PM   #182
daisyduck
***Beautiful disaster ***
 
daisyduck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Down south
Age: 37
Posts: 29,716
Thanks: 6,573
Thanked 6,018 Times in 4,802 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like daisyduck Is God Like
Default

I get tired way more easier now than a year ago! Ugh!!!
__________________
Staying sane is cheaper than going insane!!

@<<<<ma
daisyduck is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2017, 12:22 AM   #183
hijiller
Hmmmm...
 
hijiller's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: In a New York state of mind
Age: 43
Posts: 27,448
Thanks: 10,370
Thanked 11,892 Times in 8,126 Posts
Blog Entries: 3
hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like hijiller Is God Like
Default

I bought one of those packs of 8 reading glasses, and placed them around the house and office.

And still, there is never one to hand when I need it.
hijiller is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to hijiller For This Useful Post:
Iceburn (05-19-2017), Lyric~* (05-19-2017)
Old 05-19-2017, 12:40 AM   #184
Lyric~*
*~🦋~*
 
Lyric~*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Bouncing between logic & magic
Age: 39
Posts: 15,441
Thanks: 9,312
Thanked 7,274 Times in 5,371 Posts
Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like Lyric~* Is God Like
Default

You get spots and weird skin thingies...I've got a cherry dot on my boob. It's like a 3rd nipple.
__________________
If you are looking for a friend who is faultless, you will be friendless. ~Rumi
Lyric~* is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Lyric~* For This Useful Post:
hijiller (05-19-2017)
Old 05-19-2017, 01:26 AM   #185
Enigma77
Flirting God
I Love It Here
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Age: 40
Posts: 16,482
Thanks: 4,116
Thanked 5,318 Times in 3,985 Posts
Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sensual Woman View Post
The big 40 is not old. I am well beyond that.
I gotta stop having anxiety attacks about the dreaded day.
Enigma77 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Enigma77 For This Useful Post:
Iceburn (05-19-2017)
Old 05-19-2017, 01:29 AM   #186
SophieC
Cake please
 
SophieC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: UK
Age: 37
Posts: 5,517
Thanks: 2,096
Thanked 4,235 Times in 2,349 Posts
Blog Entries: 22
SophieC Is God Like SophieC Is God Like SophieC Is God Like SophieC Is God Like SophieC Is God Like SophieC Is God Like SophieC Is God Like SophieC Is God Like SophieC Is God Like SophieC Is God Like SophieC Is God Like
Default

Noticing my knees
__________________
Peace out, bro.
SophieC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2017, 04:09 AM   #187
Iceburn
Thread Terrorist
 
Iceburn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: In the land of Naughty Sneakies
Age: 58
Posts: 47,163
Thanks: 21,421
Thanked 24,572 Times in 19,417 Posts
Blog Entries: 16
Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enigma77 View Post
I gotta stop having anxiety attacks about the dreaded day.
Can I have your dreaded day instead?
__________________
~ A good man has few enemies. A ruthless man has none ~
Iceburn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2017, 04:11 AM   #188
Iceburn
Thread Terrorist
 
Iceburn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: In the land of Naughty Sneakies
Age: 58
Posts: 47,163
Thanks: 21,421
Thanked 24,572 Times in 19,417 Posts
Blog Entries: 16
Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like Iceburn Is God Like
Default

Signs you're getting old??

Geezus!...I need signs....post its....memo's, referendum's....even summits to remember one...just one! bloody thing I need from the shops!
__________________
~ A good man has few enemies. A ruthless man has none ~
Iceburn is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Iceburn For This Useful Post:
Enigma77 (05-19-2017), hijiller (05-19-2017), redcat (05-20-2017), Sensual Woman (05-19-2017)
Old 05-19-2017, 04:20 AM   #189
BlueSky1234
Just being me
 
BlueSky1234's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Age: 49
Posts: 46,527
Thanks: 14,653
Thanked 12,432 Times in 9,046 Posts
BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like BlueSky1234 Is God Like
Default

Hangovers. Enough said
BlueSky1234 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to BlueSky1234 For This Useful Post:
Enigma77 (05-19-2017)
Old 05-19-2017, 07:25 AM   #190
Sensual Woman
Flirting God
 
Sensual Woman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Age: 55
Posts: 18,364
Thanks: 10,279
Thanked 5,235 Times in 3,644 Posts
Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enigma77 View Post
I gotta stop having anxiety attacks about the dreaded day.
Hugs hun. Stay strong.
Sensual Woman is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sensual Woman For This Useful Post:
Enigma77 (05-19-2017)
Old 05-20-2017, 08:44 PM   #191
Apparition
deus ex machina
 
Apparition's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: InsideYoMembrane
Age: 42
Posts: 30,737
Thanks: 5,218
Thanked 8,401 Times in 6,445 Posts
Blog Entries: 3
Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like
Default

You just wish to luxuriate and lift nary a finger
__________________
Zero Sum
Apparition is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Apparition For This Useful Post:
redcat (05-20-2017)
Old 05-20-2017, 10:14 PM   #192
redcat
Forum Leader
 
redcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Currently NC
Age: 61
Posts: 34,293
Thanks: 19,313
Thanked 13,252 Times in 8,421 Posts
Blog Entries: 32
redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like redcat Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apparition View Post
You just wish to luxuriate and lift nary a finger
Luxuriate....it feels good to just say that word. Excellent choice!

I think that's not so much a sign of getting old a a sign of how you should be treated.



You know you're gettin' old when your joints go out more than you do.
redcat is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to redcat For This Useful Post:
Apparition (05-20-2017)
Old 05-20-2017, 10:18 PM   #193
Sensual Woman
Flirting God
 
Sensual Woman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Age: 55
Posts: 18,364
Thanks: 10,279
Thanked 5,235 Times in 3,644 Posts
Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like
Default

When you are asleep in bed before nine every night and you don't have a job that requires you to get up super early
Sensual Woman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2017, 10:18 PM   #194
Apparition
deus ex machina
 
Apparition's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: InsideYoMembrane
Age: 42
Posts: 30,737
Thanks: 5,218
Thanked 8,401 Times in 6,445 Posts
Blog Entries: 3
Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like Apparition Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by redcat View Post
Luxuriate....it feels good to just say that word. Excellent choice!

I think that's not so much a sign of getting old a a sign of how you should be treated.



You know you're gettin' old when your joints go out more than you do.
Well ya know..the lack of energy thing plagues me. The stamina isn't what it used to be.
__________________
Zero Sum
Apparition is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2017, 10:19 PM   #195
RisingSun
4.5% GDP Forecasted
 
RisingSun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: My alternate Reality
Age: 65
Posts: 18,100
Thanks: 4,898
Thanked 2,754 Times in 2,546 Posts
RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like RisingSun Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sensual Woman View Post
When you are in bed before nine every night.
Well, ummm that isn't always bad!
__________________


Common sense is " Genius" dressed in it's working clothes
RisingSun is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to RisingSun For This Useful Post:
Sensual Woman (05-20-2017)
Old 05-20-2017, 10:54 PM   #196
flirtingenie
Silver Lady
 
flirtingenie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Arkansas
Age: 58
Posts: 13,525
Thanks: 3,203
Thanked 2,727 Times in 2,244 Posts
Blog Entries: 3
flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like flirtingenie Is God Like
Default

You start to go in a room and have to ask yourself why you are in there.
__________________

Wishing every one a Happy New Year .
flirtingenie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2017, 11:14 PM   #197
Sensual Woman
Flirting God
 
Sensual Woman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Age: 55
Posts: 18,364
Thanks: 10,279
Thanked 5,235 Times in 3,644 Posts
Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like Sensual Woman Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by RisingSun View Post
Well, ummm that isn't always bad!
True , but in my case it's to watch tv and go to sleep
Sensual Woman is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sensual Woman For This Useful Post:
RisingSun (05-20-2017)
Old 05-21-2017, 12:18 AM   #198
Want2bWanted
Divorced AF
 
Want2bWanted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: NW Indiana (near Chicago, IL)
Age: 45
Posts: 1,166
Thanks: 265
Thanked 185 Times in 157 Posts
Blog Entries: 2
Want2bWanted Is God Like Want2bWanted Is God Like Want2bWanted Is God Like Want2bWanted Is God Like Want2bWanted Is God Like Want2bWanted Is God Like Want2bWanted Is God Like Want2bWanted Is God Like Want2bWanted Is God Like Want2bWanted Is God Like Want2bWanted Is God Like
Default

When you go to more funerals than weddings!
__________________
14 years of marriage and all I got was this stupid t-shirt
Want2bWanted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2017, 12:52 AM   #199
Enigma77
Flirting God
I Love It Here
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Age: 40
Posts: 16,482
Thanks: 4,116
Thanked 5,318 Times in 3,985 Posts
Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like Enigma77 Is God Like
Default

When you're past the 'omg! I see a white hair' stage.
Enigma77 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2017, 12:56 AM   #200
SoCal guy
Flirting God
 
SoCal guy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Los Angeles
Age: 61
Posts: 10,746
Thanks: 3,195
Thanked 2,434 Times in 2,181 Posts
SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like SoCal guy Is God Like
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enigma77 View Post
When you're past the 'omg! I see a white hair' stage.
Or the "Where the hell did my hair go?" stage...
SoCal guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:14 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.